Why don't girls ever find any interest in at least giving me a chance?

[Anonymous]

I'm friendly and funny and very nice. People tell me all the time that I'm a surprisingly kind person. I'm honest. My IQ is in the genius category. I'm talented in many things. I get out often enough. I'm fun to talk to. I'm VERY loyal and trustworthy. I've never broken a promise or told a secret. I'm going to college and I have ambitions and goals in life that I'm working my ass off for. And I have plenty of friends - boys and girls alike.

But I'm 19-years-old and have never come close to having a girlfriend. It's pathetic, I know. Never. Not once. I've asked girls out, they always say no...

When I've asked for help with this online before, they told me that I was too ugly for one. And people I knew said that I was too ugly to get a girlfriend as well. I've always considered myself good-looking. Then when the comments started coming up. I started to hate the way I looked. I tried to kill myself once because I believed what those people were saying. No, I've never told anybody about it. Now, I'm starting to get over it, and I do think I'm at least average. I don't want to sound arrogant or vain. I'm sorry if it comes across that way. I'm just being honest. If you want to see for yourself, here are a few pictures that friends have taken for me:

(The black and white one was a friend of mine experimenting with the camera effects... You can tell that I wasn't too enthused lol).

By the way: I'm 5'8" and weigh 156 lbs. Average weight!

link

So, what's wrong with me? What is it that girls find so unattractive. I've been told several times that I'll die alone and miserable for several different reasons (ugly being the most common), but I don't want to believe any of them.

If there is something wrong, can you tell me how to fix it.

Maybe give me tips on how to find someone. I've tried online dating websites and nobody ever responds to me. I'm starting to think again that it is because I'm hideously ugly. Is that really the case?

And I know all about the confidence and self-security thing. I act very confident and secure in public. I talk to random people; I'm not one of those guys who finds a complete stranger and initiates conversations with them, but I'm sociable. I have a good dress sense and my hygiene is just fine! (somebody said that could be the problem once). I get out plenty and just hang around. I have college classes in which I socialize a bit.

But I'm just getting horribly depressed lately. It feels like I'll never find anyone. I know I'm young, but I feel as though I may as well be 60 or something. I know I'm making it off as if a girlfriend is something you just add a check mark to, but I realize it's not that. It's something more special, which makes it even worse. I'm just having trouble functioning in life because of this.

So I have a few questions: Am I too ugly for a girlfriend? What's keeping me from getting one? And are there any tips on how to get one?

[oOsweet~o~nessOo]

Are you too ugly for a girlfriend?

No, your pretty decent looking IMO

What's keeping you from getting one?

There's a multitude of things - for one, being nice isn't the deal maker - it's all the smaller underlying characteristics that can dictate more truthfully. Often the characteristics you fail to notice, or weren't even aware of. Maybe your nice, but sometimes you can be a little rude? Or maybe your too argumentative? Maybe you accidentally throw your genious in people's faces? Maybe you tend to be a little arrogant - could be anything honestly.

Or perhaps it's because you have standards - legit standards. It would make sense that someone who is nice, sociable, sweet, lovable, loyal, etc - just have quality, would want to seek quality as well. Perhaps subconciously, your not settling for a lot of girls because they don't adhere to your taste - and obviously your heart is in the right place, because you don't seem like the type to use.

The second thing working against you and it's the most suckiest one - is simply

Fate.

Fate / luck / circumstance, whatever you want to call it. The situation usually has to be just right for meeting someone; maybe you'll bump into her in a new class this year, or while your out picking up dorm goodies - who know's? It's all honestly a matter of chance - and that's the most irritating aspect because we can't do anything but wait for the moment to happen.

Lucky for you - your only 19; your still very young with several several years of meeting women. There's no time limit. I know society drills it into males that they need to have boundless amounts of women at their disposal, but that's the furthest from truth. Your fine how you are - your time will come, so honestly, don't stress about it.

Your definitely not the only person with this issue -

Several young lads and ladies our age struggle with this problem, probably because we're all still in the phase of figuring out who we really are, as well as what we really want in a partner - or trying to get over our own selfish impulsions.

