Why do guys not reply to messages if youve been getting along with a girl irl?

[Monalisa77]

Make it make sense

Updates

+1 y

If he thought i didn't like him, would he think it wouldn't matter to me that much if he didn't respond?

Updates

+1 y

Everyone i know who knows him says how nice he is and it was fine for me to message him, even if there was no romantic interest on either side it just makes no sense, unless he really doesn't do anything like this at all, which would explain why he's single lol but then how does he keep in touch with people

Updates

+1 y

I put pics up from Christmas weej on my stories, his brothers mate has viewed them wtf?

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+1 y

I think he seen it but didn't open it, does this mean he doesn't want to talk to me?

[Fireguy17]

I know I respond when I am able to.
I may not be able to because I'm on a call, or butt deep in car parts or just didn't hear the phone.
It happens, some people like me don't live with the phone in my hand, but I will respond when I can.

[Monalisa77]

Would u reply after a weekend? I sent it on Friday night

[Fireguy17]

Long before that, I was talking about maybe a couple 2, 3 hours.
If I was going to be gone for days, but usually you still have cell reception I would send a message that I won't be able to call or text for x amount of time.
It would be the polite thing to do.

[Monalisa77]

he's a dr and he couldn't come to the events i see him at on Friday, so i thought he might have been working sat3too, esp as covid is going up. But still nothing now and not even rea dit. Dimple explanation is he barely uses whatsapp and doesn't have his notification turned on

[Monalisa77]

Cos its so strange y he wouldn't reply

[Monalisa77]

Sorry for the typos

[Fireguy17]

Doctors can get really busy quickly and everything can go down hill quickly.
I can understand the not checking the phone very often he probably has 2 of them.
But still it would be nice to say something, sorry just too busy right now.
You will have to talk to him.
Only he knows, I'm just guessing.
When I say talk either a real conversation on the phone or face to face.

[Monalisa77]

I won't see him till dec 29th (if then, he might not go cos its a charity one) , maybe if he's free over Christmas he might see it then, but its annoying cos there might b a sinple explanation but i can't keep letting it get to me cos its affectibg my skeep n making me stressed:(

[Fireguy17]

Those are always tough decisions to make.
It all comes down to what you will and won't accept.
Good luck with your decision.

[Monalisa77]

See update

[OlderAndWiser]

If you are trying to develop a relationship with a guy, why are you relying on texting rather than actually talking on the phone? Texting is a HORRIBLE way to communicate.

[Monalisa77]

I got their number from s group. And he's a v private and busy person. I've only met him 4 times

[OlderAndWiser]

So what? If he is interested in you, he should find a few minutes to talk on the phone. Unless he is the president of the US, he is not THAT busy.

In my experience, young people rely on texting because it is less threatening to people who lack self-confidence.

[Monalisa77]

He was too busy to come to the event on Friday, maybe he's moved on and i left it too late.

[Monalisa77]

He doesn't use social media at all, so there's a chance he barely uses whatsapp either. The message got sent, i dont think he's tech savvy tho so its odd why he's not read it

[OlderAndWiser]

You don't need to be tech savvy to answer a phone call.

[Monalisa77]

Ik, i meant about whatsapp. But i dont feel confident to call him, like i said i feel it would b envading (not sure if thats the right word) his privacy that i took it from the group chat

[OlderAndWiser]

If he is interested, he WANTS you to invade his privacy. If he isn't interested, he can simply choose to not answer the phone call.

If you don't want to talk to him, don't do it. That's your choice.

[Monalisa77]

I dont k ow if he's interested tho? he's never said that irl, all he did was stroke my hand, flirt and stare (which im pretty sure he did, there could be other reasons why he behaved like that?) so i call him what do i say? I just think id be embarrassing myself

[OlderAndWiser]

You call and you say, "I really enjoyed spending time together last Friday night [whenever it was.] I was wondering if you might like to meet for dinner next Saturday night."

[Monalisa77]

Lol it was two months ago, and we meet at an event to play cards. 1) i dont eat well in public and 2) im away this weekend and can't really do next weekend and 3) what on earth do i tell my mother? (who would have to drive me)

[OlderAndWiser]

You are 35 years old and are that dependent on your mother?

Dinner is only one idea for a get together. You could suggest meeting for a cup of coffee, or a walk in the park.

[Monalisa77]

Well i can't drive due to having tinnitus and other issues so yeah

[Anonymous]

Me 2 girl.


