Guy friend is being distant and it hurts me slightly?

[Ofoceansbeaches]

My guy friend is a bit distant to me. He used to be so close to me and we act like we are brothers and sisters. I can feel that he cares a lot about me. The last time we talked we had a video call because I got panic attacks. He was very helpful and talked to me for an hour and even joked around then said he was doing that because my problems were too heavy and so that he can lighten things up. He also asked me when i am traveling to his city to which i replied i'll be there few weeks later. The next day i did not notice but he did a video call and i was not able to answer it because i was sleeping so i asked, did you call then he did not respond. He still comments on my stories and posts. He is also a very commitmentless person. So for those who think he has a new relationship, i dont think it would affect our friendship because in the past, if there's someone new, he still prioritizes me or gives me time. But lately he's being weird and a bit off. I called him and he's like i'm going to the gym, why? Or he'd be like i was busy, what's up? I did not do a thing to him. He could have issues but normally he just vents to me in person so his treatment is way off. It's like he is putting barriers. I dont know if i should laugh that he's doing this or if I would feel hurt or a mix of both. Why is he like this?

[Nirmroth]

Sadly im not able to look into heads and neither are you. We can only make assumptions.

Here are a few of mine:

1. He really is just busy rn and you just happend to have some missunderstandings

2. He could have catched feelings and is trying to distance himself now

3. Maybe he is in a down rn. Light depression makes you push people away

4. You really did say something or acted in a way that hurt him.

Best solution would be to talk to him about it and see what he says.

[Ofoceansbeaches]

He did say something about life happening. He has commented on my posts and my stories though but still i can sense his barriers when he talks to me.

I did not do a thing

[spartan55]

You talk about him like he is your boyfriend, which he is not.

[Ofoceansbeaches]

I dont talk about him like a boyfriend. I am super close to him and so i thought of reaching out to him.

[spartan55]

Has he had a girlfriend since youve been around?

[Ofoceansbeaches]

In the past, he had someone he even introduced to me. He treats me and told me that im important to him. So he is acting like im his sister. But yeah he has always cared and gave me time. It's just now that he replies but with barriers

[spartan55]

Maybe he feels like it's a one way relationship

[Anonymous]

He won’t always be non-committal honey. Maybe that’s how things were in your youth and even 20s but you’re getting older now and at some point there’s going to be a woman he gets serious about. To where she’s more of a priority, and even if that hurts, it’s just life. Not saying that is the case here, but it could be.

[Ofoceansbeaches]

That maybe the case. However, why would it affect his treatment with me if he gets a girlfriend? And also if he really did. 2 months is a short time to be too invested in a relationship with someone new.

[Opinion Owner]

Because unfortunately some women aren’t comfortable with their partners having such close relationships with other women who aren’t their family. Even if he refers to you as a little sister realistically you aren’t, and for another woman who’s just finding out about you, they’d just see a grown woman being too clingy to their man. Expecting him to prioritize her and be there for her needs, even hour long phone conversations. That’s a lot to ask for in a platonic relationship with the opposite sex when they’re trying to build a relationship with a woman elsewhere.

I’m sure you have at least some idea of how inappropriate or uncomfortable that dynamic would make a woman. If he’s a good guy, he’s going to respect that boundary for a woman he’s very interested in or serious about. Unfortunately this change would have had to happen eventually IF there’s a woman in the picture of course.

[laly520]

he could be only busy