My friends and I (5 girls) have a male friend who we often hang out with. He has his own friends group obviously and we sometimes all go out together. Anyway his bestie attends at another school. I've never met his bestie ( along with 1 of my friends) but my 3 remaining friends are actually good friends with his bestie and he's apparently a popular and "really fun guy". Anyway so I finally get to meet Bestie on derby day (our schools' are rivals), we were heading to the after party. We're all walking together, he and I are next to each other. So since we didn't formally meet and exchange names, I think let me try to at least get his attention. We were all talking about football ( I think it's called soccer in America) and so I ask him what the full time score was, he looked at me and continued walking. I was left so confused and kept telling myself he probably didn't hear me. We meet again on a different occasion and he literally hugged every one of my friends and ignored me entirely ( I wasn't expecting a hug but at least some form of acknowledgement). He did it 3 more times after our second meeting. I tried to ignore it so much and justify his actions. It's a real trigger for me, not being acknowledged, I don't care if he doesn't like me but at least a nod or whatever. I've been dreading going anywhere he is and I hate that. Funnily enough I catch him looking at me during conversations or when the guys are on the other side of the house playing pool and he's there looking at me and quickly averts his eyes. So far I haven't met this awesome guy everyone talks about but a complete jerk. My friends speak so highly of him and at some point they had a crush on him. I spoke to my other friend about it ( who hasn't met him), she concluded that maybe he expected me to fall at his feet like everyone else. I'm really just venting and I need to know if my feelings are valid.
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Does he like me or am I being paranoid?
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Well, you can either be very direct about having a conversation or just return his energy. To an extent I’m the same way and not being acknowledged is just very rude and uncomfortable, especially when I’ve made an effort to interact with the person. Over the past couple years though I’ve been trying to work on not caring so much and just returning the energy they give. It’s easiest when you know you’ve done nothing to warrant being ignored, because then it’s like wtf? There’s absolutely no reason for you to feel bad. You have several other friends around, put your focus on them and stop worrying about this one person. Maybe one day he’ll get his ass off his shoulders and talk to you.
I'll definitely be returning the same energy and if we do speak, I'm happy with being cordial, I can't be friends with someone like that.
Good to hear! People like that come off as very childish and avoidant. You’ve given him zero reason to ignore you how he does so you should feel perfectly fine doing the same in return.
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