My boyfriend said I act like a man?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of almost 6 months now, does not have sex with me anymore, doesn't touch me like he use doesn't even try because I know he doesn't want to. We live together and he'll sleep sideways at the end of my bed. He use to be obsessed with couldn't stay away from me for 2 seconds never stopped touching me and now for the past 2 months this is hows he's been. Tonight he told me it was be he felt like he was fucking a dude because of how I act. That completely shattered me and I don't even know what to do or say.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that's harsh what he said to you. I can understand why that would really hurt. No one wants to hear their partner thinks they act like the opposite gender, yikes.

Somethings definitely not right if he's gone from obsessed with you to not wanting to be close at all. A few things you could try:

- Have a serious talk with him about why his feelings changed so much. Ask him to be specific about what behaviors he thinks are "manly" so you can address any real issues.

- It's possible something else is bothering him unrelated to you, and he's taking it out through blaming you. Dig deeper into how he's really feeling.

- If he can't or won't open up, maybe you need some space from each other to think. His comment was hurtful - don't accept being treated that way.

- Look at your dynamic too - has anything changed from your end that could be affecting his attraction? Rarely is it only one person's "fault."

Ultimately, the total loss of physical intimacy after so long is a red flag. This may just be something you two can't overcome. But trying communication is important before throwing in the towel. Stay strong - you deserve to feel respected by your partner!

[Asker]

Talking to him is like talking to a brick wall I'll tell him my feelings and he will tell me how I'm wrong or tell me I'm the reason he's the same anymore. Like I can't even look at him after he said that to me.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Your feelings don't have anything to do with what @oliverlogan263 is talking about. The point was "ask your boyfriend what behavior he is talking about". How anyone feels about that doesn't change the answer.

[Asker]

I've tried to and he just won't talk to me.

[Avicenna]

Sounds like there is some underlying problems in your relationship which aren't being addressed

[Asker]

I agree with you but every time I try to talk to him all he doesn't blame me and tell me it's because of how I do something or how I say something.

[Markstokes]

These people giving you advice are terrible. If your boyfriend tells you you are acting like a man then you should really look at yourself in the mirror. If he feels that way then any masculine man will feel that way. So unless you want a wimp for a man then you better get it together.

Masculine men like feminine women. Just like feminine women love really Masculine men… If you don’t understand how to be feminine around men then you need to go watch some YouTube videos.

By you not being feminine you are not using your Natural super power that god gifted you with when it comes to attraction.. Feminine women signal to men that you’ll be a great mother , and great caring wife. It also signals to men that you’ll be loyal to him, and understanding. … please don’t take all these single people on Reddit advice and listen to your boyfriend::: he would not say that if it weren’t true and you weren’t emasculating him in someway..

[Yannae]

What you should do is asking him how you act. Details, let him list everything and see what could change.

[Anonymous]

Why does he think you act like a man? Can you share any more details about that?

[Asker]

He didn't specify. That's what he said just the way I act. Before telling me that he said I wouldn't be able to handle what he was going to say, and boy was he right.

[BLKemperordrizzy90]

You might have to really ask him what's the deal?, then if he gets very defensive then cut him loose

[Anonymous]

Is he feminine?

[Asker]

Not in the slightest. He's a very manly man

[Opinion Owner]

Manly as in? Fit? Spent time in the military? Strong? Alpha? Please describe.

[Asker]

No he's just a man's man well he used to be anyway he was literally the type of guy that you would see in a movie or read out of a book for the first half of our relationship and then he just instantly changed

[Opinion Owner]

Like in a romance novel? He works a lot? Lazy? That’s pretty quick for something so new to fizzle out. Does he work? You work?

[Asker]

We both work 6 to 7 days a week and he's like well like I said used to be like the type of guy that you would read about in a fairy tale the type of guy that every girl dreams to have in their life and I was beyond happy and amazed that I found one but then it all changed

[Opinion Owner]

So he basically bamboozled you. He was never really like that. Men usually aren’t. It’s nothing that’s natural to us. But like I said even if that part dies down as far as flowers or notes or something, the oh sucks part should still be a green light. Especially if you’re cute w a nice body. I wonder if there’s another girl.

[Asker]

It wasn't even just about the flowers or the notes it was the way he truly treated me in the way I would go to bed smiling because I knew that I had somebody who loved me and like really loves me and I knew would protect me and keep me safe no matter what meanwhile he turned out to be the person who hurt me the most. I don't believe there's another girl like I said he lives with me he does not go anywhere if he does go somewhere I'm bringing him I don't really go through his phone but I've been on his phone and there's nothing there

[Opinion Owner]

Well it’s either he’s talking to someone else, or he’s no longer into you. But like I said for something g to happen so quickly like that only after 6 months. Something dramatic had to have happen to him. You have kids together?

