Guys, I want to crawl in a corner and die. Why is it that the men I show interest in don’t like me?

[Anonymous]

Hell rate my pic if you want. I just don’t understand. I pick a guy, I tell them my interest clearly and nothing comes of it.

They decide to date everyone else, but me and typically the women they pick are average. No offense. No skills, looks, anything. They chase them.

I have talent, I’m funny, intelligent and most of my hobbies are male oriented without trying. I guess I’m old but what am I gonna do? The man then fixates on one of my negative traits saying this is the reason of their lack of interest. Immaturity when was I was younger, I fixed it. Now it’s that I’m strange.

I didn’t bother this guy, my text passed the friend check. I asked him out and he flat out ghosted me. Even turned off his availability. :(

[MrOracle]

I don't know you, and have no reason to dislike you or anything, so don't take anything I say as a personal attack - I'm simply being honest so that you can address whatever issues might be coming between you and success.

Most women today hold a higher opinion of themselves and their "level" as a potential relationship partner than is warranted, and so they tend to go for guys who are above their level, and don't find success. It's like trying to get a Ferrari dealer to sell you a $400,000 car for $80,000 - even if $80,000 is a lot of money, it's not gonna get you a new Ferrari. Women can attract men above their level by offering them casual sex, but men have entirely different (and much higher) standards for a relationship, so just because you could get a guy to bang you doesn't mean he will date you, much less commit to you. If you make it clear to a guy that you are looking for a relationship, and he doesn't see you as "relationship material" for whatever reason, he's likely to walk away. If this happens consistently, then you likely don't offer enough value to get the kind of men you are pursuing.

Some of your "relationship value" will be things you can't change (your age, your past), but some things you can - which means you can raise your value to some degree if you are deficient in certain areas, which could then allow you to get a higher-value guy than you might be able to get now, as-is. Obviously you don't have to make changes, but the consequences of not doing that is that you will only be able to "afford" a lower-value guy with the value you have to offer.

Do you know what men value? Most women do not - hell, most women are proud not to know or care - which is why so many are single. These are going to be generalizations, obviously, and each man is an individual, but the more of these you can offer, the higher your chances of success:

• Youth/fertility
• Fit (i. e., not significantly overweight - it doesn't mean you need muscles or "tone")
• Feminine (NOT Feminist!) Skirts and dresses, long hair, all-natural, soft-spoken, etc.
• Friendly/Positive Attitude/Not easily offended
• Family-oriented (rather than career oriented)
• Submissive (i. e., willingly follows his lead, provided he proves himself to be a competent leader)
• Chaste (read: low body count)
• Good morals and values

Note that there's no mention of your education, degrees, career, or income - those things have either zero value or a negative value as a relationship partner to a man - any more than his vintage Star Wars toys would make him a valuable husband selection to you.

Again, I know nothing about you, so this isn't a personal judgement - it's the same thing I tell everyone - but if YOU know that you are weak in certain areas, you can make changes and increase your value and desirability to men in general. I do have to mention, though, that you will be competing with women in their 20s, and youth is highly valued, so as a woman in your 30s, who can't offer youth, you need to be able to knock 'em out in the other areas, or you have to select less-desirable guys who will accept less.

[lightbulb27]

you are not old, just getting started.

what pic?

I've seen this happen and done this to women whom made advances. I turned away for my own reasons as I found a quick reason not to. I really think it's more how you are doing things than what, possibly too aggressive not patient. Dating is sales and it's a skill to get foot in the door.

more information means more clarity. I've seen this, but reasons may vary.

Realize part of the problem is on the other side... he has his own issues, fears, shames, traumas that control his responses. Thus he may go for a problem child wounded bird vs a healthy person... because of his own issues. just one example.

[Summeroflove]

You know they’re just not meant to be. There is a lot of dudes who are just wanting sex. When they can’t get it they run off. Not all men are like this then again sone men are in relationships and not everyone will be into you.

I’m glad you’re not wasting time waiting around. At least you have closure and aren’t waiting around on those guys who aren’t going to be into you.

Also. People who ghost you are doing you a favor theyre just cowards and if someone gets offended by me saying that maybe they see something in themselves. They can’t be honest for whatever reason they lost interest, didn’t get what they want, are playing games, keeping you in the back burner, or whatever the reason could be.

[Anonymous]

Most women I hear say things like this don't seem to understand what men actually value in a woman. Most men in their mid 30s are either already married or they are getting serious about settling down and having a family, so they are dating more seriously and looking for a woman who will make a good life partner and mother. What do you offer that would make men see you that way?

I'm not saying you don't understand what men actually want, it's just a guess. But I would suggest giving some serious tought to how you think men percieve you as a potential life partner and mother to their children. That's my best advice.

Best of luck to you, I hope you find a good man and find happiness.

[JacobJordan]

Let's hear some qualities about you so we can at least give you accurate advice. Do you have long or short hair? Is it dyed? Do you smoke, drink do drugs? Party? Have lots of tattoos? Dress revealing? Do you wear lots of fake up? Are you overweight? Are you underweight? What type of clothes do you prefer to wear? Etc

[FunkyMonkee]

Same reason the women I like aren't interested in me?

[Anonymous]

I know what you mean.

I wrote a letter to Scarlett Johansson, Haley Atwell both ignored me. What gives? So don't feel bad. It happens to us guys to.

[BLP11520]

Is there a personality trait that runs them off?

[nawtee_me]

rate what pic?

[Anonymous]

What pic?