What would cause a man to go from passionate kisses to barely any affection?

[Anonymous]

my middle-aged boyfriend of about 2.5 months seems less affectionate each time I see him & it’s starting to concern me.

We used to sit & hold hands & he put his arm around me & we would have some very passionate kisses. Each time I see him, there’s less of that physical affection. He no longer kisses me. It went from passionate kisses on the mouth to a kiss on the forehead & now nothing. when we sit together, I’ll lean my head on his shoulder & kind of rub his arm. He used to lay his head against my head in return & hold my hand,, but now he doesn’t do that. Last night I got annoyed bc I tried to snuggle up against him while we were sitting &he did not return any affection. We don’t have sex. He lives with his mother. One time he told me that he wanted to ask me to stay over, but his mother was in a bad mood. He’s never brought it up since then.

he always gives me a goodnight hug. Last night when I left, I made no effort to give him his hug & he said ‘what? no hug?” I said I didn’t think he would want to hug. I forget what he said, but I gave him a Hug. I asked “Why don’t you kiss me anymore?” he stayed silent, so I asked him if he still liked me & he said “yes, ma’am”. I cringed so bad. I said “I guess you just like me as a friend”, & he said it wasn’t true. I asked him if I had done anything wrong & he said no. I have so many scenarios going through my head as to what the problem is, whether he’s secretly gay, impotent, etc. I know there’s no other woman. He has no drivers license so he can’t go anywhere. He’s not bringing anybody else to the house bc his mother contacts me a lot about how he’s because I’m the only person he’s socializes with (he barely talks to her) so she knows there’s nobody coming to the house except me. the thing is, he’s planning to go on vacation with me. I’ve heard him make sexual innuendos before, so he has an interest in sex, but never initiates it with me & when I start rubbing on his leg & up towards his crotch, he doesn’t respond.

Updates

1 y

I texted him after I left his house last night and told him that he should just be honest if he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore or tell me if there’s some other woman he’s hoping to pursue. He texted me back, but I’m too afraid to read it. Not knowing why he’s acting the way he is is hurting me so much and I would rather he just explain himself, even if it’s gonna hurt me with the truth.

[laraWM]

It could be so many things, you should read it

[Asker]

I feel like it’s just gonna be him dismissing my questions & giving a non-answer, or him saying he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore (if he ever did). He’s told me in the past that he loves me, but I don’t know if I believe him now. I should add that we’ve known each other for about a year, but didn’t start dating till this past July.

[laraWM]

If you feel you want to stop seeing him, then just tell him. Otherwise, I think you should read waht he wrote

[Anonymous]

2.5 months? Y’all barely know eachother. Maybe he’s just getting comfortable and the honeymoon phase is wearing off. Relationships aren’t how they were at the beginning forever.

[Asker]

Dating just a few months, but known each other almost a year

[bowenw]

It's difficult to say, but perhaps he is gay.

[holhartedly]

Are the 2 of you between the ages listed on your question? If yes then why does his mother have any say in your relationship with him?

[Asker]

I’m in my late 30s

[Avicenna]

Stress, psychological issues could cause this

[Asker]

That would make sense. Because he’s been under a lot of stress. I’ve known him for almost a year, so we’re new to dating, but not new to knowing about each other. He went through a very bad depressive episode a while back and only recently got out of it. But he’s been like his old self now, as far as being cheerful and goofy and upbeat, for three weeks now.

[Avicenna]

Be patient, it can take time for him to fully feel comfortable enough to make himself vulnerable