Why is he ringing on no caller id at times he KNOWS I won’t pick up?

[Anonymous]

I have cut contact with him, he’s now ringing on no caller id after 2 weeks. He rings at very strange times. The times he knows I will be asleep. What is the point? I’m sure he just rings & cuts it off so it becomes a missed call. My phone is on loud & I never hear it.

[Anonymous]

The point is probably to remind you why you had to cut him off lol this is very childish behavior for a man in his 30s. Anyway, I’d put a stop to that immediately because it would give me the ick that this man-child wants to play on my phone at ridiculous hours. I’d silence unknown callers (google it if you want) so that if has the balls to call again it better be from some caller ID. UNLESS you’re still into him after all this I’d have to say… girl, what is wrong with you?🙃

[Asker]

I haven’t put my proper age on here I’m 28 and he's 25. Reason why I don’t want to silence no caller is because I’m applying for jobs and sometimes they ring through that. Or doctors etc. well I did cut it off with him so maybe he’d feel like a dickhead if he reaches out? I dont know. I am still into him 😕 I know I don’t know some guys are just really good at playing

[Opinion Owner]

Even in his 20s — he’s a grown man. Trust me, I know all about liking or wanting a guy who you probably shouldn’t. But there has to come a point where your sense of value outweighs how much you like the guy, and to realize he isn’t treating you how you deserve.

I don't know about you, but towards my late 20s I knew one thing I wanted in a man was someone who wasn’t too proud. Men can be ridiculous sometimes, or do things that are clearly wrong, and when they recognize their wrongness they should be man enough to admit it. Wouldn’t you agree that this is fair standard for you to require, especially if you have no problem owning your fuckups too? We don’t know for 100% certainty he’s the one calling, it just makes the most sense. But if it is him, then I don’t think it’s wise to invest more energy to a man who can’t be straightforward. You’d be dealing with his inability to say sorry for the rest of your time with him and that’s miserable.

[Asker]

Yeah definitely he is a grown man and it’s ridiculous what he’s doing. Absolutely I know my worth and that’s why I cut him off. I wouldn’t fall for it.

Yeah I’m the same, I know what I want in a guy and it’s not him. He can’t admit his wrongness so I can’t even have an adult mature conversation with him never mind date him. Totally it is a requirement and I absolutely admit when I’ve done wrong. It’s how relationships work.

It’s definitely him calling, I never get no caller ids unless it’s doctors or jobs. He’s been ringing late hours in night so can’t be any of them. Absolutely I would never go through with that. Can you believe he’s the one who actually asked me to apologise 🤷🏽‍♀️ after he did wrong. Obvs I didn’t.

[Opinion Owner]

So if we can conclude that it’s him, and if he believes that you’d suspect him as well, then honestly this just feels like his inability to communicate on full display. He doesn’t really want you to answer, because he doesn’t want to call in the first place, hence him reaching out at hours you wouldn’t answer and doing it from a blocked number so you (technically) can’t say he called. Which is totally his pride not wanting you to have that leverage.

Along with that, it sounds he doesn’t “feel” wrong, and if you know that he is then that’s a problem. You’re just better off without this person in your orbit.

[Asker]

Thank you that’s a really intelligent answer you’ve given me some really good advice. I totally agree he’s literally ringing and cutting off so basically it’s a missed call. He doesn’t want it to go through.

He basically has too much pride like you said and wants to have that control and hold the higher position. He wants me to reach out to him.

Agreed he doesn’t feel wrong and it is out of order because he is so we wouldn’t be able to get a long

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly, and if we’re being honest, another call or two from him would have probably made you reach out. Mainly because you still like him and as the days go past, you become less and less bothered by whatever the issue was. Our minds can really work against us when we’re missing someone, gaslighting ourselves about the situation. ‘It wasn’t that bad’ ‘he’s always overreacting, he couldn’t have really meant that’ ‘maybe he wasn’t completely wrong, I WAS doing ab and c’. We can easily rationalize our way right back into initiating contact when we miss them.

But this is one of those things where you’ve got to be firm and act in your own best interest. This guy needs to grow up, and something you have to realize is that you may not be the woman he’s meant to do that with. It could be years until he’s man enough to be a proper boyfriend, and you wouldn’t want to look back at the weeks/months/years you spent waiting for that to happen and never get that experience.

I like my time and not having it wasted much more than liking a man, and this is a good opportunity for you to adopt the same standard. You deserve it.

[Asker]

You’re honestly so right. He even said to me when we first started speaking that he likes how understanding I am. So he knows if he reached out properly I’d hear him out. Absolutely, I deleted him off everywhere the same day because I just knew that I don’t want to be in that cycle. I know he’s on the wrong and I have enough self respect to not continue with it when he’s lying.

Absolutely, he really isn’t the guy I’m looking for. He will experience whatever he needs to over the years to become the guy for the woman he’s meant to be with. I however already know what I want and I’m ready to settle with the person I’m meant to be with.

So true, I agree. Time is so important more than anything. I’d rather manifest the qualities I want in a future partner.

[Opinion Owner]

So true! You are very sound minded and mature about your approach to all this, so good on you. And good on you as well for having the restraint to ignore him and the self-respect to stick to it, because a lot of women would cave by now.

Especially if he isn’t a “bad” guy. I think that’s where a lot of women get it confused though, like he can be a good guy, aka good person in general, but as a boyfriend/partner he just sucks.

[Asker]

Thank you ☺️ I really can’t be bothered with any drama or nonsense in my life to be honest. I would rather keep busy with hobbies and making plans. So true! Cos he’s been subtle with reaching out & sly in his own way. Another girl could have given in by now but I’m sticking to my boundaries.

I’ve never thought about it like that, can a guy behave like how he has been but still be a good person in general to his family/ friends etc? That’s made me curious I think I see things black and white sometimes. Like I think if someone lies they’ll do it to everyone etc.

Thanks for all your help by the way ☺️

[spartan55]

He's calling for sex. That's the point.