If a guy is interested in a girl, would he go a few days without messaging her on his own?

[coxoabean]

if a guy is interested in a girl, would he go a few days without messaging her, even if he is active on that messaging app? Do guys sometimes go a bit without messaging you to see if you will message him first or care that you guys aren't talking, even if you guys aren't dating but he is interested in you?

[MicahRaine]

Yes.

I've definitely done that. Usually it's because I'm really busy or I feel like I'm being a bother or I just don't want to be leading the conversation all the time

[Unit1]

Do not misinterpret this as a mind game when i say this but this is how we can evaluate the girl's true interest in us. An interested girl will pop up to us for once.

[coxoabean]

Ok, so basically, he could be doing this to see if I will message him so he can know if I'm truly interested in him? He has told me in the past that he gets really worried because he has had bad experiences where girls told him that it was weird how nice he was, that they felt like he was just manipulative. So he told me that has affected him because he doesn't know how to act then bc he's afraid to ruin things. I'm not sure if this could be the reason, but we were literally talking fine the last time we talked. He even had just got through telling me he would love it if I went to help him clean and organize his work van for him, and he said "you can even decorate it too". So I just dont know bc it wouldn't make sense for him to just ghost me

[coxoabean]

His birthday is tomorrow, and so I was planning in telling him happy birthday, but I'm also scared I'll annoy him

[Unit1]

Happy birthday as "first contact" doesn't count, girl.

He might have developed social anxiety from bitter experiences.

[spartan55]

@coxoabean
Annoy him by wishing him a happy birthday? Stop being ridiculous. Do it, he'll love it.

[coxoabean]

@spartan55 I'm not trying to be ridiculous:/

[coxoabean]

Yeah, your probably right. I guess I just worrytoo much too because of past experiences. I don't want him to think I don't want to talk to him either, especially if he hashed bad experiences

[spartan55]

By saying you don't want to annoy him you ARE being ridiculous.

[spartan55]

Talk to him when you feel like it and stop worrying.

[coxoabean]

@spartan55 ok fine, I'll message him now

[Unit1]

Remember, being out of the blue is key in this context. You don't need excuses or passes to make first contact.

[spartan55]

Set something up to help clean his work van or whatever.

[coxoabean]

Ok, ya true. Also may I ask, why do you think he would ask me to send him pictures of everything I make? Like he knows I like to bake, do art, draw, and make all kinds of things. He would often tell me, "send pics of the stuff you make". He told me to just send pics of everything. He too would often send me pictures of himself or just what he was working in at work

[coxoabean]

@spartan55 he lives in Nebraska though:/ and I live in texas. I wanted to see about flying out to see him, but we've only been talking for 2 weeks, so I was going to see about waiting a bit tio talk to him about meeting up

[spartan55]

Ugh, why are you even bothering? No guys left in Texas?

[coxoabean]

@spartan55 there are guys in tx, but I like how he is. I dint have to talk to someone in tx

[Unit1]

He wants to see the stuff you make. Why? Ask him but not like "Why do you want to see my stuff?" but "I may show you my stuff. And I want to know your interest in my stuff" in a non-defensive manner that is.
Now I'm out of consultation. I can't help with long distance relationships. I don't do these.

[spartan55]

Ooookay...

[Aurav22]

God bless guy who going to deal with this toxic brainless girl

[coxoabean]

@Aurav22 excuse me?

[coxoabean]

@Aurav22 some of you people on here I think just like saying the rudest stuff you can think of just to be mean, without even trying to understand the person or what's going on.

[DECENTSCOTTISHGUY9]

As a guy myself it won't annoy him he will love it you saying happy birthday to him no need to be scared

[Unit1]

Aurav22 blocked

[coxoabean]

@DECENTSCOTTISHGUY9 ok, thank you so much! I took yalls advice and messaged him, and he answered me! Hopefully we will continue to chat, and get along and I'll see about arranging something to fly and see him and also help him with his work van:)

[DECENTSCOTTISHGUY9]

Fantastic as a guy myself l know the way our male brains work l knew in my own mind that he would answer you like the male human brain is not fully grown till we reach 25 years old you two will continue to talk take things slow take care and enjoy wish you both a Merry Christmas from Scotland

[coxoabean]

@DECENTSCOTTISHGUY9 thank you so much and for your kindness 😊 I hope we continue to talk, he seems like a good guy. Also, I wish you a merry Christmas as well! If I could select your opinion as most helpful I would, so thank you again!