But don’t message him back. Don’t beg for a guy who doesn’t want you, sorry.

[Monalisa77]

He seemed like he really did like me irl. He was staring at me from the side when he was inches away and flirting with me. It makes no sense?

[Monalisa77]

If he wasn't interested anymorr, he could do the decent thing and reply to tell me so. And if he was never intended, we at least got along fine chatting like normal. Just to say thanks for the message, whys that so hard? Everyone aays how nice he is

[Opinion Owner]

People just ghost, dawg. It has nothing to do with you as a person, but them not being able to communicate.

A guy I've been talking to hasn't messaged me either but idgaf anymore. Like I said, a reflection of them

[Monalisa77]

But what if when i see him again and he acts exactly as he did before?

[Monalisa77]

Also, how could someone in a high profession and who is talkative with everyone njot be able to communicate. Seems really lame

[Monalisa77]

See update

[NathanDavis]

my best "in real" friends also do the same to me sometimes...

a couple of them, they just won't reply to my texts in ages... lmfao

but in person, different story... we grew up like that, with no smartphones, lol

[Monalisa77]

But what if u haven't seen them in ages and are just starting out

[NathanDavis]

hmm, with someone newer I just met? I have not that happen to be so far...

[Monalisa77]

Yeah, like u hadn't planned to hang out or anything. I mean, he seemed to like me a lot, its weird

[spartan55]

For the 50 millionth time: guys don't value texting like girls do. In fact, most of us can't stand it. We tolerate it

[Monalisa77]

But for someone who u haven't seen in ages? Then he could call me if he wanted to?

[spartan55]

And you could call him too.

[Monalisa77]

But we don't really know each other outside of the event we go to.. And i wouldn't know when he's free

[Monalisa77]

And plus i get v emotional so id end up sounding a mess on the phone, i prefer texting

[Monalisa77]

I only got his number thro the group chat. I feel like id be evading his privacy y claling

[spartan55]

Wow, you have all sorts of bullshit excuses.

[Monalisa77]

Its not, he's v private not even on socials. And im this close to ending my life, hows that an excuse?

[spartan55]

Huh? Where is that coming from?

[Monalisa77]

Cos im depressed the weekend plans didn't work out and i dobt see him till next yr, and my mums being a nasty cow to me despite knowing thie

[spartan55]

What weekend plans?

[Monalisa77]

To get a date with him

[Monalisa77]

Read my previous qs

[Monalisa77]

Would u want some girl uve barely spoken to crying down the phone to u?

[Monalisa77]

Baring in mind he's a dr.. I highly doubt he wants that

[spartan55]

Okay, why would you be crying? What does him being a doctor have to do with it?

[Monalisa77]

Im crying a lot atm cos the weekend didn't work out, and i generally get emotional over little things. I left the group cos of someone else i believe was picking on me but other people said i was over reacting.. He listens to people moaning about their health all week, he's not gonna want to hear it from me down the phone lol

[Monalisa77]

I only realized i really liked him when he wasn't at the event last month , i barely reacted to him staring & flirting with me due to multiple reasons.. i mean the first time He turned round and looked at me, what if id said something to him? He knows I've got issues. Just doesn't make sense y he wouldn't respond

[spartan55]

What was your message to him?

[Monalisa77]

It was just a basic message saying hi and that i likely won't see him again till the new yr.(not in those many words but pretty much the jist)

I didn't wan tto make it too long or come across as i was interested in him, just incase there was a slim. Chance i read his signals wrong or he had moved on

But there's not even blue ticks on it, but i think he's got his read receipts off

[Monalisa77]

Plus,, people who know me keep saying he's just being nice? if he was why wouldn't he respond?

[spartan55]

Why do girls think they can never act interested? It's so stupid.

[Monalisa77]

Incase i read his signals wrong and or he thinks he can take advantage.. I've got people saying to me he's only being nice. I dont want to embarrass myself

[spartan55]

I don't know what you mean by read receipts and blue ticks...🙄

[Monalisa77]

I had planned to give him. A v big hint i liked him on Friday, had just gotten my hair cut and made it look different, people noticed it that jt looked diff. I was hoping hed have noticed it and wondered if me doing that and kinda dressing different wouldve made it obvious, and then hed had asked me out as im not doing the asking

[Monalisa77]

Whatsapp

[spartan55]

Take advantage? Smh... dont ever expect a guy to stay interested if you are going to act indifferent.

