Who was wrong in each of these scenarios? Why do people keep responding to me like this?

scenario one. I make one innocent joke that my girlfriend cooks like crap. I was totally joking and she said I was a jerk. I said she was lucky to be with me and she is a rude little pig. Just a joke. She then wants to break up with me. Shouldn't I want to break up with her? She took my innocent joke and made it about different things.

Scenario two. I was walking and I his older woman asked me for help. I told her she was a lazy B and to do it herself. It was totally a joke. This woman said I was ungrateful and a jerk. Ungrateful? She should be grateful to even be speaking to me. She comes from the rough part of town and I don't. I don't want to get my shoes dirty by stepping where you just stepped.

Last scenario. This kid was outside. He was probably eighteen. I came over and shoved him into the mud and got his school clothes all dirty. I wanted to say see you next fall. And get this cute girl to laugh but before I could he started fighting me. So I called his parents over and told them to deal with this kid.

My question is. Why do people treat me so rudely? I'm just joking about stuff. It's not my fault they don't have sense of humor and are sensitive. who is to blame in each scenario.

You are to blame
Person 1 is to blame
Person 2 is to blame
Person 3 is to blame
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Updates
1 mo
Not sure poller read question. If he did he would see I wasn't to blame In those scenarios, they were. Nice of you to stay anonymous. If you had any guts you would say it to me like a man.
Updates
1 mo
Ok. Now we get jerks in the comments. If you can't give honest opinions don't comment. There is no reason to treat people like this.
Who was wrong in each of these scenarios? Why do people keep responding to me like this?
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