Is it bad if a guy tells a woman he is lonely?

[Anonymous]

i have always worked with men they told me never to tell a woman that i'm lonely/that seems weird to me.

are they right?

[lilyanony1]

I'm lonely I'm dating someone that I think feels I'm needy and instead of him making more time for me I thin he's decided thats it's better we stay apart.
I had a relationship like this before. And instead of him being honest he's just using excuses.
It's good to have a life and things going on but sometimes you can still feel lonely in that. If you don't feel loved or feel apart of anything loneliness can creep in.
I think it depends on where you meet the person also. Sometimes they say honesty is the best policy. But something like that makes people try and find the cracks

[Bethany22]

I suppose it could make the guy look needy, and decrease her attraction towards him. She might also take it the wrong way that he means lonely sexually. But it depends on the guy. If his actions speak differently than what he says, then he probably doesn't have to worry that she'll lose interest.

[Asker]

she lives in another state so we only talk on facebook

[Anonymous]

Most women would respond negatively to it. But then again most women are not very good women. I would say it's on par with a woman telling you she's mentally ill. It's not a turn on. Why do you think they'd want to hear that? It's always best to err on the side of saying less to a woman than more. You only give her more information to judge you on when you do. The best advice I can give a guy is be as non-descript as possible, and let her write the story in her head about you. What her brain makes up if she likes you will be better than anything you could.

[Longshanks1968]

You need to be honest about how you feel or you will feel lonely always.
You don't want to appear weak and pathetic either.
So you need to find a way to express this to her in person with your head up and while making eye contact.
You can be a man and have feelings too.
If she uses it against you or has a lowered opinion of you or makes no moves to accommodate your needs, then she's the wrong bitch for you, and you should dump her ass and find someone else and stop wasting your time.

[coachTanthony]

Yeah never do that. Makes you look sad and pathetic.

[provokeesmokee]

It definitely can be and would likely be a bad move in most cases.

It's a red flag to me because it means the guy is likely socially inept and lacks independence.

Building your own friend group and support network as an adult is a necessity. A man who says he's lonely and doesn't have the ability to create and keep healthy relationships to fight off loneliness is a bad sign.

I've dated many people with few friends and they're unquestionably bad partners for me.

Work on not being lonely first off. Once you're able to be content on your own, you'll find you'll be in a better position not only in dating but in general in life.

[Jdodkfndosn]

I think many men choose a lonesome life by design. Women get support when they in a bind, men stand alone and must focus on achieving what theyve set out to accomplish to a larger degree so often they other people are a distraction

[provokeesmokee]

That's really sad, and I don't disagree. It's another way in which toxic masculinity and the typical patriarchy hurts men more than helps them.

The men I know in my life have built their support networks through their difficult times, and these networks help support them.

It's something many of us, even women, have to do.

Friendships and support networks don't exist without work and maintenance.

[SquishyBuns2628]

Glad for the honesty but if a guy told me during my single years; I'd be like what the fuck... and then ask how lonely? Like you wanna fuck lonely or you wanna cuddle then fuck?


But I'm single no more lol I can't do this.

[lightbulb27]

being weak with a woman is bad and negative weak is really bad, being vulnerable is good.

[Asker]

how a guy learn to be be vulnerable?

[lightbulb27]

Practice in front of mirror, practice being vulnerable at church, like with God/Jesus, practice talking to women, watch videos, read books on how to do.
Build your confident inner man, so that you don't need her but you want her. build your self esteem, confidence.
read books on these subjects and watch videos.
it's a process of inner discovery and healing.

[Ms_Facesitter]

It could come off as a bit desperate and I don't want to be just a number, where you go "who ever says yes is ok"

[Momma-404]

I mean.. extra points for honesty but I can’t see that necessarily going over well

[LiamJHayden]

What would it accomplish? She might feel sorry for you, generally not a good basis for a healthy potential relationship. Or if she is shady she might see it as a way to manipulate you.

[leahzrc]

if a guy tells me he is lonely, I believe he is just using me

[love_conquers_lust]

You can. It will probably be redundant because they may already know. That's why you shouldn't focus on whether you should express it or not.

[Anonymous]

Never show weakness around a girl. They will use it against you.

[BLKemperordrizzy90]

Depends on the women you tell, although most of the time she'll find a way to turn it around you later on during a argument.

[Asker]

i just tend to say whats on my mind i guess i have to teach myself not to

[JustMeQ2]

Asker. If you find a good book on this, share it with the rest of us.😅

[Starrrboy]

Yeah.. she'll think he's insecure and needy..

[Hellraiser1984]

No. It shouldn't be. If she freaks out about it she's a shallow bitc# and not worth it.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your not fixing your problems I recommend prayer and a hobby. You want to have your own life. There’s a guy who does this to my sister and it annoy me because she has her own goals and could be holding her back.

[Longshanks1968]

Skip the prayers, if you already feel lonely then talking to imaginary fairy tale people isn't gonna help at all.
The hobby thing is a great idea but rarely does it cure loneliness

[Anonymous]

Yeah, showing weakness isn't conducive to the longevity of relationships be they friendly or of an intimate nature

[Carina0]

No there's nothing wrong with that

[Asker]

i have been told at work by a few guys that it would make me look weak

[Carina0]

There is nothing more lame than a man who is afraid of being weak and tries to portray himself as a bully. I suggest you ignore what they say. Feeling alone is a very human emotion and if you want to tell someone about it, you don't have to be afraid of your feelings.

[Asker]

not sure how i would even tell her i'm lonely

[justabuddy]

I think it depends on the girl

[Slim57]

Most of the time yes

[Jmmmfi4]

PROBABLY