[Monalisa77]

Im vulnerable, its one of the reasons my parents act that peotective, i wouldn't be allowed to go of with a stranger. I wouldn't be strong enough to fight them off if they sexually abused me (and him being a dr doesn't gice him a free pass)

[spartan55]

Okay...

[Monalisa77]

I've only seen him in person 4 times. April, may, aug and September. We spoke v friendly when we first met and tbe flirting started in aug, he carried it on in sept but i didn't react then. How am i suposed to figure out im interested in those two meetings

[Monalisa77]

Esp when he knows im vulnerable? Makes no sense

[spartan55]

So you are upset about a date that was not even set up?

[Monalisa77]

I was al ready to et him see i was interested on Friday, i was expecting him to maybe not even be abe to do Saturday as it was short notice but at least we couldve got talking outside the event, plus him not replying and the way my other has been.. i likely won't c him till the new yr so it looks like I've to put al my effort now to moving on, without any closure again

[Monalisa77]

*mother

[spartan55]

You are expecting him to know you are interested when you shown zero interest. Guaranteed fail.

[Monalisa77]

He really acted like he liked me and would b up to at least talking outside the event, even my cousin whos known him since birth was confused by his actions

[Monalisa77]

I said i was on Friday, i changed my hair n was wearing diff clothes n was going to hint id b on my own on Saturday n would he b up to keep me company, how am i suposed to know if i like someone or can trust them just cos they flutter theyre eyes n stare at me? there's a small chance i may have read the signal s wrong too

[spartan55]

No offense, but your plan to let him know you are interested wouldn't have worked.

[Monalisa77]

He had a chance to sit beside me too but he didn't. All he did was flirt stare and say a few words, even my mother told me not to embarrass myself

[Monalisa77]

Why not? I had a lot of other stuff i was going to use to flirt with him too

[Monalisa77]

I've never had a boyfriend be4 n people dont usually act like the way he did, i was in shock, literally just couldn't move when he was doing it, was so confused even when i said i was cold after he said hello he still did all that? I kept thinking he was using me for some reason

[Monalisa77]

N at the time when he was fluttering his eyes with his mouth open on the same table, i wasn't sure if he was flirting because as i sa3, guys dont flirt with me and people say i over react. Even my cousin pretty much said no guy will ever want to b near u

[Monalisa77]

My mother said no such person existed

[spartan55]

It sounds like you need to sort some things out before you decide to date.

[Monalisa77]

I think getting one date alone will solve. Lot of issue my mind is going into overdrive luntill i experience it for real it won't stop and its making me frustrate. I crave affection

[spartan55]

You've never been on a date?

[Monalisa77]

Nope.. Unless u count playdates. Just made another post on my ac

[spartan55]

Could I ask why? At your age that's very unusual.

[Monalisa77]

Bullied in school/college, shy, maturity issues, boys tended to laugh at me infront of their mates. Use me for some reason or other, when i left college i got tinnitus which affected my sleep and so my life prett much a disaster from my 20s-30s. Once i started being able to live normally, covid hit. And things just keep going wrong for me, plus generally home life is shite.

[Monalisa77]

I dont wear any make up either and i struggle with my teeth, plus got skin issues

[Monalisa77]

And as it is its not like i dont try. I message the guys i like but they dont reply. I xant use dating apps as theyd be total strangers to me

[spartan55]

Wow, sorry to hear all of that. Is that where your ears are constantly ringing?

[Monalisa77]

Yup, i get them cleaned out at the hospital every few months so im going on weds. Huh maybe ill bump into him😂(dont even know if thats the hospital he works at) plus now i got vertigo too

[spartan55]

What do you mean, clean them out?

[Monalisa77]

Like syringed

[love_conquers_lust]

Happens with my family all the time. What’s better than face to face interaction?

[Monalisa77]

Well yes, if he actually came to the event i seen him at

[Jennz6]

Don’t talk to him

[Monalisa77]

Yeh im considering not to if i see him again

[Jennz6]

Good for you!

[ThrillSeeker01]

They might be distracted...

[Monalisa77]

Its been a whole weekend

[ThrillSeeker01]

That's too long. Inconsiderate

[Monalisa77]

It says in the chat that i opened it at the end of aug, do u think i took too long to actually send him one?

[ThrillSeeker01]

No, that's fine. No matter what, he should have texted you.

[Monalisa77]

Its a little strange y there seems to be no activity. He doesn't use social media at all

[ThrillSeeker01]

Maybe he's doing other things, so he's distracted