Guys, Can guys just be friends with a female or is there some sort of attraction/interest?

[Anonymous]

Yes

No

[Finchie40]

Only if there is no attraction what so ever , so basically you would have to be ugly lol. The truth is a guy isn’t going to invest a lot of his time and energy into a girl, just to be friends with her , if he is calling her consistently and looking forward to seeing her consistently, he wants more than just friendship , he already pictured himself having his way with you Girls’ do this to guys’ as well, I been on both sides of the spectrum too many times to realize it always points to this. Every time I was in a relationship with a girl , there would always be a so called opposite sex friend trying to work there way in between us , My so called friends would sometimes try to get with my girl behind my back , they are no longer my friends. Some of My partners’ girl friends would try to go behind her back and get with me as well , why it’s important to prioritize your partner over your friends period , when you get into a relationship with someone , Your so called friends might not really be your friends. A true friend wouldn’t betray you a toxic friend will. So if you want your relationship to last and for love to grow between you and your partner , you are best to choose your partner over everyone else no matter what and tand your partner should be doing the same for you , if not , then you are best to walk away and find yourself someone that makes you their top priority. Never be a convenience to anyone. Someone that truly loves you will make you their top priority. Never choose your friends or co workers over your partner unless you want to be single again. Understand it isn’t control , it’s respect for each other , what you don’t want your patented doing to you , has to be the same rules for you as well , not the other way around. It’s ok to have friends , but your partner should be your number 1 friend no matter what , if your friends don’t like your partner and bash your partner to you , distance yourself from those friends because they aren’t your friends True friends don’t bash and talk shit on your partner , toxic friends do , to either pull you away from your partner for their own selfish benefit , or to go behind your back. Respect your partner the same way you want them to respect you and I guarantee your relationship will have a way better chance of lasting the long haul not the short,

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Yes, easily. Just check out the women from my cover page here:

That photo's from a friend reunion several years ago but they've all been my close friends for over 15 years, some almost 20 years.

The one of Indian descent on the left (optical scientist) together with her husband (film producer) is the one who introduced me to my wife (in the bunny ears) at a picnic. She's like my little sister. Next to her is a real estate agent (she's over 10 years older than me), then my wife, then my little sister behind me to my left, then me, then behind me on the right is a pharmacist, then on right in front is flight attendant, then the guy below to the bottom left is a photographer, and on the right is a kindergarten teacher.

We've all been very good friends for such a long time.

Now on attraction, of course I find some of my female friends attractive. Yet so too do I find complete strangers attractive. That's different from developing some sort of attachment that goes beyond friendship, like a fantasy and hope of being together. I don't do that with women who are just my friends, however physically attractive or not they are.

This is so commonplace in Japan that I was culture-shocked when I went to the America and heard so many guys saying that men and women can't be close friends. It is the norm here for the average Japanese man and Japanese woman to have about as many male friends as female friends.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Admittedly when we're at the beach and I saw one of my prettier female friends bend over in a bikini, I'm a bit more excited than usual than when I see a stranger do that. Like, "Wow!" with a bit of a perv side there. 😅 It's more excited since we've known each other so long and maybe a dirty thought or two pops up in my head for a moment.

But still, no big deal. I keep it light like that. I don't start hoping or making goals of being together or getting jealous when they get boyfriends. On the contrary, I want to meet their boyfriends now and become friends with them too. We all become friends this way; it is the Japanese way.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

[*] It's more [exciting] since we've known each other so long and maybe a dirty thought or two pops up in my head for a moment.

Also when I made a new girlfriend, I introduced her to my female friends (along with male ones). It was important to me that we all become friends this way so that we can often all hang out together. I don't want to just hang out with my girlfriend away from my friends or just hang out with my friends away from my girlfriend, so it was always important to me that we all become friends and all hang out together.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It is possible to discipline our inner caveman that wants to have children with every single fertile woman. We don't have to fall in love with every single one of them and develop feelings that interfere with friendships.