[Asker]

No we do not have kids together. I try to talk to him as much as I can although I'm crying every time I do he won't tell me anymore even if there is an underlying issue or more to the story he won't tell me what it is. I personally think he's not into me anymore but he don't want to admit that to me. He always told me that he doesn't stay friends with females he said that constantly and then yesterday for the first time before he told me what I posted about here that he would remain friends with me no matter what.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sorry to hear that. So you had sex w him yes? Why did he move in so quick? Or who moved in w who?

[Asker]

Not to be too personal but we used to have sex like 10 times a day no joke and it was the most amazing sex I've ever had in my entire life he was really one of the type of guys that cared about my needs and if I finished first. We haven't had sex in like 2 months but not even just the sex part is what I'm worried about he don't even show desire in me he doesn't try to touch me he doesn't even kiss me in the same way that he used to I don't know if that makes much sense. He moved in with me I had moved out of my family's house got my own place and he moved in my place with me but then I had to leave there and he had nowhere else to go being he left his other place to move into mine so I took him back in to my family's house with me cuz I couldn't let him be homeless.

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds as though he just used you for a place to stay. Not to mention getting laid on the side as well. Did he help w rent? Bills? I’m thinking he was just telling you what you wanted to hear to use you, to give into him w whatever he wanted. Has something dramatic changed in your relationship that would possibly cause this? A discussion. Maybe you said you wanted to get married, have kids. He didn’t.

[Asker]

I'm not going to lie there are points in time where I felt like he was only there because he had no else to go. He used to pay for everything he always took care of me he would never let me pay for nothing but now with how things have been for the past couple months he don't take $2 out of his pocket I'm paying for everything if I want something or I'm doing something for myself and he's with me I make sure he gets it too. He used to be the one who would tell me he would want to marry me and have kids with me and I used to agree when he would bring it up because I truly thought I found someone I was going to spend the rest of my life with he's bought me two promise rings he used to buy me flowers all the time especially after we would fight. They're trying to talk to him now is like talking to myself he hears nothing I say he twist my words around and he just tells me how everything is my fault and how it's my fault.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes my dear sorry sounds like he was just using you. You need to ask him to move out. I guarantee if you tell him that he’s going to try to act lovey dovey again. Or he may get mad but I’m thinking he’s going to try to smooth things over w you so he doesn’t get kicked out. Unless he has a place to go. Look wise would you say you’re cute? I take it you did whatever he wanted sexually?

[Asker]

The mention of him not living with me had never come up until last night he brought it up and asked me if I wanted him to move out of course I said no but like I said it has never been mentioned before I have told him multiple times in the past that if it's clear as they on his end that he does not want to be with me anymore for whatever reason may be that I will not kick him out because I know that he has nowhere to go so for him to ask me if I want him to leave I don't even know where to go with that. Like I said the sex we had was great best I've ever had in my life the connection made it all the better the love everything like that. And nowadays his answer is the type of love that I expect is unattainable he can't maintain to love me the way I'm requesting every single day.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I’d ask him to leave. Give him a week. He’s a man. Let him figure that out. Because honestly for him to use you just for a place to stay, to play on your feelings like that in my opinion is much worse than you asking him to leave. He will continue to be this way because he knows you won’t pull that trigger. Men tend to do things over again if they know the girl will always take them back. Put your foot down. It’s time for him to go

[Asker]

You know this is not the first time I've been told to let him go but I don't want to sound like a classic girl saying you know I love him and I don't want to leave him the reason I hold on so tight and then hope that he'll come back that he'll be the man that I fell in love with.

[Opinion Owner]

I understand that. I went through a lot myself w a girl who cheated on me. She got pregnant, tried coming back, well she did cause I took her back then she went back to him. Why would you want to be w someone who doesn’t see you as his no. 1. I know that’s hard to fathom, but someone out there is going to hold you as their no. 1, not him.

[Asker]

It's just I was so used to how he would hold me like I was the only one not even just his number one. And I just have such hope that things can change even though since this has been going on I cry myself to sleep every night I'll cry while I'm driving the car with him sitting next to me while I'm laying in bed next to him and it's just like none of that matters to him anymore because I don't matter to him anymore and I know that but I don't want to accept that

[Opinion Owner]

Ok. How long do you expect to hold onto this hope? What if he never comes around? You two are barely 6 months into a relationship, he’s lost all interest. That isn’t coming back. The only way that may come back is if you became rich. Now you have money so he would probably want to still be w you because he sounds like a leech. Even if you did become rich would you want a man being w you because you’re rich? You keep making up excuses for him. You know as well as I do he’s wrong for what he’s done.

[Asker]

I know I make up excuses because it's hard to explain through words what we once had and it's hard to do accept that that will never come back

[Opinion Owner]

You don’t need to explain to me. I’ve been through it myself. I had to say no to her. I had to say I’m done. Sure I hated her for a king time but what she did altered what I did in my life which turned out much better. I understand how you feel but at some point you need to get back up off the ground n have some respect for yourself. Realize how pathetic it’s making you look. Begging someone to come back when they don’t want you. I’m not trying to be mean just being real. If you had a sister n she was going through this what would you tell her? Stay w him?

[Anonymous]

That’s offensive