Each time we become very close with a guy he pulls back.. before to come back.. I confronted him and he told me he was a free electron, what to do?

[Anonymous]

It’s been 2 years… I’m exhausted.

The closer we get, the more distant he becomes..! That’s crazy. I took distance and he always comes back…before it was weeks, now it takes months. lol

wtf?

this time he tries to make me react but I didn’t react…

[Anonymous]

There should already be a relationship in place, the fact there isn’t after 2 years this dude is using you for sex. I don't know why you think it’s so significant he keeps coming back, you don’t make him work for it to any real degree he just knows you will welcome him and fall right back into the pattern. He leaves you because he’s looking and comes back when he hasn’t found it or
It didn’t work out. You’re the convenience in his bed and conversation when he’s lonely. If you disagree or don’t like this position then do better.

[Asker]

There hasn’t been sex…not even a kiss !! That’s the point ! He s panicking each time there was a possibility. I don’t understand !

[Asker]

It’s like he fears emotional intimacy.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh wow, well we can scratch what I said about sex but the rest still applies. He comes back out of convenience because you welcome him back without any issues. He feels like you’re on standby for him and you should show him that’s not who you are. After 2 years you should have a relationship in place but if he’s not offering one then you’re both wasting your time.

[Asker]

Yes exactly I agree with you. Last time I exploded in front of other people at a party. He was looking down and when I moved to sit elsewhere he came to sit close to me but didn’t say anything. Since then I removed my energy…he started to like some posts on my social network lately but I didn’t react.

[Asker]

That’s really a paradox he looks for this bond but then fears and backs up.. so now I’m done. I guess the only thing I can do is keeping my position and doesn’t talk to him until he wants a clear conversation and commitment. Otherwise let’s say bye bye !

[Opinion Owner]

I think being done and firm on that is the best thing you can do. I wouldn’t even have a conversation because it will most likely be more excuses as to why he can’t commit. I fully agree with you, he’s emotionally unavailable, but now that you know it I think it’s best to just back off. He’s only wasting your time and you deserve a lot better than a noncommittal man-child.

[Asker]

Yes thank you.. I do agree with you. Exactly I forgot to detail but I feel like he s behaving like a little boy and not a man, despite the fact he is…32 omg. A friend of me made a little joke and said : maybe one day he will shake you hand 🤣🤣 that’s really what I feel. Lol

[Opinion Owner]

Your friend is right! Lol. Side note, I’m also 32, and if you are around this age then I have to say it’s time to get serious. Don’t get me wrong, you can wind up in a situationship at any age but I feel like once you hit 30, even 28-29, you should be very particular and specific about your time, energy and what kind of man you want to give that to. I spent 4 (nearly 5!) years in your shoes, and I know it’s hard to get out of because you really want them to stop bullshitting and commit already. But all that hoping and wishing is really just subtly denying what’s in front of your face.

You seem like a strong woman and honestly I feel as though you’ve just about has enough of his bs. I just hope you choose to walk away to something better!☺️

[spartan55]

Sounds like a waste of time.