If I couldn't tame my inner caveman, I wouldn't even be able to go to a bar on a night out without cheating on my wife. I wouldn't be able to work with my more attractive female colleagues without cheating on my wife. I wouldn't be able to be close friends with just about any woman even halfway attractive. My guy friends with more attractive SOs wouldn't be able to trust me with their wives and girlfriends.

We can do all this here in Japan and become the closest friends with attractive women, even hugging, having the most intimate of conversations where we share everything together, while still keeping her in our minds as just a friend because we keep that inner caveman in check that wants to impregnate every single attractive woman we can. It's really not that difficult; how do Western men even stay faithful to their wives otherwise if they have an attractive secretary, colleague, classmate, even if they don't have any female friends?

[Iron_Man]

You love to type a lot my friend. You used to say when you were drinking you did this, but even if you’re not drinking, you still like to type

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@Iron_Man I tend to kind of do a stream of consciousness thing there and bad at summaries. 😅 I don't know exactly how fast I am these days in my 40s but on an official typing test in my teens, I got almost 300 words per minute. I think I can pull off at least 200 WPM still.

[Iron_Man]

That’s fast very fast. What kind of work do you do?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@Iron_Man I'm a programmer by trade so I end up writing code all day long as well as technical documents describing proposed changes in our software, and commit logs, and weekly reports and things of this nature. I have to type all day long, basically. 😅

I actually should be coding now but I'm constantly distracting myself with GaG and sometimes YouTube.

[Iron_Man]

Teach me exactly what you’re doing

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@Iron_Man It might be kind of boring. I work on VFX (visual effects) software for use in video games, films, television, archviz, NASA (one of our clients; they use our software for visualizations of space simulations but they tend to complain more than anyone since they want to work at micro-precision levels like nanometers and our software uses single-precision floating point for speed), etc.

My biggest cred was working on the film, Avatar under James Cameron. That was back when I was living in Burbank, Los Angeles. We did the creature simulation for all the little critters in Pandora (insects and bugs). There were over 300,000 of them per shot in many of the wilderness scenes.


Although barely noticeable without the IMAX screen (and still mostly just little dots even there). But James Cameron was the most demanding director and didn't settle for less than 300K critters buzzing and flying around. He thought the scenes looked too lifeless otherwise.

In terms of programming language and tools, I work in C and C++ (C for APIs, C++ for implementations), VTune for profiling, and mostly we work in MSVC on Windows as our main integrated development environment but also XCode on OSX and we also have a Linux port (but just tend to compile our code there using GCC command line and our cross-platform build system; if the devs edit any code directly on Linux, they use whatever tools they want at their discretion), and Mercurial for the version control system.

[Iron_Man]

That’s interesting. Does it pay well?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@Iron_Man Reasonably. I'm not a rich man by any stretch but don't have to worry about paying the bills. Most of all I get to work remotely which is nice. We're kind of an unusual company in that our devs are scattered across the world. We have me and one other here in Japan, one in Austria, another in New Zealand, one in France, and the rest in various parts of the US.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@Iron_Man It's somewhat of a passion job: computer graphics, since it requires never-ending research since whatever technique seems awesome today will tend to be obsolete tomorrow. We're constantly having to learn new things. The pay is relatively not so amazing given the steep requirements and endless challenges.

Business programmers tend to make money hand over fist while still being able to rely on the same basic techniques people have been using for decades, so if money was my primary goal, I would have switched to that. But I really enjoy working on computer graphics and seeing the results of my code in movies, video games, TV shows, etc.

[Iron_Man]

That’s nice. I’m glad you have a good job doing that interesting.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@Iron_Man Cheers and thanks! 🤝

[Iron_Man]

You’re very welcome my friend. Good luck in your job.

[DannyUk2017]

Like Steve said (and makes sense) A guy can Never be FRIENDS with a woman unless is his Mother, Sister, Relative... Always the man awaits "that oportunity" where i can get "inside" either is Her mind or her panties, always for the man that "female friend" the urge, curiosity, will get the best of them, one way or the other, we are "programmed" like that! 🤷‍♂️

[godfatherfan]

I laugh every time I hear a woman say "I have guy friends".
Men can be friendly with a woman. If they are dating, chances are nothing will ever happen. But 100% the guy has thought of sex with you. 100%. Maybe not even consciously, he is thinking that with you in the picture, there is always a chance something could happen down the line. Now, if knowing he has thought of having sex with you, even if you feel that will never happen, and that doesn't bother you... then really it is not different then actually being friends.

