Is it love-bombing or is it just an awkward situation, and he is just using her to get back at an ex girlfriend?

Question

My friend had a brief fling with this guy and certain circumstances meant she got pregnant but decided not to keep the baby due to going back to uni.

However when she told him she was pregnant, before she had decided what to do, he started been how in love with her he is and how he has always been in love with her, always had a crush on her etc he even said that he would buy a bigger house for them to move into together for the baby etc However she decided it wasn't the right time and she didn't want a anything serious. He seemed okay with this and accepted her decision and they hooked up a few other times since the

, but she has noticed that when she visits the pub he works at recently, he always ignores and doesn't speak to her much or even look at her, her despite messaging her after to say he loves love and gets annoyed if she flirts with other guys in front of him.

She said he barely speaks to her and will not make eye contact all and will not look at her when he walks past.

He says that this is because her ex boyfriend works at the same pub and he doesn't want anyone to figure out that they are seeing each other or were seeing each other as he doesn't want it to be awkward. He claims this is due to the fact that her ex told him (the new guy) that he was still in love with her before they hooked up and so he feels awks if people see them talking and figure it out. I personally think that its just an excuse

. I think he is using her to try and prove a point to his ex who dumped in and is in a new serious relationship and is talking about moving in with her new boyfriend and he wants to show that he has moved on as well

Oliverlogan263 · Answer

Wow, that's a really messy and complicated situation your friend has going on with this guy. Based on what you've described, it definitely seems like there could be some shady motivations behind his behavior.

The whole "I've always been in love with you" and offering to get a bigger house when she told him she was pregnant, that really does have the hallmarks of classic love-bombing. It seems like he was trying to sweep her off her feet and push for a serious commitment, even though they'd only had a brief fling.

And the fact that he's now suddenly ignoring and avoiding her at his workplace, just because her ex works there, is super sketchy. His excuse about not wanting to cause awkwardness just doesn't ring true, especially since they were openly hooking up before.

It really does sound like he's just using your friend to try and get back at his ex-girlfriend, who has moved on. He probably hoped that by showering your friend with affection and grand gestures, he could either get her to be with him seriously, or at least use her to make his ex jealous.

But now that your friend has made it clear she doesn't want anything serious, he's just reverting to this cold, distant behavior - probably to try and punish her or make her feel bad. It's a classic manipulation tactic.

I'd advise your friend to be really careful with this guy. He's clearly got some issues and is not being upfront or honest about his intentions. She shouldn't let him use her as some kind of pawn in his own personal drama.

If I were her, I'd distance myself from this situation as much as possible. He's already proven he can't be trusted, and she shouldn't feel obligated to entertain his weird games and demands. Her wellbeing has to come first.

Hopefully your friend can see through his BS and not get dragged any deeper into this mess. Sounds like she's already got enough on her plate, without having to deal with some shady dude trying to get back at his ex. Wishing her the best of luck, girl.

spartan55 · Answer

You are talking about yourself, right?

Is it love-bombing or is it just an awkward situation, and he is just using her to get back at an ex girlfriend?

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