I feel like men don’t like me very much. I’ve been single my whole life and it’s like they see something bad in me that I can’t figure out. I mean, I don’t go out of my way to be mean or anything. I mostly just keep to myself and don’t really talk to them. There has to be something wrong I’m not aware of.
Asker wants to hear from Guys only. Login to share your opinion.
"I mostly just keep to myself and don’t really talk to them..." That sends out a strong signal that you are not interested in their attention. What do you expect them to do? Just say "Hey, you're cute, will you date me?" That approach is unsuccessful with about 99% of all women, so men with a clue don't do that. They initiate a conversation, and if the woman engages with them for a few minutes then they will ask for a date.
You might try online dating. It worked for me. It works better with an attractive photo.
I would love to approach men but I’ve noticed they get aggressive when they don’t find you attractive. I’ve had this experience and it’s basically rooted into my mind.
If you are not mean…do you smile? Keeping to yourself is okay on the streets or tram…. Ever started up some conversations?
Not really.
I am attracted to men. But, they get upset if I talk to them.
Or, at least, that’s been my experience. Or they just ignore my attempts on talking to them and they look at me weird. That’s when I just stopped trying and don’t bother. Seems to make things better.
Honestly, I don’t think there’s anyone for me.
You will be surprised. Life has a way of getting ya when you least expect it. Maybe not focus on it for the time being, and work on things you are passionate about. Things you have been meaning to get to. As a means to occupy yourself with.
Reason I say that is things usually happen or come about when you are not looking *per say*. Dont ever let anyone tell you are not pretty. Ya seem as if you have a great head on your shoulders from the few interactions we have had.
What are some of the things that hold your interest? Perhaps take some ideas from those things, and start frequenting events or places that involve them. It could be a way of finding someone with similar interests also. For example playing Magic the Gathering, PC games join an online community browsing twitch and joining discords, movies, writing, reading I am sure there are various clubs for each of those last three. Example my friends and I enjoy getting together and watching the most B rated moves the cheesier the better then enjoy the evening laughing until our sides are hurting.
I hope this helps. Also if you are into musicals there is one called Hedwig and the Angry Inch. I bring this up because there is a song called "The Origin of Love" where they talk about that when people were first brought about everyone was a half to one other. At a point Zues struck them with his lightning bolt spliting them apart. They then spent their lives trying to find their other half.
Some people are late to the game in a manner of speaking. While others, just choose to make a grand entrance with all the bells and whistles blaring. However, when the time is right he will enter your life and you will know.
I know its not much past words, however dont become discouraged. Like I said it will happen when it is meant for you. Until then go out have some fun and observe the world around you. May not seem like it, but I was an introvert that once I was done with work. I would get home, and that is the last people would hear from me until the next work day. Just know there are others that can relate, and I would imagine, but don't want to speak for anyone else however, that should you need people to talk to is just a message away.
I hope you are still having an amazing day!!!
@SwellStroke I remember reading about that. I honestly didn’t really believe it because I thought it was just BS because it’s not reality. It’s just something to get people’s hopes up when in real life not everyone is meant to have someone.
Have you not experienced it other aspects of your life. Looking for car keys, trying to find a certain letter? Then when you stop looking that is when you find them.
Trying to force something tends to delay things from being able to flow as they are intended to. Not saying that is for every situation. However, when it comes to things like this sometimes taking the relaxed approch is the best. Then there are times that life will throw a curve and present a small window to which if you are not paying attention at that time will close for the time being, as another chance will present itself down the road.
If that makes sense.
If I may ask as to maybe help with getting the ball rolling, what are your interests? What do you like to do in your spare time?
What is considered as looking? Because I don’t go on dating sites or even socialize. I mostly just stay in and don’t really go out. Except work and that’s it.
Looking is as you see, by which ever means you are comfortable with. You are on this site and talking with a various people here, so how would that be different in just socializing on other sites? Granted it seems as if there is pressure to be quick when on those sites, but take your time, dont be in a rush. Like I said it will happen when it is meant to, So why not break that cocoon and let your wings prepare for your Wanderlust through a new chapter in your life. :D
I've been single most of my life, too. Didn't get my first "girlfriend" until just before I turned 25. Didn't get my first real girlfriend until I was 34!
It could just be that you don't go out among them! Probably my problem, too, to a degree except that, i was always going out playing gigs with my band for 25 years and, so far, only met 3 girlfriend's because of the band. The first two only lasted a couple months, the third, just over 10 years, except that she started cheating on me after at least 8 or 9 years! Since the break-up of the band 4 years later, I haven't had a reason to go out and about.
It's the "keep to yourself and not talking to them part"! That's all! If you 'keep to your self' then guys will see you as seeming less open. If possible, stop keeping to your self as much, and make an effort to talk to men more (or men in mixed groups). I would bet that if you seemed more 'open' you will have better luck. 🙂
I don’t know you but as someone else said. If you won’t talk to them…. Then they don’t even know you.
