My boyfriend said I'm "delusional" for thinking I'm an hourglass. Is this negging or I'm just overthinking?

[Anonymous]

I was talking to my boyfriend and told him about a somewhat weird incident wherein a friend (girl) I was talking to in college complimented me and told me that I'm a "perfect hourglass", and that my body is her dream body. I told my boyfriend about it, and he said that I shouldn't be so "delusional" and actually think I'm an hourglass. I asked him what he meant, and he said that my boobs are medium sized, my hips aren't that wide so I'm not an hourglass, just a curvier rectangle. I was crushed hearing that, but at the same time wondered if he was trying to neg me, because I've never been told I'm a rectangle before. Also I've struggled with an eating disorder in the past so I'm already pretty insecure about my body. I was extremely happy about the weight I've gained and the progress I've made so far, but it all felt invalidated when he told me I'm a "curvier rectangle". Is he actually negging me or I'm just overthinking?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, that was totally uncalled for of him to say. From the sounds of it, your friend was just giving you a genuine compliment.

I wouldn't call what your boyfriend said "negging" necessarily, but it was definitely rude and hurtful to invalidate how you see yourself like that. Especially knowing about your past struggles.

Of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but he didn't need to harsh your vibe and tear down your progress. It's okay to feel crushed - I would be too in your shoes.

Maybe have a chat with him about being more supportive and sensitive about these topics? If he cares, he'll work on it. His job is lifting you up, not putting you down over silly body labels. Hold your head high sis - you've come such a long way already!

Don't let one comment undo your self worth. You know your body best - if you like what you see, that's all that really matters. Keep focusing on loving yourself exactly as you are.

[spartan55]

No idea since you didn't include a pic

[Avicenna]

What type of communication style does he have?

[Anonymous]

he sounds like a dickhead