How can I know my boyfriend just uses me?

[Anonymous]

Sometimes i feel like he is not honest 100% and he just with me so he can get things from me but again i know there is no other people who can help him out in some areas, only me.

I have this gut feeling but i cannot put it into words

How can i know im being used

[smne35]

Never settle for less, if you feel it in you that he's not true to you, then trust your instincts and what and how you handle it is your call, if you in a relationship it should be with one who is committed to you because you only one they need, now if you call or text him and he's late in responding and or is short with you when he does he's probably not being faithful, you plan to go out, and at last second he cancels, yup he is, you don't need anyone to tell you if he is or not you know, just trust your self have no doubts about listening to your inner self

[Asker]

He is weird!
Look , last weekend he had a dinner with his bosses (one of the bosses was retiring)

3 days before that i asked if we meeting this weekend.
He said he cannot because he has a comittment with his boss.
When i asked where will they go
He said: "I dont even know because im not sure im going, i didn't tell him yet im going"
So im like:..."but you just said you have a committment and We cannot meet.
Now you say you dont know if you go?"
He was mad... made a mad face and mumnbled something. didn't say anything clear at my comment.

We bought some food, went home.
There again we started talking about the weekend.
I was like (being sly lol)
"Babe i can give you a lift there if you want (he has no car)
And he goes: "yeah... we could spend some time together before the dinner, it starts at 9 p. m."
So as we did: I came we had good time, had sex and then i left him with his bosses.

I dont get why 3 days before he went all mysterious trying to cancel me
Like wtf was that.
Why?

[Starrrboy]

If you feel it, it's true...

[MissStrawberry912]

Have a heart to heart talk about your concerns and what can he can do to make you feel love. Find out what’s both of your love languages and how can you guys meet each others love languages. But also don’t be with someone because you feel guilty and a fixer.

ask yourself why you suspect dishonesty/being used, is it triggers or is it facts? If you know you for sure you can’t trust him and he is using you, it’s time to move on.

[IslaTheWitch]

Those are your thoughts and feelings.

And what are facts? Do they confirm your thoughts and feelings?

If not, did you try to talk to him about your doubts and fears?

[Asker]

Last thing he said he wants quality time with me
He talks on the phone after work for like 2 hours with me
About all kinds of topics nesrly every day

[IslaTheWitch]

So, what is it, that makes you worry?

[Asker]

I can't explain

[Asker]

I dont feel he is crazy in love willing to do everything for me
I dont fell that from him

[IslaTheWitch]

I think, it's good he isn't. It would be creepy. He spends two hours daily talking with you... It's a lot of effort I would say...

[rosemilk]

i really think you should bring up this concern with him. it's important to not feel like you're being used in a relationship and you deserve to have reassurance

[OlderAndWiser]

What is he using you for? How long have you been together? Do you have an agreement to be monogamous and exclusive with each other?

[Asker]

Drive him to places since he has no car
Help him with some documents etc

[Asker]

He calls me for that
Not for hanging out or for a dinner

[Asker]

We do have dinners and all that but its 90% the days when he needs smth so i go meet him for that

[OlderAndWiser]

So this is not a romantic/sexual relationship? Does he ever do anything to express gratitude for you?

[Asker]

Yes we do have sex
Gratitude
He invites me to have dinner

[Asker]

Once he said one day ill buy you a flower
And bought it
10 bucks flower
I dont even know why he said it in the first place

[Asker]

I mean didn't buy it sorry
He didn't buy it

[OlderAndWiser]

How long has this been going on, and why are you still with him?

[Asker]

2.6 years

[OlderAndWiser]

If you don't feel appreciated and aren't satisfied, why haven't you ended it?

[Asker]

I dont want to be on my own
And i like him

[Asker]

Appreciated i kinda feel becaue he says he values me

[OlderAndWiser]

Is that enough for you for the REST OF YOUR LIFE?

[Asker]

No
Thats why im confused
What things a man does when he appreciates his woman
? give me examples
And i say if he does it or not

[AndrewAzul]

Is he more attractive than you or something, if he is, he's using his leverage to get things from you. That's just how the meta works

[OlderAndWiser]

It doesn't matter what other guys do to make a woman feel appreciated. You know what he does and you say that isn't enough. You cave no reason to expect him to change and get better for you.

You don't want to be alone and you like him. You are far from having the ingredients of a good relationship; that requires love, lust, respect, and trust.

[Asker]

@AndrewAzul no im the hottest one
He was actually hitting on me hard for 2 years, wheb we worked together
He said im the most difficult girl he ever had, im a challenge and made him work hard to get my attention and only after 2 years i went on a 1st date with him

[Asker]

We do have all that

[jahaims]

With common sense and factual things that happen in reality and not off of guy feelings that are really just insecurities. Does he always take more than he gives. Does he do thing that shows that he cares. Actions speak louder than words.

