My friend distanced himself from me suddenly. How can I fix this?

[Ediaz0814]

[Hulk_kitty]

I suggest you leave him for a couple of week, he might be in absolute rage about the situation, when you are so angry, you don't think straight.

leave him alone for at least 2 week, and then try speak to him. Whenever someone is really upset or really angry, give them space for a while.

[Ediaz0814]

This happened about 5 weeks ago. But we still see each other at work and I still try to text him to work things out. Do you think im upsetting him more?

[Hulk_kitty]

Just leave him alone, he will come around he is own time, if truly values the relationship. You can't do anything if doesn't want to talk. Its very childish on his part, to completely cut you off like that, for the sake of a bit of drama, and didn't anything or weren't involved.

[Hulk_kitty]

or the other thing you can do, is send him a nice letter, and explain your position in the whole situation. and wait to see what happens

[Ediaz0814]

I have tried pouring my heart out in texts. Long ones. He just replies "no worries" or nothing back. It truly hurts.

[Hulk_kitty]

Unfortunately in this situation, take time to heal, and accept the situation and move on. Good friendships are always hard to let go. You can and will get over this friendship. But if you do decide to make this decision, then you can't go back, if suddenly wants to come back. Because he is not a true friend. And you don't want that heart break anymore.

I know how you feel, I lost a good friend over nothing, I tried my hardest, I just thought, not going to waste my time with him anymore, and start focusing on my own life, and other friends.

[Hulk_kitty]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-2SfWJYeNc

good advice from stallone. don't waste your time

[Ediaz0814]

So you think this friendship isn't able to be saved?

[Hulk_kitty]

I don't know anymore than you do. But stop wasting time trying to fix it. You can only keep reaching out to him, so many times. If you keep doing this, your only wasting your time and energy on him , when you could be focusing and doing other things with your life.

Yes it hurts, but you will keep hurting yourself, by trying to reach out to him all the time. Just leave it alone, and decide how much time, you are willing to give to come into your life, it could 3 months etc. If doesn't reach out to you after that, then completely move on from him

[Ediaz0814]

Thank you for the good advice

[Hulk_kitty]

I suggest for now, try and distract yourself from the situation, and find other friends to socialize in your time now. Stop focusing on the situation, it will make you unhappy and depressed. There is more to life than just one person.

[Hulk_kitty]

No worries, you will be fine. It will hurt for a while. but you will give it over eventually. Just focus on other things in your life, and keep yourself. Also find someone to talk to about it, that will help the healing process. don't bottle it up.

[Hulk_kitty]

Maintain a professional demeanor at work. Avoid gossiping or discussing the situation with other colleagues, as it may exacerbate the issue.

Remember that not all relationships can be fully repaired, but taking these steps can demonstrate your commitment to resolving conflicts and maintaining a positive work environment.

[Ediaz0814]

It has been very hard to be at work with him. Knowing how things are. That we no longer talk. It kills me

[Hulk_kitty]

It might be an option, to leave your job. It might be something you don't want to do. But you might be better in the long run for you.

[Hulk_kitty]

Maybe this is the perfect excuse for you now, to go and find a better job. fresh start, new life. Think positive.

[Hulk_kitty]

Turn your pain, into motivation. Use your pain wisely, and don't use it in destructive way.

[Hulk_kitty]

You might not be able to fix the friendship with him. But you can fix your future, you can only control yourself and your life, not others.

[Hulk_kitty]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SHHzUqVuwg
this video will help you, with relationships.

[boggboss]

U are gonna need to explain the context here

[Ediaz0814]

we work together and a friend of mine defended me when he was yelling about people getting a hold of me to get to him. She cussed him out. Before that, he and another friend made an inappropriate comment to me at work. Someone reported them. NOT ME. If anything I saved their jobs. But he won't talk to me anymore

[Ediaz0814]

We were beat friends for a year and a half. Then all of a sudden it's like I don't even exist

[boggboss]

I can see why he would cut you off unfortunately as it seems to be too much drama being friends with u because of these situations but equally that's the thing u are not in control of this stuff happening so how can u fix this

[Ediaz0814]

I don't know what to do

[boggboss]

Thats the thing tho I don't think u can do anything about it to be honest

[Billlewis]

Call him up and ask him.

