Am I forcing something to happened?

[s_lynn22]

I’ve met this guy at church. He’s really sweet and generous. We’ve became friends after we’ve met and I feel like maybe it might lead to something more. I find that I’ve been overthinking everything with him, feeling like I maybe did something wrong that we don’t talk much or he doesn’t see me as much in church. What I mean is that he’s told me that he has a lot going on with his family and that has caused us not to go out and do anything together. Recently I asked him if he wanted to go see a movie with me, and he said he had to do something with his family. Even with texting each other, it’s not like it used to be. We have like small talk and that’s about it. Like today I just felt sad because I felt like maybe I’m doing something wrong, and I keep overthink it. It’s just that I never had a boyfriend before or really had a true friend, that I’m just afraid that I might lose him. And honestly I just want to feel loved and cared about for once because guys don’t approach me or take interest in me. Which is why I deny that I like him, and only like him as a friend. Am I just forcing something to happen? Also this is the guy I’ve talked about in my recent post.

[Anonymous]

Just sounds like he’s not interested. He’s just trying to be nice. From reading what you wrote if I’m being honest I’d probably feel annoyed w you always trying to converse w me. It seems like a little too much especially if he’s not interested. Maybe he doesn’t want to be rude. A man will make time no matter what for a girl he’s really interested in. I know when I was stationed overseas I’d wake up at 2 am just to talk to a girl back here in the states. Even if that meant losing 1-2 hours of sleep then having to get up by 4 am.

[bowenw]

You are not doing anything wrong. I sounds like he is not interested in you the way you are hoping or he already has a girlfriend he is not telling you about. He may also be from a strict family that will not allow him to have a girlfriend.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[DishLady]

A girl can be her own worst enemy in situations like this. Try to step back and give the guy space to think. We tend to get excited about the guy and the guy still needs time to just sit and think. If you rush the guy, he'll feel "trapped" and probably only say what he thinks you want to hear, which is no good.

[Anonymous]

U just want to feel loved , like u said yourself. U are lonely. U don’t really love this person. U feel they would be a great band aid. And trust me u will discard them after u get validation and approval and not in your lonely low state anymore

[Serkee]

I think you're jumping to conclusions there. Just because she's feeling lonely and wants do be loved doesn't mean she doesn't genuinely like this person. Of course everyone wants to feel loved. That doesn't mean pursuing someone will lead nowhere. Why do you think she will discard him once she gets validation?

[Opinion Owner]

@Serkee when u are lonely and want to feel loved , your feelings for people aren’t genuine. It means u need to work on yourself. Not use other people to fill the void

[Serkee]

That's terrible advice. There's a chance you're misinterpreting your feelings, true, but that doesn't necessarily mean your feelings aren't genuine. Of course you should always be working on yourself, yes, but that won't fill that void either. If love and companionship is what's missing in your life, no amount of exercise, dieting, career advancement, or self-help is gonna replace that. Sometimes what you need is love and companionship. And if that's what you're feeling is missing in your life, you're probably right. You should never wait to pursue that, you can improve yourself for your entire life and never feel like it's enough. Pursuing relationships and self-improvement aren't mutually exclusive.

[Opinion Owner]

@Serkee one can only open new doors when they are ready for it. Clearly this person isn’t. people derserve more than being a band aid

[Serkee]

How in the world can you tell whether or not she's ready for it? Everything she's feeling is totally normal. If she hasn't been in a relationship before, of course she's feeling lonely and unloved. And when the guy she's interested in isn't showing as much interest as she feels, of course that's gonna hurt. What specifically did she say that makes you feel she's not ready for a relationship?

[Opinion Owner]

@Serkee another one who loves using people lol

[Serkee]

Damn. What made you jump to that conclusion? Do you think I love using people because I'm not just telling her she's wrong about her feelings? I really don't understand where you're coming from here.