Why am I suddenly irritated by my roommate?

[Anonymous]

My roommate and I hit it off when I first met him and we would have good conversations but he’s starting to annoy me and I don’t know why. One thing he does is be in a lot of people’s business and then comes back to me and talks about it and that stuff kind of rubs me the wrong way because I’m not like that and it makes me wonder if he’s doing the same when it comes to me. Then small stuff that annoys me like changing the channel on the tv not asking me if I’m watching. Hogging the remote and watching the same movies over and over again while hogging the remote. Then we weirded me out and I caught him looking towards my private area when I was walking by. Overall I don’t have a problem with him but he’s just sort of annoying to me now. And I don’t want to get into with him down the line. I do know sometimes when you have unknown problems with someone it’s because they sort of mirror your actions back to you and you’re not aware. I’m just looking for advice on how to basically take a chill pill and mature and grew through this situation without having fall outs with people.

[jennifer_bloom]

I find if somebody is always doing things that annoy you, it’s because deep inside they show a lack of respect for something you expect them to respect. This could be anything he disdains such as your space, your choices, Your desire for distance or anything else. There is something important to you that is not important to them and all his irritating behaviours reflect that mental disregard for this thing you don’t agree on.

I will give you an example. I’ve offended my female cousin nearby by not worshiping the visual world. She mocked me behind my back for believing in the supernatural, for having goals she thought were unrealistic, and for rejecting and defying common human standards in her social circle, such as evaluating people based on their income. She viewed me as an unrealistic dreamer cause I did not worship her physical and material values.

[Asker]

Thanks for the response I can definitely see that being part of the issue. I compromise a lot so I don’t have altercations with people and I’ve been like that since I was a child. My parents and grandparents taught me to treat people how you would like to be treated at all times.

[Taniisokay]

I had it worse. My ex roommate, always burns the foods, sometimes too much oil, too much spicy, and she doesn't even eat it and expect me to eat which I didn't. I don't normally foodie person, I don't complain about it if I can fix something for myself but that's wasted of money.

She always tells her mother about me, saying I don't clean our room and shit. She was so freaking childish.

Fews time, she will come to my bed and hug me to sleep which I didn't mind "I am straight".

One day, she messed up my cooking pan without me knowing it. I tried to cook pancakes but my cooking pan was damaged. I asked her and she had an attitude. I gone out to buy foods. She cleaned my pan put it my bed. She asked me to not touch her cooler with my dirty hands. I slapped the shit out of her and we fought. I won obviously. She is my ex roommate now.

Your case is easy. Try to talk with him and figure how can y'all solve this.

[Anonymous]

You have a short fuse.

[Asker]

Thanks for the response I can definitely admit that