[Ediaz0814]

He said there is drama that surrounds me. But I am not the one causing it. He won't give me the time of day to get him to understand

[Tharithi]

They distanced between u hurt them

[Ediaz0814]

@Tharithi other people caused drama between us. I didn't do it. How can I fix this?

[Tharithi]

What exactly happened

[Ediaz0814]

@Tharithi we work together and a friend of mine defended me when he was yelling about people getting a hold of me to get to him. She cussed him out. Before that, he and another friend made an inappropriate comment to me at work. Someone reported them. NOT ME. If anything I saved their jobs. But he won't talk to me anymore

[Tharithi]

Uhm ok. U seem like a fucking weakling

[Ediaz0814]

@Tharithi why world you say that?

[Ediaz0814]

@Tharithi why would you say that?

[Tharithi]

It’s irritating to befriend a wuss

[Ediaz0814]

@Tharithi you know nothing about me to say that

[Tharithi]

Your situation makes it clear

[Ediaz0814]

@Tharithi you are cold hearted. I'm looking for advice and you put me down?

[Tharithi]

I didn’t mean to. Just told what he felt

[Iron_Man]

By talking to him

[Ediaz0814]

He won't give me time to

[Iron_Man]

Find it

[Ediaz0814]

I texted him many times. The last thing he said to me was this "I've realized lots. I don't come to terms with who was behind it anymore. I'm sure you understand "

[Iron_Man]

What will you do next?

[Ediaz0814]

I don't know. What do you suggest?

[Iron_Man]

Keep trying

[Ediaz0814]

I feel after that last text he sent, he truly hates me and doesn't care about me anymore

[Iron_Man]

You have to decide how bad you want him if it’s worth pursuing or not

[Ediaz0814]

He means so much to me. If someone sent you that text, how would you take it?

[Iron_Man]

You better find ways to keep pursuing him then

[Ediaz0814]

How would you take that text if someone sent it to you?

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you ask him what it means

[Ediaz0814]

I did. He won't explain and just said it's his time now

[Iron_Man]

He seems very immature for somebody at your age I guess you’re gonna have to get to the bottom of it

[Ediaz0814]

He's 53 years old

[Iron_Man]

Very immature

[Ediaz0814]

Yes I didn't do anything wrong. Other people did yet he is taking out on me

[Iron_Man]

I’m sorry to hear that

[Ediaz0814]

Thank you. It just hurts so much.

[Iron_Man]

Yes I guess try your best

[Ediaz0814]

Thank you

[Iron_Man]

You’re welcome

[spartan55]

What did you do?

[spartan55]

Why would your friend cuss him out for something like that?

[Ediaz0814]

She cussed him out for yelling at me saying he had no right to do that since I'm not the one who did anything wrong. I guess he is upset about that

[spartan55]

So he was literally yelling at you because what? This all sounds so juvenile.

[Ediaz0814]

It's very juvenile. His lead at work texted me to tell him that after break he needs to come see her. I told him and he got mad. He doesn't want other people asking others about him. He would rather they go to him directly. He was yelling saying he is tired of people thinking we are always together. That's when my friend yelled at him.

[spartan55]

What a stupid ass thing to get mad at. I mean really? Now your friend should have stayed out of it. Even though you didn't directly cause the problem with him, the optics are bad.

[Ediaz0814]

That's what I feel. I don't understand how things got this bad

[spartan55]

Why would you want to be friends with someone who acted like that anyway?

[Ediaz0814]

We were best friends for a long time. He means a lot to me. I don't have many friends. Maybe you are right. Maybe I shouldn't want to still be friends with him

[spartan55]

I couldn't associate with people who act like that.. you know the old saying "you are judged by the company you keep"

[Ediaz0814]

I have heard that before. I just don't get how someone can treat another person like this

[spartan55]

He's showing you who he is.

[Ediaz0814]

For someone who literally had no family. His kids don't even talk to him. You would think he wouldn't treat other people this way

[spartan55]

He sounds like a real delight.

[Ediaz0814]

Yeah I guess you are making me look at things in a different light

[spartan55]

I know it's painful to lose a friend, but sometimes shit happens.

[Ediaz0814]

Yeah I just never had a good friend before like him. Others ruined it.