As far as tips on how to get one -

Just stay a gentlemen, keep trying, and don't let it get ya down. Every girl is different, so there's no sure fire way to just be like do X, Y, and Z and BAM - every chick is yours. Women are inherently very picky and precise when determining a guy, so what one may deem likable, another may not.

So hang in there - don't let the loneliness and frustration depress you; I'm 18, never had a dude, and luck there is definitely not on my side :\

But then again - there are more important things to deal with anyway...

[naturaldisaster]

First of all you're not ugly at all, so don't listen to the stupid people telling you that you'll die alone, that is such nonsense. and people on sites telling you that you're ugly? seriously? why would you listen to these morons? I've seen like really hideous men dating beautiful girls, I don't know why but there's just something in ugly guys and TRUST ME you're not one of them. I'm not saying this to be nice.
Have confidence in yourself and listen to your heart and not what people tell you. Give it more time for you to get a girlfriend, don't rush love or liking someone. I don't know any tips, being in relationships came easy for me...i guess my best advice to you is

"you'll get it when you least expect it"...

and P.S you're not ugly, you're pretty handsome looking.

[snowwygirl]

haha don't worry I'm the same age as you and I've never had a boyfriend and I know a lot of people that are in similar situations so there's nothing wrong with you. You shouldn't be too worried about the way you look since you would want to find a girl that likes you for who you are as a person. If you have a great personality then you shouldn't be worried about not finding a girlfriend. Are you good at making conversations with girls? Maybe you need to approach girls more cause usually we're not the ones to make the first move. Sometimes a girl can like you and you don't even know it (:

[perfecshonisT]

Alright man its not worth killing yourself over, if I were you I wouldn't worry about looks. You shouldn't listen to the people that tell you your ugly, cause it doesn't matter there's someone out there for everyone. It takes patience, and time to find that someone, but you will eventually if you keep putting yourself out there. What it sounds like though is your very smart and people don't want you or anyone else being ahead of them(even though its inevitable) so they will find anything that they can to bring you down till they feel you are at your level or lower.
I don't know if you tell people how great you are all the time or even just a little but I know by experience that you sort of turn guys against you and even intimidate girls cause they don't feel smart. I think if you do talk all good about yourself a lot try being humble for awhile and see where that gets you.

[NerdInDenial]

You're not too ugly for a girlfriend. Maybe your standards are too high. Lots of girls are attracted to guys with nice bodies. You can try working out more. That will boost your self confidence. There are guys uglier than you with girls who are decent looking. It could be that you are looking for girls at the wrong places.

[louise111]

You are not ugly at all you seem like a really nice guy! I don't know however why people would say such mean things to you as I don't know you as a person, so I can't say what's keeping you fron getting a girlfriend!

The only advice I can give you is to just be yourself, treat girls with respect, get to know them and who they are, ask them questions about themselves eg, what kind of music their into, films etc.. what they do for a living.. simple things like that! It just takes a while to meet the right person, who will love you for who you are!

[Natalieee]

First of all , you need to stop selling yourself short, thinking your not worth it only makes people feel the same. Not every girl is going to fall for you. You just need to be yourself and you will eventually meet that certain someone. Who is anyone to sit there and call you ugly, which by the picture posted your not. You have to love yourself before anyone can love you.

[Anonymous]

You're not an ugly guy. You look like you're sad in your pictures. Your question kind of made me feel sad when I read it, if you feel badly about yourself then that is probably the biggest reason that keeps you from a relationship. It sounds like people may have said cruel things to you that made you doubt yourself. I know what that feels like too but you can't let ignorant mean words affect your life like that. They were just talking sh*t and being a**holes because you are not too ugly to get a girlfriend. Don't accept their cruelty as truth because you decide your own path in life.

[sunmonster]

First off, I'm fairly certain you are not a genius. I assume you took an online IQ test and those are extremely inaccurate.

Secondly, you are not unattractive. I know a lot of girls who don't care about appearance anyways- they look for the inner good.

