What is the most difficult part of being a man?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

I think most men would agree with this: the fact that you have ZERO support system of any kind UNLESS you build it yourself. Generally, NO ONE CARES about you, and NO ONE WILL SAVE YOU from whatever unfortunate situation you may find yourself in UNLESS you have family or UNLESS you have built yourself a network of friends - and many guys struggle with that.

Women have a dozen ways they can be saved - even complete strangers often step in to help women out, and certainly the government has dozens of programs to help women, but men really have nothing that they haven't built themselves and maintain themselves.

This applies to any kind of problems - from your car breaking down to family drama to serious illnesses to job loss to losing a loved one - NO ONE CARES unless that man has built himself a support network. This is why 90% of homeless are men - those were men who either abused their support network or, more often, never had one in the first place, and when they fell on bad times, no one was there to help them.

Men are taught from a young age that it's all up to us - we have to "figure it out" and "make it happen", which is why many of us are so obsessed with our job/career - EVEN if we HATE what we do. We know we don't have the luxury of going without an income, or going without supporting our families and dealing with our responsibilities. It's just not an option, and we feel the weight of those expectations on our shoulders every day. So if you wonder why we don't have great work/life balance, or why some of us have to work overtime or go in on our day off and we can't spend that time with you instead, it's not that we want or like it, it's because we don't feel we have any other option.

EzraIsShy76028 · Accepted Answer

I guess the main thing would be being expected to be super strong and stoic absolutely all the time, regardless of how you truly feel or what you're going through.

Some people think it's not okay for men to cry even when both their parents die. Their parents die, and they're expected to just immediately go on completely unfazed as if nothing happened. Ditto if their SO dies or their children die.

Another thing, depression and mental health issues. Some people think it's better for men to just "man up" and "suck it up" rather than go to a therapist and/or work on their mental health issues. To just suffer in silence and hope the feelings eventually pass rather than try to work on them.

Those would be the hardest things in my opinion.

Not that women can't struggle with the above as well, but men tend to struggle with it a lot more.

I also read somewhere that men usually have higher suicide rates and are more likely to be homeless or in jails/mental hospitals than women.

Considering all the stuff I talked about above, no wonder.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

The bogus advice they receive from other men, probably.

Caroline91 · Accepted Answer

Trying to meet all of the expectations put on him.

DannyUk2017 · Answer

Being Stereotyped, and Finger Pointed At, No matter how much good you want to do/show...

sawno · Answer

Probably the fact that unless you are lucky and born exceptionally good looking to an unreasonable degree you have no inherent value. You become valuable trough who you manage to become, what you manage to achieve / build, what you manage to obtain, etc. There is no default admiration or someone who comes along to just take care of you and happily does so. For men its expected that you get there on your own.

Meanwhile there is also active systemic discrimination against men with the diversity quota's further disadvantaging them / discriminating against them because they are men.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

Learning how to find your own way and define for yourself what being a man actually is.

We get judged very harshly which is fine. I'm not complaining. But where it gets to be a source of stress is when you're trying to find the right people to surround yourself with and these days it feels like everything you do is wrong.

But if you decide to straight up not give a fuck that can be a problem too.

So maybe the hardest part is nobody seems to know what one is anymore.

ohsheeT · Answer

I don't think they're really anything too difficult about it. And to be honest I mean it's the only thing I've ever known so it is what it is and you just take on everything because you have to get through it you have to make life work so but as far as being difficult I don't really think about it that way I mean I look at women having a harder life than men really

But I think no matter who we are men or women we go through some moments in time where we didn't expect whatever it was happening to happen and you just have to be able to get through it and make it work

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Hard to say which one's the hardest. It always depends on which impacts who more but here's a list.

1. It's always our fault

2. The sympathy gap

3. High expectation

4. We're on our own

5. No value unless we provide something. No unconditional love.

6. Society thinks we deserve it if we have problems or if we're abused specially by women

7. Lack of appreciation because masculinity is apparently toxic

8. Society don't teach men how to man up the right way anymore

9. We have to figure out everything

10. Being stoic and emotionally available at the same time

11. Loneliness

I think there's more. This trans dude regrets everything!

https://www.youtube.com/embed/R2cxIM2cxlw

AviatorTom · Answer

We men are problem solvers. When we see a problem, we think about what we can do to solve it. Yet, when a woman complains about something, most of the time, she just wants us to listen, not try to solve her problem. That is so damn hard... knowing that I can solve her problem but not being able to do anything about it. And her story is usually so darn long, it hurts. 🙈🙊🙉

BAMDesigns06 · Answer

The concept of masculinity itself. As a man, sometimes it seems like there are expectations to like sports, have a great muscular body, be tough and strong, etc. people eve have sayings like “be a man” and “it takes balls to …”. Trust me, I want to be a macho man, but I’m more interested in art and movies than sports, I have an overweight physique (I’m working on it), I do not have that “bro” personality, I’m not tough nor super strong, and I prefer men over women (I’m gay). I often feel the pressure of not being manly enough and don’t feel like I can relate to other men, even though I want to. I had more friends who were girls growing up than I had friends who were guys. Toxic masculinity is a real thing!

