If a guy says to you when you ask him why he’s single ‘well I’m really happy why would I change my life’ ?

[Finfin1981]

Is this a red flag? We had a discussion about dating and when I asked him about why someone like him would be single (he’s literally gorgeous , kind, intelligent …. ) he said well why would I change my life when I’m so happy..

Should I give him a wide berth? Thanks

Updates

+1 y

He’s really flirty with me though - had a tough breakup so maybe that’s why?

[Finchie40]

Mainly because after we had our heart shit on by a girl that we gave our heart to , it’s hard for us to trust again, right away , we tend to just stay single and focus on ourselves and feel we are better off staying single and not dealing with another heart break or drama by pursuing another relationship with a right away. We tend to try to play our cards right when it comes to meeting another girl that is showing interest in us, After my ex cheated on me and destroyed our marriage , It took me a long time to even consider a relationship again , I now have walls up protecting my heart because I do not want to experience that heart break again ,

[Finfin1981]

Completely agree same for me snd dipping my toe in gently but I have walls around my heart too hoping the right person will be able to break disc the walls. So I see where hr is coming from.. Hoping time will heal and maybe he will look to see that single is great but being with the right person is better !!

[Finchie40]

Yes , for him to be able to have trust in a girl again is definitely going to take some time on her part, if she really likes him and wants to be with him , she will have to climb some walls or try to break them down , the best way for her to do that is to just be honest and loyal to him , prove to him that you only want him any no one else , make him your top priority and treat him how you would want to be treated , and in a matter of time he should feel comfortable and start having trust in you , if you do that for him , Now the time it takes him to feel that way again , I can’t really put a time limit on it , that comes down to him , but don’t waste your time as well, if he is taking a long time to decide and it seems to you he is weighing his options , make sure he makes you a priority as well. My advice to a girl that is really
Interested or really Likes a guy is to give him consistent intimacy and affection , Guy’s want a girl that wants him sexually , that doesn’t make him feel he needs To earn it , sadly girls’ do that to guys’ and girls’ wonder why they get cheated on or left for someone else , A guy doesn’t want to beg for intimacy and affection period, When a guy feels he has to start begging for intimacy and affection , he will more than likely take the girl that isn’t making him beg. Girls’ don’t realize by her doing that makes him feel she is getting it elsewhere or Lahr is losing interest in him , So rock his world consistently trust me
Lol

[Avicenna]

I think you need to talk to him some more about his expectations and what he wants to achieve so that you have a complete understanding. A woman once told me all she wanted was a friends with benefits who she could also bring as a date to parties or other social events because she liked having her solitude most of the time and didn't want to deal with a guy's issues, whatever they might be. Whatever I thought of that, it was clear what she wanted and why.

[kylee2437]

100% a red flag. 1. I would’ve followed that question with “what are your intentions with me”


2. The idea that he’s very narrow minded when it comes to the idea of change suggests to me that if you ever brought up a boundary of yours , he would very little want to work on it and solve issues because how he does things makes him happy

[IslaTheWitch]

Flirting doesn't mean longing for a relationship. It means flirting and fun. Take your share in this fun and don't expect anything.

[Tim2nice]

She wants marriage and children though

[IslaTheWitch]

@Tim2nice but he doesn't and set his line very clearly

[Tim2nice]

I know but this woman has so much trouble finding a man. We have to help her. Unfortunately I’m in Europe and married. She’s very beautiful, loving and kind, but can’t get a husband if the future of the planet depended on it.

[IslaTheWitch]

@Tim2nice I'm also in Europe and have definitely wrong gender :D

[Steelcore5280]

He answered your question clearly and honestly, and you're somehow still confused by his response?

You ever think that he's been burned by enough women in his life that he's simply uninterested in having that carousel continue? Because I'm in his boat. I've been burned by enough women that I'm not very interested in relationships and dating. Why would I wanna add a liability to my life?

[rigmarole]

What is ii a red flag that he doesn't want to be miserable... You: Look him, just sitting there being happy smiling and shit. I have to ruin him.

