How do I help my husband grow when he has narcissistic tendancies?

[Anonymous]

I truly believe my husband has some narcissistic tendencies and trying to talk to him about it is like banging my head against a stone wall. For starters he pretty much thinks that “narcissist” is just a social media word throne around by snowflakes who are starved for attention.

I genuinely feel like his inflated pride won’t allow him to take legitimate accountability for anything. He always finds a way to justify his bad behavior. And even on tiny trivial disagreements where he has no proof on his own behalf he insists that he is right and I am wrong. There is no room in his mind for the that that he may have been in the wrong.

Every time we fight and I think “this time he needs to apologize to me first because he really hurt me.” A little voice in my head starts to list off all the ways that I could have been better and I ultimately am the first to break the ice and apologize. I will always find SOMETHING to apologize for. I might even be overly accountable to the point where I think I might be enabling my husband in this way.

I dont know what I can do to help facilitate an environment where he can grow and improve in this area.

[Anonymous]

Ok in that entire narrative that you wrote you gave no actual examples of what he did or said. You said you think this time he needs to apologize to you, but you did t say what exactly happened. I’m not taking his side but you need to elaborate more. From what you described doesn’t sound narcissistic to me. A lot of women tend to throw that word around but they don’t even have the slightest clue of what it means. Usually women throw that around when a man tells a woman no or something of that he doesn’t want her going to the clubs.

[Intheclouds00]

You cannot. It is an incurable and untreatable condition. He doesn't have the capability of growing and he will chew your empath ass up, spit you out and reel you back in for more. Over and over. You will eventually lose all your friends and family and never come close to being normal again or even remember what normal is, even after they are long gone, which you wilk have to make happen. He will never truly leave.

[ChicoFromThe305]

There's no reasoning with a true narcissist, scientifically they lack the ability to think about anyone else but themselves, the only thing that separates them from psychopathy is that they have sympathy, just for themselves 😂

[ChicoFromThe305]

Point is that if he really is a narcissist, then you are actually better off talking to the wall.

[spartan55]

Everyone is a narcissist... or autistic, has ADHD, an introvert, has anxiety, is in a toxic relationship... etc, etc.

[slatyb]

There's nothing 60u can do except decide whether to stay or to go. Been there. My recommendation is to end it. There's no joy for you there.

[glennos89]

Better run and run fast