The only advice I can give you is this:

You do sound slightly cocky when you talk, and girls don't like that. Also, never ask a girl about your appearance, you don't want to come across as needy. The only thing that is keeping you from getting a girlfriend is yourself. You just have to get out there and make some eye contact and wear a big smile.

[Asker]

I don't talk to myself, and it's nice to see a comment that opens up with an insult. No, it was a college test and I scored 143. So how about you stop acting like you know it all and assume that what I'm sharing is the truth, instead of making up sh*t and coming up with the solutions for them. I am not a cocky person in the slightest and don't assume I am.

P.S. I only get pissed off like this when people underhand me like you just did. Otherwise, I have a long fuse too.

[Asker]

I actually hate to talk about myself. I much prefer listening to others. And I make an effort to keep conversations away from me being the topic.

And what the Hell makes you question my intelligence anyway? What are the little indicators that I'm an idiot. I know you didn't say I'm stupid outright, but you damn know well that you implied it.

God people like you p*ss me off.

[sunmonster]

I don't understand why you felt the need to justify yourself. I never insulted you- nor did I imply that you were stupid. Most people I know who talk about their IQ generally have taken an online test. I did not insult you.

If you talk to girls like this, it's no surprise you do not have a girlfriend. Try taking a positive spin on things. Not once in my response did I attack you. I was trying to be helpful.

[brezzyjb]

Im just gonna say I'm sorry that anyone would make fun of you too the point were you tried to kill yourself and but I'm glad your getting over it, now I looked at your pictures and I see nothing wrong with them your a decent looking guy I would say your cute too. I would just say you haven't meant the right person yet, and trust me I know the feeling I'm 17 and never been in a relationship before, but don't look for them let them come to you it might sound stupid but maybe that's what stopping you from being in a relationship, don't be so eager.

[Anonymous]

you aren't ugly but you aren't the guy most girls would take a second look at sorry... but like everyone else is saying self confidence is good and to love who you are and your appearance is the first step in finding someone else to love.

i think you come across as TOO nice I mean not all girls like overlly nice guys, this day and age you need some bad boy about ya, you gotta make it hard for a girl to get you... girls like a chase we like a challenge. stop coming across as 'easy' or 'desperate' because in your qurestion that's the vibe I got.

you are young so take a chill pill on the relationship obsession itll come in time, you CANNOT force love as love is fate... and let fate work its magic... and IM POSITIVE you will find the girl of your dreams.

go out and enjoy life before its too late you work a 9-5 job have no time to be yourself and have a family to provide for.

goodluck :)

[Anonymous]

You probably act too shy, soft and maybe on the dorky side and girls aren't really attracted to this. As for your looks, you aren't a bad looking guy but not someone I'd be immediately attracted to. Women tend to go for a harder, more masculine type so I would suggest making the necessary changes

[Anonymous]

You're unstable, that's why. Your perception of yourself is up and down like a roller coaster. Figure out who you are and who you want to be, then make it happen. Don't live for other people's expectations. They won't be there when you are on your death bed.

[Anonymous]

I don't know why people said those things to you. I don't think your unattractive. I think you just haven't found the one. Find a girl that have the same interests as you, such as go places you really enjoy going and just talk to girls. I have the same issue but with guys, I don't find myself too unattractive and I've never had a boyfriend although my issue is that I'm shy. So if you have the ability and personality to actually talk to girls, then use it.

[Anonymous]

You need to bulk up. And grow out some facial hair as you tend to have a baby face. You'll be amazed at how much more attractive you'll become with those 2 changes.

[NonchalantBro]

get a gym membership and get buff- like right NOW!

-best advice ever

[Anonymous]

you look like a friend, not like a boyfriend no offense.

[Asker]

Is it because I'm ugly or something? Why?

[Anonymous]

Witchy women, see how high they fly, woo hoo, witchy women, they got the moon in their eyes.

[Habakkuk]

maybe it's the suicidal part

[cuteLiLbunny]

you just haven't met the girl yet