[Asker]

I do stuff that show i care
He... i dont even know what he does for me
Pay dinners sometimes, invite me for a coffee... sometimes says cute lovey things
Oh well, ok last time he said that instead od 4 i should get 10 orgasms

[FreyaRed]

I assure, it will escalate quickly when you say few times 'no'

[Asker]

I must do that

[midnightmoon05]

Can you see yourself with someone like this?
you also need to work on how to communicate.

[JacobJordan]

some small things you can do to confirm outside just asking are ask him to do something for you. generally user friendly people will not be reciprocal when it comes to doing things.

[Daniela1982]

What does your gut tell you? I mean besides you shouldn't have had so much hot sauce on your fries. Your gut feeling is right most of the time.

[Cute_potato01]

If ur suspect something then find out. Would u rather live with suspensions or facts

[Tharithi]

What benefits do u offer. And is there a chance he’s using you as rebound

[Asker]

What is rebound?
Drive him to places help with some documents etc

[Tharithi]

Rebound is a distraction used for getting over his actual crush , ex girlfriend. To make her jealous. And all that

[Asker]

I dont think that
He liked me before they split up
He has no contact with her

[Asker]

He actually prefers her not to kno he has girlfriend

[Asker]

She is crazy, heroin addict

[Tharithi]

Lol u sound jealous. I think my guess is right

[Sonjita]

Yeah you are right

[Grond21]

Based on your comments, you have never learned to recognize a healthy relationship. Do you have YouTube?

[AmeerX]

How are you being used? Like do you pay his bills or something?

And tell him to marry you and have children and see the magic

[ThrillSeeker01]

If he likes you he'll spend a lot of his time with you.

[Asker]

He says he likes his soace and tine with frinds too since his ex never let him out and got mad even when he had a drink with friends
How much is lots of time or enough time?

[ThrillSeeker01]

Like maybe a few days

[Asker]

We talk everyday after his work for like 2 -3 hours
We send have a good day and good morning everyday
Also i spend maybe 1 day in the middle of the week
And sometimes weekend or just Sunday

[ThrillSeeker01]

But I think you should have more time

[Asker]

But he works 10 hours

[ThrillSeeker01]

Wow, that's long. But he should make more time for you, maybe

[Asker]

Well yeah
He should
But he has mood swings ex drug addict health issues you name it
Aways tired and depressed

[ThrillSeeker01]

Ohh. That could definitely cause issues

[Asker]

I start to careless everytime
He acts not interested in me any. more
He will lose me eventually

[ThrillSeeker01]

That's a smart move. Like you need to find someone who will be there for you

[Anonymous]

Doubts & overthinking kill everything...
Just talk to him n clear the doubts

[Asker]

Oh yeah? how
Hey are you using me?
I cannot say that, can i

[Opinion Owner]

"I think you don't love me at all you're just using me for your needs " am I right?

[Asker]

Thats too harsh

[Opinion Owner]

Nope you can ask him with slightly joking voice... lol 😂

[Asker]

What else i can ask

[Opinion Owner]

Talk to him straight lol
Start with "from last few days something bother me can I share with you it's about us n please listen me out n don't get mad" ? 😂

[midnightmoon05]

Communication is key 👍

[Opinion Owner]

Yes ma'am communication is bridge...

[JesseP1nk]

Its ok to help him. BUT he needs to help you too with things. Even with dishes or whatever.

[Anonymous]

I think you know the answer to your own question. Always trust your gut feeling!

[Wise4myage]

All he cares about is sex.

[Asker]

We spent 2 month with no sex

[DextroShade]

It's far more likely you are using him.

[Asker]

Me? what for?
I get nothing lol

[DextroShade]

Really, he doesn't do anything for you? He doesn't take you out on dates, buy you things, listen to you talk about your problems, etc?

[Asker]

Is this extra effort? this are normal things a man doea for his woman
He doesn't buy me jewelery or clothes
Or cosmetics

[Asker]

He asked... i was shy to tell him even tho i wanted it

[DextroShade]

You are obviously an entitled brat who doesn't appreciate him or the things he does for you.

[Asker]

He does nothing for me
Is too much what i just described really?
How lower can my standard go

[DextroShade]

You are here whining that he's not wasting money by buying you unnecessary jewelry, clothes, and make up. I don't know your man, but unless he's a murderer or something he deserves better than you.

[Asker]

I didn't say i want all that
I said i want more from him in general
Talk 3 h. Every day its not a damn relationship

[MaxUsefull]

If you have sex with him, he uses you

[Asker]

Not always

[MaxUsefull]

sex without marriage is just selfishness

[Monalisa77]

Wel then why is it right to say he's using her if u say its selfish.. Weird

[MaxUsefull]

@Monalisa77 apparently you have a problem with cognition 😂

[Monalisa77]

? Confused

[Asker]

@Monalisa77 wtf he even means lol

[Cheerfull009]

You want to help him so, not he, you are using him

[Asker]

Im not

[Cheerfull009]

Then quit