[rigmarole]

*it...

[kylee2437]

Or more so she’s looking for something serious and he has a very unserious mindset.

[rigmarole]

@kylee2437 He's seriously happy. You can't get more serious than that about life.

[kylee2437]

@rigmarole a person that pretends to want to date someone but slowly tells on themselves about wanting only sex is not serious about life and often has issues with being honest and self aware but 🤷🏻‍♀️

[rigmarole]

@kylee2437 He's not pretending anything. He's openly saying he's happy with how his life is running at the moment. He doesn't see the need to change anything right now. In time he might want to form a long lasting relationship, but it's not what he wants right now. Even if he were to do that he might be the type of person that will never want to be married and he might never want to have kids. It's not a game, he's just setting his boundaries and being honest with her about what he wants with her.

[kylee2437]

@rigmarole and how much you want to her he’s still entertaining her after it’s clear what she wants lol he wants to fuck but didn’t quite mention it there, did he?

[rigmarole]

@kylee2437 It would be a game if he got her to talk about her desires while keeping his hidden, and then he played on those desires by telling her what she wants to hear to manipulate her emotions. Then she'd be lead on for as long as he wanted to fuck, all the while thinking a great relationship was forming until he got bored of her or had too many other women on the side to juggle so he let her down and got rid of her.

[rigmarole]

@kylee2437 If she's not OK with what he wants, she just has to say no thanks and walk away.

[PLAYBOYGOTCOINS]

Facts

[NathanDavis]

you could see it as in indication that he prefers to remain single... and, that's it

or, if you want to know some more... you could go with a follow-up question and ask him if he would consider a relationship sometime in the future...

[serious]

I think his answer is fine. He seems to be single by choice and he is happy. Where is the red flag here?

Perhaps your are over analysing things

[Joshydavid25]

"had a tough breakup so maybe that’s why?"

That's all I needed to see.. Of course he's not in a hurry to get into a new relationship.. He probably feels like he found some peace.. But of course he's still attracted to people..

[Fireguy17]

He doesn't seem like he is interested in being in a relationship.
I went through a fairly long period of time like that.
It was easy getting laid, but that was all I wanted.
Then I met someone who changed my mind.
It can happen.

[Juxtapose]

He's certainly not wrong. Name a time in your life where the tranquility of solitude was actually bettered by a relationship..

Relationships bring drama and people have no commitment or loyalty anymore.

[Unit1]

As bitter as this sounds it has some truth to it admittedly.

"Name a time in your life where the tranquility of solitude was actually bettered by a relationship"

You raise an excellent point with this statement. I've only seen it once and it is online only. Here it is. See my opinion about it.

Guys, does a girlfriend who suddenly never has anything to talk about/joke about make you bored and lose interest? ↗

[Ekvark]

Please don't continue this trend of thinking people being happy with their life is a 'red flag'
life isn't a simple black and white thing

[DextroShade]

Obviously he isn't looking for a relationship at this point in his life. Considering the modern dating scene where most women are recreational use only at best I can't say I blame him.

[Blueeyes81]

Look at this way. If you are happy you only want to bring more happiness. If a woman doesn't add to his life why would he date her.

[AmeerX]

He is probably going to keep you for friendship and secret relationship but not wife. Don't be fooled if a guy says something like that

[Jamie05rhs]

"had a tough breakup so maybe that's why"
☝️

[KrakenAttackin]

😂😂😂😂. You don't realize you are being blown off.

[Still-alive]

Sounds like he isn’t interested. I wouldn’t say red flag though

[MaxUsefull]

but for men being single is much better (not that I think that's right)

[OlderAndWiser]

Does he date? Have sexual relationships?

[OlderAndWiser]

So he's happy not being married but he dates and wants a partner for sex. Are you interested in taking that position?

[collie22]

I don't know maybe. Or he might be the one

[eagle1951]

he's just looking for a good time

[Alex8736]

Or he might be gay