Situationship Vibes?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy in 2021 and we became friends. Then we became friends with benefits and now it’s weird. I get that fwbs don’t ever evolve into something serious and I’m am confused on if this is a situationship now.

(i don’t have much dating experience since I was in a 7 year relationship with my ex and when I was dating the first time it was different then to now)

Anyways, we meet up every now and then but he’s there in my life actively. He wants to know how I’m doing, he listens to me when i need to talk, we sometimes go on dates which is interesting given the friends with benefits label, but this is the thing for me: we do couple things.
We hold hands, we cuddle, we have pet names for each other, we take trips together, we sleep together literally, we showered together too, but i mean, he even told me he loves me. But when I mentioned once in the beginning when we first started things, what are we, he said friends with benefits.

I haven’t asked him recently what we are and I allowed him to do these things with me because I do genuinely like him and I want to go further but I don’t think he wants to? I have that feeling because he mentioned it’s been about two years since him and his ex broken up and they were together for 5 years. I understand the pain of leaving a long term relationship and I think that may have to do with why he’s not ready to commit. in my opinion, he’s not actively searching for anyone else either.

We’re definitely doing things together but the commitment isn’t there. Is this a situationship? Should I tell him how I really feel about him?

*feel free to ask questions if needed, I’m confused on things

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, from the sounds of it this totally sounds like a situationship to me! You're doing all the coupley stuff without the commitment part. It's super confusing and not really fair to you.

I think at this point you definitely need to have a chat with him and lay it all out there. Let him know you really like him, but you can't keep going like this long term without knowing where you both stand.

Be prepared that he still may not wanna make it official since of his past relationship. But at least you'll have your answer and won't keep wondering, you know? Better to know than to stay stuck in limbo.

If he doesn't want more after you chat, don't accept less than you deserve sis! As tempting as it is to stay hooked while hoping he'll change, really ask yourself if you can be happy continuing on like this forever. Your feelings matter too!

You got this girl. Do what's right for you, even if it's not what you want to hear. Much love to you - keep us posted on how it goes!

[spartan55]

You are acting like labeling it a situationship instead of an friends with benefits is some sort of upgrade. It's the same thing. You have NO commitment. (Say this to yourself 10,000 times) If he wanted something more serious with you he would let you know. He is getting all of the benefits of having a girlfriend and the girlfriend experience without any of the responsibility, dedication and commitment. Why would he want a relationship when you give it to him for free? You gave him free pie 🥧 from the jump, which means you will never be girlfriend material to him.

[friendszn]

You need to cut that man off lovely. Trust me he is using you and he doesn’t want to give you that label because he’s Inlove with the thought of being with someone because he misses his ex. It’s hard to hear this but if he doesn’t want to make what yous have official then leave him. He’s using you to get over his ex or he’s still in love with her :(

[spartan55]

It has nothing to do with his ex.

[handsomelad70]

Situationships read as if they suck.