Why do guys become so mean to the girl when they break up?

[Anonymous]

I’m not asking for any personal reason, I’m genuinely just curious from a guy’s perspective.

I’m talking about (hypothetically) if the guy breaks up with her, and he becomes mean and rude towards her but still watches her social media posts and gets angry when she talks to a guy/guy friend.

[ProbablyClueless]

Some people are just controlling jerks. They're angry and hurting, and they want to make sure the other person feels that way too.

Sometimes that also happens if the guy feels like the woman did him dirty, or like she somehow exploited him. So seeing her do well without him feels like a slap in his face. I've dated women who literally could not handle the idea that I might doing fine without them. Like, they couldn't process the concept that someone they thought was a dysfunctional train wreck might not be as bad as they thought. I know for a fact that there are men who think the same way about women they've dated.

I think there are even other times when the guy's ego is hurt and he's trying to justify his decision to break up with her by making the situation as toxic as possible. Almost like a "do you SEE what kind of person I had to deal with?" so he can show the people in his life how bad it was to date her. This last one seems to be more something that women do, but I know some guys do it too.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

When I was in my early 20's this girl broke up with me and the situation really made me mad for a bunch of reasons ranging from the rejection, feeling inadequate, feeling like there was nothing I could have done to stop it from happening. I was mad at myself.

I never treated her wrong but I really, really wanted to badly. In fact, I wanted to take my anger out on practically every woman I came across for months until I read a book that got me out of that beta ass shit lol

[WhitneySnow]

He still wants her and he’s pissed at her. No clue why he broke up with her in the first place.

[RebelinSteel]

That tends to vary between people and also the reason for the break up. I tend to remain friendly with my ex’s, not full on friends but we can talk to each other without any problems. At a guess for some they still want the girl but don’t know how to back track and sort it out. A friend cheated on his girlfriend and she found out n broke it up, he gave her shit for it, we were lol mate you cheated, n he was like but she should not of ended it.

[Somoneelse]

I thik because deep down they are hurt by the breakup and can't stand not having the girl anymore. especially if the girl does the breakup. When a guy breaks up, its sometimes due to all the negative-feelings he had held back for a time, which then bursts out.

[msc545]

Men don't just break up with women for no reason. Most of the time women do the breaking up. On the few occasions, when men get angrier or fed up enough to do it, they usually are harboring months if not years of resentment. When they break up with a woman, those feelings all come to the surface and they feel much freer to express them and often do. This is why men become so different and less amiable after they have broken up with a woman.

[Jamie05rhs]

Because we let out all the stuff that we've been holding back.
You women don't realize the sheer amount of bullshit that we put up with from you people while keeping our mouths shut and not complaining. And we do that because we love you.

[AmeerX]

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[Jamie05rhs]

@AmeerX Hey, Ameer! If you're going to comment below my post, at least give me a "Like"! 😅

[Jamie05rhs]

But that's great news, brother! I'd love to hear about it! Send me a message.

[Massageman]

This was never true in my case - I got it the other way around when I was younger, but I didn't get jaded by it.

[aceleon]

i asume they didn't had that break up because they were super good with each other, what else do you expect them to do towards people they don't have good feelings for?

[PrincelyGlove]

Could be a lot of things..

Jealousy, Wanting control over them, Feeling insecure with choices.. etc

[TallAnon]

That's who they really are and how they treat people they don't want anything from (romantically/sexually). You simply never noticed because they were trying to butter you up.

[spartan55]

There is too much information missing to answer this. Not sure what looking at social media has to do with 'being mean'?

[BoopBoopBeep]

I've never been on bad terms with anyone after a breakup.

[catsmemoir]

I just stop talking to them. Delete them off any social media and move on. No reason to stick around after that.

[Anonymous]

For the same reason women do. I had a woman stalk me for two years afterwards.

[AmeerX]

What else are they going to do? Unless it's amicable it's what happens

[BarryLiverstone]

He is mean because he broke up with her and doesn’t want to encourage another relationship

[Dreamclouds]

Well depends on the amount of passion if its very intense it usually creates s chasm between the two so yeah

[888theGreat]

Depends on how they broke up.

[Zestyassmf1997]

People get sore when they lose things.

[californianjoe]

No they don't act like that

[nawtee_me]

Jealousy...