Why would a guy try so hard to have *** with you? Why not try with someone who’s more open to it?

[Anonymous]

He knows I won’t be having *** with him but he just said he wants me to be more open minded. Do you think he thinks he can finally pressure me into it?

had to use *** because it won’t allow me to post adult content

[Oliverlogan263]

Sista, this dude ain't worth the time of day if all he cares about is pressuring you into stuff you ain't ready for. It ain't cool or caring of him to keep pushing like that when you've made your boundaries clear.

Some guys get a kick out of the chase, like it's some big conquest to wear a girl down. But that disrespect will only lead to hurt feelings in the long run. You deserve someone who cares about your comfort as much as their own needs, and respects "no" the first time.

Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about having limits, or like you gotta prove yourself. You owe this dude NOTHING. His pushiness is a huge red flag - seems like all he's "interested" in is what's between your legs, not who you are as a person.

You do exactly what feels right for YOU on your own timeline, and tell him if he can't accept that then y'all should stay friends. Real men won't play games like this. Block his number and find better company, sis. You're worth so much more than being someone's challenge.

[MrOracle]

I would say for one of two reasons:

1. He's totally in love with you (and if this is why, you'd know it), OR

2. He's a player type who prides himself on being able to sleep with almost any girl he wants, and he enjoys the challenge of convincing a girl who initially rejects him. That doesn't mean he actually has feelings for her - it's more about the challenge than it is about the girl herself.

[Asker]

Ah okay well he’s lost out anyway I’ve cut all contact with him and blocked him.

Do you think he’s bothered at all? Or will he just move onto the next one?

[MrOracle]

He will likely move on quickly.

[Asker]

Yep 🤷🏽‍♀️

[OlderAndWiser]

Select the Sexuality category and you can post sexual matters. Although you have "coded" the sexual questions, it is rather obvious, so I will change the category for you.

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes he’s going to pressure you into it.


You can type “sex” on gag, it’s ok

[Asker]

Ahh okay I think he probably thinks I’d give in

[BarryLiverstone]

Probably. Lots of girls say no and then after a while might give in once they fall in love.

[BarryLiverstone]

Does he think you are close minded?

[Asker]

Ah I get you. He knows Its a personal choice & im still a virgin. I’m not sure but he says he feels sorry for me that I’ve never tried it

[BarryLiverstone]

If he knows that you are a virgin then he may pressure you. But he may also want to flirt with you mentally and see how much you can think sexually without having to act on it.

How do you feel about him?

[Asker]

Ah okay sorry I didn’t understand when you said ‘But he may also want to flirt with you mentally and see how much you can think sexually without having to act on it’ What do you mean by this?

I did really like him but just feel we aren’t compatible 🤷🏽‍♀️ sex is really important to him and seems like he’d just go off and get it from somewhere else. I wouldn’t be much use to him.

[BarryLiverstone]

Go ahead and follow me on here and I can further explain what I mean beyond simply answering your question. I was saying he may want to flirt with limits

[BarryLiverstone]

Sex isn’t a requirement early in a relationship. And lots of intimacy doesn’t require intercourse anyway

[Asker]

I have followed you, thank you I appreciate that. Ah okay no worries he did mention the first day we spoke that he wants a cuddle and then mentioned recently he wants a kiss. Then over the phone he said he likes neck kisses and back massages so he’s slowly bringing it in

[BarryLiverstone]

Ya, that is normal flirting because he is communicating with you and suggesting fun actions he could do with you while he’s thinking about you. In a way he is escalating but as a guy he wants to do this because if he doesn’t then you might feel bored right? Like if he never shared this you might start to question if he’s into you

[BarryLiverstone]

No one is a mind reader. You have already told him that you are a virgin so that establishes a boundary. If you don’t want him to touch you below the neck or waist, then let him know once you start to kiss.

[Asker]

Oh okay I understand that does make sense. I think where I was confused was how come when he knows I won’t have sex with him, is he okay to continue other sexual stuff with me and not go that far? Other girls may have fell for it but I am strict in my boundaries.

He also said ‘I just want you to be more open to it doesn’t mean we’re going to do stuff tomorrow’

[BarryLiverstone]

One reason why he said it is because he wants to know how long he needs to wait for intercourse with you. There is a difference between waiting 6 months or waiting 10 years right?

[Asker]

Ah okay I understand and yes I don’t think he waits around for long, if he can’t get it from one person he just finds it elsewhere!