My confidence is super low because I had bad experiences with men. They just so annoyed by my existence where it’s impossible to approach them.
If someone seems annoyed. Then leave them be. If someone won’t talk to you. Leave them alone.
Yes. If you been rejected it sucks. But it means they aren’t into you. If you only wait on men to approach you.
Even women that have lots of guys approach them really are only limiting themselves to who approaches them even if it’s not their type of men….
You just gotta put yourself out there.
Seems like I annoyed enough men where I just don’t bother at all. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way.
Well depending on how you annoyed them and then rheee are just some legitimately unfriendly people who are better to just avoid
I honestly believe they just don’t like my existence. Because I figured out if I stay quiet, everything is fine.
Some people are annoying and don’t realize it. Maybe you’re not a bad person. But you just bother people and don’t realize it.
Do you ever invade someone’s space? Are you ever super loud? Those are reasons that might make someone give a dirty look
I don’t do either. I don’t really talk to people, or socialize with anyone.
Eh. They don’t matter then. They’re just judgey
Oh, well 🤷♀️ Being single is better anyway, and way less stressful.
Yes. I’m sure you’ll find someone eventually
I don’t want to find anyone.
Okay
Well if you are not talking to them. They probably think you are mute or up your own ass.
I didn’t have a good experience with men. It’s why I have issues approaching them.
"I mostly just keep to myself and don’t really talk to them."
A lot of guys would view you as unapproachable because of this.
I never really had a great experience with men anyway. So, maybe it’s for the best.
It would seem more sensible to see a photo of you before making commentary on the issue.
I’m very unattractive.
Still you said "There has to be something wrong I am not aware of".
Turns out you are aware of it in truth.
Unless the "I am unattractive" judgment is misplaced. Once again: you should have attached a photo of yourself to your Question.
But, I don’t know what that something is. Maybe I’m just not meant to be with anybody. Seems to be a thing with a lot of people.
It can be just your physical appearance, if what you say ("very unattractive") is true.
You make it harder for us to answer by not providing a photo. It's your choice, and not one I agree on.
I can guarantee you it’s my physical appearance. I’ve been told so. But, I don’t get why that would mean it’s ok for men to be angry at me and treat me like I shouldn’t exist.
Be assured that women are much apter than men at that kind of behavioural violence.
And they (a good share of them) do it not only to the physically unshapely, but also to the timid and awkward.
I am 31 and have only had one relationship. So don't feel alone
whiten your teeth. dye your hair blonde
I am blonde.
Also, my teeth are white.
get to a hairdresser and tell them to save you. you could use some help. they'll appreciate it too since that's an ungrateful job
@Sevenpointfive With all due respect, was there not a way that you could have worded that better? I mean a little compassion for a fellow human truly shouldn't take much to implement. Maybe ask if that is something that she has recently considered trying if she hasn't?
Also that seemingly is a minor portion to what has been discussed through out the thread. Though some do see it as a major thing. But that is something that will vary from person to person.
Like I said all due respect. As I can process as to reasons that lead you to your contribution to the conversation. But maybe take a few moments to consider how to deliver your thoughts?
Regardless I hope you are doing well and that you are having a great night/day depending on location.
@SwellStroke there's no sugar added here. i answered the question honestly and she'll thank me for it in the end
@Sevenpointfive You’re basically telling me I should change myself JUST to find a boyfriend. I mean, the teeth part I get because it’s hygiene. But, I go to the dentist AND orthodontist. Also, I brush my teeth very often.
@Sevenpointfive Also, you’re being a total piece of shit to me for no reason. What the fuck did I do to you? Asshole 🖕
"it’s like they see something bad in me that I can’t figure out", your words. i hope i helped
@Sevenpointfive I meant, personality wise. I feel like you just wanted an excuse to bully me and call me ugly.
i don't think you're ugly. i actually see great potential in you
@Sevenpointfive Yet, you’re telling me to whiten my teeth acting like I don’t take care of them. Also, you’re saying to go to the hair salon so they can “save me.” WHAT THE FUCK IS THERE TO BE SAVED? 🤬
don't draw conclusions from what you think i might be saying. but that could be another clue into why you have some man trouble
@Sevenpointfive You’re the one saying all this shit.
okay. i get why you're single
That is why I asked him as I did. To be fair he is being brutally honest as he is seeing it. Which is a good thing to a degree. There are times however that it can become more of a hinderance.
They had good intentions it seems. The only thing you should change is what you feel you should do. I think they were also trying to give ya some ideas of somethings that various people would take into account, some not all remember that.
When you do find your one, physical characteristics become a minimal thought. As there are so many way to which bonds and connections can be made between two persons.
