The guy I like uses sex workers?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy when I first moved in to my apartment and he helped me move some furniture in and showed me around the local areas as I was new to the city. I thought it was really sweet of him and I started to crush on him a lot.

He's a little older by 7 years and he said he was scared when he got his first apartment in the city alone and wanted to be able to help me so it wasn't so scary as it was for him at my age.

Now whenever I need some help with anything in my apartment I'll ask him and cook dinner for him sometime to say thank you. Sometime I found myself making up excuses to get him over for dinner.

He I think he thinks of me as a little sister he's always giving me silly little nicknames and trying to play pranks on me. I'm very petite and he makes fun of my height and sometimes treats me like a child because of this.

Last Monday I went up to his place to ask to borrow a screwdriver off him. I don't usually enter his place but he said if I ever needed anything like that he was happy for me to help myself.

The door was unlocked and I caught him and a girl in the act. I apologised and quickly got out and ran back to my place.

The next morning he comes knocking on my door I felt very embarrassed and apologised again. He said there was no reason for me to apologise and he'd actually came to say sorry and that he should have let me know that he planned have company over night. He asked what I needed and the conversation of him having a girlfriend came up. He said that girl wasn't his girlfriend so I assumed she was just a hook up he said "no she's a sex worker" I couldn't hide my opinion and i pretty much said everything I needed to say with my face alone.

He said I shouldn't judge and that he finds it easier than going out and finding someone. He said he doesn't want a girlfriend or attachments.

I unconvincingly pretended to be cool with it but it really broke my heart and afterwards I thought of him differently as this sleazy guy almost.

Updates

1 y

Now it's super awkward in the hallways and he still asks if I need help with anything. I think he can tell I'm disappointed in him and don't really want much to do with him anymore. I still fancy him and think he's a nice guy but it's changed how I view him and how I think he may view me now. I feel like I was led on and I'm pretty mad at him too for that

[236color]

I'm a married man, and I love my wife, but honestly I understand why a guy in today's world would do this. Many women seem to set impossibly high standard, view a relationship as a money making opportunity and feel that sex is a burden they should not have to endure. Whe hiring a sex worker, both parties no why they are there. The expense is most likely lower than have a woman live in and have total control of your finances. A sex worker has no desire to have your child and will work diligently to make sure that doesn't happen, nor expect you to support it, if it does. Ladies, you're just becoming too difficult to deal with.

[spartan55]

Led on? I that's a VERY big reach on your part. You were the one cooking him dinner etc. I don't know any dude who would just straight up tell you that was a sex worker. Seems very odd to me. Let's be honest, if it was a fuck buddy you would have gotten on your moral high horse too.

[Asker]

Yes I cooked him dinner because he offered his help towards me and I fancied him there's worse things I could have done than that.

I didn't see him helping any of the other new people so why was he so drawn toward the young, single women who lived by herself and not the little old man who also moved in near us

[Asker]

I know I didn't mention the old man before but it just popped into my head now I'm thinking about it more

[spartan55]

You don't know that he didn't help anyone else, you just never saw it. Anyways, that is not leading you on.

[AviatorTom]

How did he lead you on? You said he treated you like a little sister, nothing more. In his situation, not wanting a relationship, but still having sexual needs, a sex worker seems reasonable.

You seem to have a negative view of a sex worker, he does not.

[Asker]

I don't have negative view of sex workers. I pity them. I feel sorry for these young girls out there selling there souls to men they don't love.

I think sex is for people in love if you don't love the person you have sex with then things can get messy quickly. What if he got that sex worker pregnant would he support her I doubt not especially after he said he wants no attachments. What if he caught something off her and has sex again and gives it to someone else.

Sex isn't the same for men as it is for women. Things go wrong its the women's responsibility and she's the one whose shamed by society

[Asker]

Maybe I was wrong to say I felt led on especially with the little sister comment but that's just how I feel, I feel angry with him because he just sees me as a little girl but sees other women as sex holes. He should treat all women the same

[AviatorTom]

You might want to rephrase that last sentence. I'm sure you don't want to be seen as a "sex hole."
You know, there's nothing wrong with treating people differently. We have family, friends, colleagues, enemies, etc. It's common to treat people differently

[slatyb]

Don't be so quick to judge. What's sleazy about that? Outcall sex workers chose to do sex work. They provide a service for money just like any other professional. You may reasonably be disappointed, as he appears to not be looking for a relationship.

[Ironic_Method]

Prostitution is the oldest profession for a reason. People see it as sleazy, but really it's just like any other exchange between two consenting adults. It's better for him to pay a girl for good service than to lead a girl on for sex, in my opinion.

[OlofssonBengtsson]

He's just paying to get the poison out of his system. at least he's honest with you.

[Asker]

I appreciate the honesty but at doesn't mean it didn't feel like a gut punch when he told me this

[OlofssonBengtsson]

You know he is only looking for hookups and sex? he said doesn't want a girlfriend. If you're not looking to be his friends with benefits then just move on. He laid everything out for you.

[Asker]

Hookups is none of my business I don't agree with Hookup culture but it's none of my business. Bringing sex workers into an apartment complex that myself and others live in is very selfish and inconsiderate. We don't know there situation or who they work for. It's a nice area and he doesn't need to bring it down. Call me a snob I don't care but I'm sure if it was your neighbour in a family friendly area you wouldn't be to happy either

[Anonymous]

Just out of curiosity, would you have found it equally sleazy if it was a hookup? Or would you have been cool with that?

[Asker]

Not sure with hookup but at least he'd actually took the time to speak to the women and possibly get to know her a little

[Opinion Owner]

Interesting. I don't blame you for judging him. But from a male perspective, if a girl I fancied was sleeping around I'd likely lose interest. If she paid for it or any details on who the guy was would be irrelevant. But for you, the sleeping around becomes gross when money is involved? Or does it feel like he's objectifying the prostitute or something?

[Asker]

I think it's definitely objectifying side of it. Like he can't build a relationship with a woman he just sees them as a hole he can put in his pickle in

[Asker]

It makes me think was he only talking to me because he wanted sex too

[Opinion Owner]

LOL the pickle phrase is funny. Isn't it the same with hookups though? He wouldn't be building meaningful relationship with them, just convincing them to do the same thing a prostitute would for free.

[Asker]

No because at least he's gotten to know them and actually made a little bit of effort

[jahaims]

No question