Should I reach out to him?

[Aaliyahh007]

Okay please I need a guys or girls perspective on this. So about a month ago I met this guy online and we started talking it was so nice at first we had nice conversations but about a few days into talking we had a disagreement basically he sent a weird snap and at the time I thought it was weird because I recently had been in a weird relationship where my ex was overly sexual and would try to coerce me to sex when he knew I was waiting for marriage well back to this guy. So I asked my friend who was a guy about the snap it was basically a picture taken from waist down showing his tv and living room (he had on pants so yeah) I over thought about it and asked my guy friend, let’s call him Jake. I asked Jake if maybe this guy was trying to be funny when he knew I was Christian Jake convinced me he was and blah blah and i confronted this guy, let’s call him Alex. So i confronted Alex about the snap and he said he had no bad intentions and I believed him so a few days later Alex got a new job as a bartender and he barely had enough time to talk and this left me feeling kinda insecure since it’s long distance and we’d only talk when he got back from work. It was difficult. On the other hand there’s Jake who whenever I say this to is like Alex probably isn’t interested in you blah blah and I guess I started to feel that way honestly even though he did say he liked me I wouldn’t feel like he did. So I told him about it and he apologized but honestly I didn’t let it go because it didn’t change anything and the last day we spoke he told me he had issues with his phone but honestly I could tell he was online so I felt he was playing with my feelings and I confronted him about it again he apologized but then after he got mad and said I put labels on him I apologized but he left me on opened and never texted back and then I met up with Jake and I asked if it was best to unadd Jake and he told me yes so I blocked him but now I feel horrible should I have not?

[bobalife]

It’s hard when it’s distance because if you’re only texting and not having actual phone calls, video chats, or face to face… there can be left so many misunderstandings through texting alone… but given the situation… looks like it’s better to move on. I think he felt smothered and he played the no label card on ya while leaving you on read is a no bueno.
It’s funny cuz modern dating normalize “block” on just anyone so easily these days lol. But I don’t think you should do that if you actually didn’t mean to block him and wasn’t ready to cut real communication… you can UNBlock him, but what’s the purpose? Do you really wanna try again or just have him as a social media buddy to watch his stories? I had guys who had blocked me before cuz they were impulsive and got mad for irrational reasons, then try to add me back. But I didn’t really feel like I truly wanna try again. Everyone is different though. I rarely give some exceptions depending on their message, connection/feelings, and the circumstances. If you do decide to add him and talk again, I would advice to think first is he really someone you want as a boyfriend or are you just caught up in the feels? What can you do better next time when you’re feeling anxious or insecure? What would be different this time? Can you take it slow at his pace?
Hope this bring some insights, goodluck~ 🌸

[bobalife]

by the way it’s valid that you did not feel comfortable with that type of snap pic, it’s your boundary and you deserve someone who understands and respects you. It’s normal for any girl to feel some type of way from that kind of pics so early on. Guys be hella ballsy these days no matter what age, we don’t wanna see that so early on and when they’re still a stranger basically.. 🤦🏼‍♀️ literally the other day, my co-worker tried to play Cupid with me and her mail man who was interested in me, we barely even texted… he did the same move and worse… I actually blocked him cuz he was overdoing it way too early and out of my comfort. Just know you’re not alone and continue to go by what’s comfortable for you please.

[Aaliyahh007]

Tysm!! I did reach out to him and he told me he was going through some hardships.

[bobalife]

You’re welcome :) are things better or back to normal now? Sometimes that reason is real and other times it is an excuse, be careful ~

[DishLady]

Please respect yourself and don't pester this man.

[PointlessNonsenseGuy]

So basically, two guys are interested in you, but you're not sure HOW interested, and you're not sure which one you like more.

The long distance guy is older, I guess, and maybe you're into that, plus he's probably better looking, and maybe you think it's hot because he's sort of taboo.

The guy who's close at hand is closer to your age, I think, and if he was your boyfriend you could go on actual dates with him, but maybe he doesn't rev your engine like the other guy does? And he seems a little sneaky and underhanded, the way he was trying to drive a wedge between you and the other guy.

Have you considered just being "casual" with both of them? You're not planning to have sex with either of them, so maybe the best option is to talk with both of them, and hang out with the guy who isn't long-distance, and see where things go.

[spartan55]

Okay, you are 17, and this guy got a job as a bartender? How old is he? I wouldn't bother trying to message him going forward.

[Aaliyahh007]

He is 18

[Makeushiver]

I think it's a reflection on the shortcomings of e-dating. You can't fully understand someone w/o seeing facial expressions and body language. I'd recommend any further convos face to face to avoid confusion if this is possible

[strateguy632]

correct he played you! , jake agreed good you blocked.

[Nikki1989]

Texting and snap?

This is going to go nowhere.

[Aaliyahh007]

It’s long distance I’m 17 😭

[TeraGER]

Yes go for it

[Aaliyahh007]

I did