Thank you for putting it out there that the focus of the topic is Personality. To which I will give ya this to think about. Look to how you reacted to Sevenpointfive, granted there is a little confusion between delivery and receipt of points of consideration to offer outside perspective.
With that said, please just take a breath and don't look too far into it. In addition to ya hadn't answered my question as to some of you interests and hobbies to you enjoy? Ask as to attempt to help gather a better means in which to be an assistance.
@Sevenpointfive Then explain to me what the fuck you’re trying to say. What am I supposed to think here?
@SwellStroke Then I need someone to please explain what is there to be “saved.” Because that’s exactly what he said. He knows what he said and now he’s backing out and making me look like the bad guy here.
do you wanna take over @SwellStroke
@SwellStroke Like, what am I suppose to think or say?
@Sevenpointfive Exactly! You can’t even explain what you’re trying to say to me. You want me to take your advice on going back to blonde because that’ll get me someone. Like, why? Why should I do that?
@Sevenpointdive if I have to change my hair color just to get a guy, fuck that noise. I’ll be more than happy to die single.
i'm not against you sasha. do you think i am?
@Sevenpointfive I do, yes
Take a moment and breath, center, think. Rather than taking a aggressive defensive demenor in reagards to his attempt to offer insight to the best that can be done through the internet.
Maybe ask him to elaborate as to the reasoning behind his points of focus when he joined the conversation. Level heads tend to find progress more than steam escaping from anything it can. Both he and I are here attempting to offer some insight from the outside while also affording you the comfort of being able to feel free enough hopefully to be able to move towards finding the true points of concern in regards to what you are looking for in your journey truth.
then i apologize for making you feel that way
@Sevenpointfive Apology NOT accepted!
@SwellStroke I’m already pissed off so there’s no calming down at this point.
that's okay. i'm still not against you. but i hope you find what you need here
@Sevenpointfive No you don’t.
i do. i've spent a lot of time talking to you. i can tell you are a nice person
@Sevenpointfive Don’t say things like that after telling me I should be “saved.”
Sasha, please settle down. I actually do belieive Sevenpointfive honestly did not mean to offend. He is one of the few I have actually offer an apology on here.
The manner in which you are reacting to him is a telling sign that you are quick to draw conclusions before having all the information that would afford you a better understanding. Now when i say that its just from this interaction. That is why I asked for a step back, breath and center yourself.
If you are in this mindstate of agitated, anxious and defensive. It will not afford you help in moving towards a solution or the pathway to a solution for you.
I have actually seen offer an*
@SwellStroke He basically told me I should change my hair color to get a guy. And he’s not even explaining himself so I have every right to be angry.
there must be something i can do sasha?
If you have to take a break for the night. Find some killer music to fade away into. Forgetting anything else for awhile. :D Just know we are here because we are wanting to offer what we may in regards to insight that we are able to help you.
That is something a lot of people consider as a change of pace in addition to a change that draws attention to.
@Sevenpointfive Alright. Answer me this, do I have to change my hair JUST to get a guy?
@SwellStroke Well, I’m not going to change my hair color for a guy so 🤷♀️
As for not explaining, it appears you haven't really given him a chance to. If you are able to regain a level head to discuss the matter. i would feel you would have a better experience and may happen to gain a few new friends in the process. That is up to you if you like. :D
no. you don't.
@Sevenpointfive Then why say anything like that?
because it's a personal opinion. i don't go out telling bums to take a shower because they can't. but if i can positively influence someone's appearance for their better good then that's a good thing right?
I offered an explanation for that point. Changes such as dying ones hair can bring attention because of the change as it is something in the Art world that they use often. Giving a focal point that draws ones eyes to, in doing so it brings the attention to focus on that point.
Where it could be a gateway to bridging that gap of being able to enjoy a conversation with a guy that has come up to inquire about your hair.
@Sevenpointfive But, how do you even know my teeth aren’t white? I go to the dentist and I brush my teeth. Why should I go for blonde? I’m happy being a redhead.
@SwellStroke Well, I’m not going to change my hair color. I’m happy being a redhead.
Because that is another common point of interest. That I can speak from experience with as a few different unfortunate happenings in my life that gave me the lack there of. (Bike accident and a Horse that took offense to me being around.)
If you are happy keeping your color then don't change it. Like stated earlier those are both common area's that a lot of people focus upon when trying to draw the attention of the opposite sex.
@SwellStroke Sounds mentally draining.
i'm glad you're happy. that's the most important thing
It can be yes. The times have made things so complicated with the internet and all the options in regards to ability to connect quickly/instantly has become more of an inconvenience in regards to how we interact with one another.
For lack of better term Desensitizing us to one another. As most of our interactions having migrated to the deceives.
Yeah same with me AGAINST LADIES.
A lot of guys find that offputting
Maybe being single is better for me.
I don't know how you look or act
I’m unattractive and I do get scared approaching men.
You can also add your opinion below!
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