[MinMinBabe]

what if she is mid sized or/and ugly

[Purpleronnie]

I’d really like to say yes but I think I’d be misusing “friends” and what a friend is to me. Getting that close to a woman without at least one person wanting more or situations developing seems implausible to me. I have gotten to know many colleagues in kinda friendships where I’d spend some time with them personally and alone but wouldn’t really say they were friendships , not in the true sense to me.

[82lynx]

For me, lack of shared interests is more likely to be the problem. I’m not sure how to put this, but females that are attractive to me personally are very few and far between. Around here I get the impression that I’m considered a freak or a liar for NOT being irresistibly drawn to every shapely butt within a five kilometre radius.

[CalmUntilAbused]

As long as one or both of them have their respective love interests, it's possible. If they are somewhat alone together, at least one of the sides will develop deeper feelings towards the other.

[sawno]

We can be if she isn't sexually / romantically appealing to us. Otherwise we can be with attraction being there if she is already taken, the moment she over the broken heart though we'd probably make a move.

[egarcia1360]

The way I like to frame it is that a guy friend may honestly not be trying to get with you, but almost certainly would given the opportunity. Unless he's just straight-up not attracted to you, then dw about it.

[Krealot]

Not a problem. I have had more female friends than male ones growing up. And yes, a lot of them where very attractive, even to me. But I was not intrested in them that way. Same now days.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yeah, it depends on who she is, If she or I are already taken or not, whether or not I find her attractive, what age she is, etc. I have platonic femake friends, they are sadly much easier to find than a wife :l

[Alex-Snow]

I have many female friends that are just friends with no sex. Sure some are hot but I enjoy the friendship and yes we do talk about sex but that is it. What about you?

[SolitarySolace]

There is ALWAYS an attraction or interest. Either from him or from her. This is why I don’t do female friends at all. I tend not to hang out with women outside of work, especially alone.

[BoopBoopBeep]

All my female friends are attractive. Doesn't mean I'm going to act on it.

[Flatmanlewis]

Maybe. I don’t know many ugly girls with really devoted guy friends. Kinda says it all right there.

[zagor]

Yes, I've had several good F friends, but most I was not attracted to anyway. A couple seemed to indicate they wanted more but I kind of pretended to be naive and not notice.

[Iron_Man]

Only if you have never dated, but most make friends like the girl and they’re just trying to befriend her so they can try to get more later on down the road

[FunkyMonkee]

I've had PLENTY of female friends with no sexual connection and hardly any male friends.

[Dongie]

Yeah, and there can still be the attraction like when she dates your best friend. Actual happening. Kinda hurt tho.

[Anonymous]

There are things you have to take into consideration. How long you know the person for where did you meet the person?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Well, with me, there could be some attraction towards the girl.

[MarcusVelekram1]

The question is not worded greatly but yes, I think men and women can just be friends. I know a girl from my high school class still, she's like a sister to me. I'd never see her in a sexual way.

[Starrrboy]

Well , even if there's attraction it can still work.. if a guy has no problem getting girls he could think maybe just not hit on this one...

[genericname85]

Yes. Very easy if she's not attractive to him.

[Anonymous]

Definitely possible. Certainly if I'm already in a relationship or if I'm regularly having sex with girl who are hotter than she is.

[MrZameer]

I can't just be a friend with female. I always have some feelings for females

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆 is this a serious question. You're 36-45 and you don't know the answer to this?

[OtterMan68]

yes, any mature man can

[DextroShade]

No, men and women cannot be friends.

[handsomelad70]

But we're likely trying to bop her.

[jahaims]

Attraction sure. Interest no

[austinbooth]

For my opinion it depends on their soul