Unit1 · Answer

If it's not being sent to the frontlines in Ukraine to perish, then it's being invisible to women and paling to the top 5% of men as a yet another Mr Average. Either way, men's life is relentless war.

DextroShade · Answer

No one is coming to save you, and nobody gives a damn about your problems except maybe your mother. If you don't perform well enough, we end up never getting laid or becoming homeless in the worst case. We don't have the luxury of being dumb like women do.

RebelinSteel · Answer

Nothing really, it’s a fairly easy life. I can go out running at 6am without worrying about things, I can travel back from the pub at midnight without too much concern.

elaphe · Answer

Having society take things that men go through seriously. For example, when one thinks of domestic violence, most will think about a woman being the victim. But men can be abused also. And if he is abused, can you imagine the stigma of admitting that "a woman beat me up." I would imagine that, in general, police are more sympathetic to female abuse victims, too. There is a mentality that men should take care of themselves.

236color · Answer

The double standard. If a man pursues a woman because he's sexually attracted to her, he's a sexist asshole. If a woman pursues a man because he is financially successful, she's a wise woman thinking of her future.

Anonymous · Answer

The realization that you'll only ever be valued for what you're able to provide somebody. Nobody gives a 💩 you're a worker bee, a dime a dozen, do your job, pay your taxes, and die to stop wasting resources and make room for the next crop of worker bees.

hotrodk9 · Answer

Not knowing how or what a woman is thinking, there certain ques that a woman gives out that have us baffled, for example if she plays with her hair while talking to you, and that is just one of many, why isn't there a book out there that helps us understand those ques.

Breanna_nonbinary · Answer

The most difficult part is not being attractive. Having women reject you because you’re not the alpha is damaging to your self esteem.

CheeseMonster · Answer

Isolation. Having to work harder to build connections & relationships—usually, ime. There are always exceptions.

Stevepro68 · Answer

Chris Rock said it best men do not get unconditional love ever. There is always an expectation of something.

BetaBucks · Answer

Having to readjust "myself" every time I move. I don't mind all the traditional male role stuff. Hard work is healthy.

normalice · Answer

Your abilities decline just as your ambitions rise.

itsannalee · Answer

I guess have to worry about their size and women don’t need to.

DrPepper12 · Answer

No one GAF what we FEEL on top of we're societally manipulated into NOT expressing emotions.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

From my own perception: most difficult is to tie a useless knot on a useless necktie. All the rest comes naturally

OddBeMe · Answer

Getting over society’s “expectations” of a man. Ie, toxic masculinity. It’s BS and toxic to men.

Avcfhcic · Answer

Being strong on the outside while struggling on the inside

Phoenix98 · Answer

Society and it's people probably are the worst things.

Huntingnfishin · Answer

Feeling the need to over compensate or mansplane things to women. Honestly y'all don't know how difficult it is to explain things to you!

John_Cobretti · Answer

Nobody gives a shit, there's no one coming to save you

MysticDevice · Answer

Being blamed for offenses I didn't commit because of the "pAtRiArCHy"

Deserter2 · Answer

All these bullshit expectations and concepts that don't apply to women. Being a loser, a coward, a virgin, working minimum wage. If you're a wman it doesn't matter

Likes2drive · Answer

All responsibility is put on us and it’s very stressful and nobody usually helps us

Crazzyyworld · Answer

well, they have to make $. otherwise they don't get no sex. no money no honey

gag6474 · Answer

having higher libido then women and being more agressive and lazier

ICanSmellTheCosmos · Answer

Being viewed as bad, dangerous, and stupid by default.

Geraldine999 · Answer

Having to be Strong All the Time, Society's Expectation

Anonymous · Answer

I touched a penis and I could not imagine walking around with one in my pants, it would piss me off

ManInChains · Answer

Having no choice but to put up with women

Anonymous · Answer

Lugging around 2 huge testicles without rearranging in public when uncomfortable.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

This question breaks my mind

The_Confusion · Answer

Having life so easy

paledreams · Answer

Fights or brawls and injuries even butch women

Juxtapose · Answer

Nobody cares how you feel generally.

Iron_Man · Answer

Paying for everything alone

msc545 · Answer

Dealing with women.

grega239 · Answer

you're on your own

Inthelines · Answer

It is an honor to be a man

noohair · Answer

Walking a straight line in a crooked world.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Women.

Hotboy_booblover · Answer

The fear of being a loser

MasterKS · Answer

Being skilful in sex and perform!

slatyb · Answer

Prostate cancer

LiamJHayden · Answer

Nothing.

Anonymous · Answer

Baring the burden of society expectations

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Expectations

What is the most difficult part of being a man?

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