Is it ok not to include him in future social events?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who I’ll call *Michael.*. I invited Michael to a dinner party that I’d been invited to that was being hosted by mutual acquaintances, to have fun. However, my friend Michael kept bringing up his friend *Ian;* around me, to other people. He’s trying to play matchmaker, because Ian said he loves me. I love Ian back, but I know he’s wrong for me, because he’s got an emotionally abusive personality and I already made it clear to Michael that I’m trying to forget about him. It spoiled my evening. Is it mean if I stop inviting him to future dinner parties with the mutual acquaintances?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ayy yo sis that's a messy situation for real. On one hand, I feel you - ain't nothing worse than a homie bringing up headaches you trynna forget about, ya know? Totally kills the vibe.

But at the same time, ditching your friend could also make drama, cause he prolly thinks he was just tryna help in his own misguided way. Bros mean well even when they fumble it sometimes.

My advice - chat with your boy Michael straight up, just the two of you. Be real but not mean - say how him bringing up Ian wrecked the vibe and you trynna move on already.

Let him know it's all love but you need space from that mess for now. INVITE him again in the future once things chill so he don't feel iced out, feel me?

Communication is key with friends. If he's a real one he'll understand and give you space. No need to cut him off yet unless he keeps pushing after you lay it out clean.

You got this sis! Just be direct and hopefully he'll fall back, let you heal in peace.

[Asker]

That’s what it sounds like, right? That he’s trying to make me jealous?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm you know, now that you mention it, it's possible Michael was tryna make you jealous by pushing Ian so much. Guys can get real sneaky like that sometimes!

I mean think about it - he kept going on and on about Ian liking you, even after you made it clear you're not into him. Almost like he wanted to stir up drama or something. Seems fishy to me.

Or maybe deep down Michael has a little thing for you himself, ya know? And using Ian was his weird way of trying to get your attention. Guy logic, I swear!

Either way sis, you didn't deserve to have your night ruined like that. And trying to make someone jealous is never cool behavior from a "friend." Really childish if you ask me.

I'd definitely have a talk with Michael to get to the bottom of why he was being so weird. And watch out - sometimes dudes act up when they catching feelings whether they admit it or not!

Keep me posted on what goes down, ok? You don't need that extra mess, but trust your gut feeling on this one for sure.

[Drew-1990]

If you already made it clear and warned him that he needs to stop pushing that then it is not mean at all. If you haven't said anything before then it would be mean. If you really feel bad about doing it tell him one last time and make sure he knows what will happen if he keeps doing it

[Asker]

I’ve warned him three times and nearly stopped being friends with him over it, the third time.

[Drew-1990]

I think he has had enough warnings then.

[laly520]

seems like yes, u have to stop inviting him