I have pushed a guy away. Please advise if I should try to reach out to him?

[Anonymous]

Hello,

Me and this guy matched on hinge. We talked for a month, shared social media.

It was all good, he's very sweet but the he sent me a shirtless photo.

I did not react well saying that he got a wrong idea.

He apologised and seemed sincere.

My anxiety overcame me. I was dcared that he's only after sex and kept asking him several times if he's looking for a hookup. He kept saying no and seemed sincere

After about 5th time I asked he blocked me.

Which I understand but it was not that I wasn't attracted to him or wanted to get to know him. My anxiety over came me and now he's gone.

If I asked ny friend to message him I guess that would be me not respecting his boundaries?

[Anonymous]

I know you liked the guy but you two hardly had a chance to get to know each other before this happened, so if he deleted you then it’s for good. Like there’s no relationship to fight for.


While yes I think it was wrong to ask him repeatedly about his intentions, for all you know you were right and dodged a bullet. Any man off an app who sent me a shirtless pic, they’d either ask for one in return, try to sext or send more pics but more explicit. That could’ve happened to you with him.

[DishLady]

Flirtation is fine, but when a guy sends you a pic right away like this he usually wants more the physical than the social/romantic thing with you. Why you decided to then keep nagging him instead of just moving on right away makes no sense at all.

[Desi_Butcher]

It's gone now. Whatever you do, it's gonna annoy him more.
You should have been patient.

[Asker]

Hello, I've sent him too many messages. Sometimes get anxious when I like someone because a lot of men (especially from the dating apps) are only looking for a hookup and I had some of them appearing extremely innocent and caring.

I know it is my fault and you're right. I'm otherwise very level-headed, friendly and patient
It was the fact that I liked him, got anxious and started pushing away.

Appprently something to do with the attachment style. Don't know..

It's pretty painful but my fault anyway just pretty painful...

[Desi_Butcher]

Yeah I feel you. It's very hurtful when that happens.
But once that happens it hardly gets back normal. Don't feel sad. About time you find a better guy.

[Asker]

Arr you AI?

[Desi_Butcher]

Lol no 😅

[Asker]

Hey, ah ok. Just looked at your profiles pic next to the comment it looked like it was generated by AI. My bad...

Yeah, the worst thing is what if he thinks I don't find him attractive. Pretty hard to move on because really like /liked the guy

[Asker]

*not the worst but didn't have the chance to tell him that I didn't think he was being gross. Just overreacted.

[Desi_Butcher]

Nah!! He's not gonna think that. He just got annoyed by the same question again and again.

[Anonymous]

You wasted a month of his time. I'd have blocked you as well if I were in his shoes.

[Asker]

Realise that I reacted badly but saying I wasted a month of someone's time would not be fair.

I'm not used to getting shirtless photos from I man I haven't met and had guys appearing innocent only to try and sleep with me.

At this point anything like that sets off alarm bells but also it's the worst when I actually like the guy.

Then I don't like someone it is easy to ignore it without a question and just go on about your day..

Understand that ultimately it is my fault and I do get him but it is quite painful and we seemed to mesh well and I came to like him..

[Opinion Owner]

It's not the photo. It's spending a month at the talking phase. That's way too much.

[Asker]

I mean for ME what put me off was the shirtless photo.

We were planning to meet earlier but I got sick which I later found out was very low blood iron. I've noticed it also caused some sort of anxiety which is seeping away now.

What I meant was that him sending a shirtless pic kicked off my anxiety because so many men are just looking for sex on app. I know it was my fault but that's what it was..