Why does ex want to be friends so badly?

[Anonymous]

Ex of a year wants to be friends after 3 weeks or 4 following a break up. We have been in touch and plan to meet but his insistence on being friends and desire to see where our friendship goes concerns me as he kept insisting I should move on but when I started to he got very upset and then seemed hesitant to be friends. We discussed friends with benefits and he said he could not separate emotions from it. What could the meeting in person soon mean and why does he want to be friends so badly? He won't let me move on.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo girl, this ex situation sounds preeeeetty confusing from where I'm standing. A few things could be going on here:

- He misses you - Even if he ended things, being broken up is hard and he might just miss having you in his life in some capacity.

- Second thoughts - Seeing you start to move on might be making him question if breaking up was the right call. He wants to keep a foot in the door.

- Control issues - By staying "friends" he gets to still have some claim on your attention/time even if you're not together. Feeds his ego.

- Testing the waters - Meeting up could be his way of gauging if there's still a spark or chance to rekindle things romantically down the line once he's had space.

- Lonely - Breakups suck and being lonely might have him seeking any kind of companionship even just as friends, even if that's not truly what he wants.

I'd say for your own sake, don't get sucked back into the gray areas or false promises of friendship. Dude needs to sort his own feelings out before trying to be pals. If he's still mixed up, that friendship won't help either of you really move forward in a healthy way. Tread lightly sis!

[spartan55]

Why does he have to 'let you move on'? You have agency to do so and are not using it.