[DECENTSCOTTISHGUY9]

Dont worry when he said tou you about

Dont worry take it from me the guy does want you in his life he was been a bit reserved just like l am and he will be a bit shy like myself till he gets to know you more l will say he broke the ice by saying something along the lines about cleaning the works van and to decorate and l will be very honest with you he has been sitting there at home thinking that he had lost you he never knew what to do he was scared as well thats why l said to you to contact him as you said he would not ghost you as there was no good reason for him to do that to you take things slow and things will work out between you two take care from Scotland and this is my first day on Girls Ask Guys l am new on here things are meant in life and its now 5.12 am

[DECENTSCOTTISHGUY9]

Evening l hope you are having a nice day l would like you to wish him a very Happy Birthday today nothing for you to be scared about just think that you are talking to me we are both able to talk with each other in a normal fasshion he will wonder why you have not said Happy Birthday to him today and you do intend to fly out to him at some point soon l can be a bit shy and reserved at times as well Scottish people can be like that untill we get to know the person l am very aware what you are going through l have lost out to a few woman as well l dont want you to loss out to the guy that you more than like please wish the guy a nice Happy Birthday and if you wish pop down two little kisses as well that will more than make his day that will tell him everything

[coxoabean]

@DECENTSCOTTISHGUY9 Thank you for the reminder! Last night, I designed a card for him and sent it to him early this morning!

[DECENTSCOTTISHGUY9]

Fantastic thats what l like to hear like l have said just take things slow and he has not developed social anxiety and dont be scared to message him you can ask him for his Email if you dont have it yet as you know he is still waiting for you to be there to help him to clean out the van and to decorate as he is really saying l would love to see you here with me its all a hint with a little glint in his eye only for you

[coxoabean]

@DECENTSCOTTISHGUY9 okk, and how much time do you think is enough to wait to talk to him about going to see him to clean his van?

[sage2021]

I have to agree with another opinion on here.

The time he used to spend messaging you - he's now spending that time messaging someone else.

Sorry to say that but there are just so many hours in the day and if someone new has caught his interest then he's spending more time getting to know her.

He's shifted his time to someone else.

[coxoabean]

Ok:( he could just be busy tho? Or seeing if I'll message him first?

[sage2021]

@coxoabean

If what you say is true then he's just playing mind games with you and it's obviously working because you came here for us to help you figure out what he's up to.
This lets see who messages first is a mind game. A solid relationship with someone doesn't play mind games with you.

[coxoabean]

Okk, we aremt really in a relationship, just friends. But I do like him

[Aurav22]

Absolutely genius you women's are landed from heaven you're queen princess angel men should waif thousands of years tp get your reply 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[sage2021]

@Aurav22
Thank you for your kind words 🧁🙂

[DECENTSCOTTISHGUY9]

Yes thats true go on message him first if you do like him

[spartan55]

Well the girl went a few days without messaging too. Is she interested.

[coxoabean]

She could be yes

[coxoabean]

But I don't know guys are different then girls

[spartan55]

Different in what sense?

[DECENTSCOTTISHGUY9]

Yes she is

[YourExLover69]

If I'm interested in a babe I will chat with her as much as possible with as quick as possible replies unless there is internet interruptions. Sometimes I prefer her to message me too not everytime I'm the one initiating chats/texts.😊 That way things works better and long lasting 😊

[BarryLiverstone]

If he’s been active on the app he may be texting others. What is his pattern? Did he used to send you messages everyday?

[coxoabean]

Yes he used to message me everyday. But before he stopped messaging we were having such a great conversation

[BarryLiverstone]

I’m not sure you can have a great conversation with someone you met two weeks ago and talk to all day. While it may be possible to create a friendship irl or online, it’s quite unbalanced to start like that. We all have responsibilities and people to rely on in our lives. Whether he’s interested or you are in something romantic I would recommend not being so “eggs in one basket” after 2 weeks. Unfortunately it’s not likely to work out longterm. Sorry if that’s blunt and not optimistic but I’m trying to be honest and truthful.

[BarryLiverstone]

To answer your original question yes, a guy who wants to build a romantic relationship with a girl will take space and could go days without communicating as his entire life isn’t around her when he first meets her. He should be busy in other aspects and slowly add her to his life; not rely on her as the only outlet

[coxoabean]

Thank you, I appreciate your opinion! Yes, I will try and take things slow, I guess I am just worried bc he seems like such a good guy and I don't want to lose an opportunity with a good guy

[bowenw]

If a guy is really interested he normally wouldn't do that. It could be a red flag that he's moody or a player.

[Dongie]

If he thinks that's what is needed to seal the deal. I'm wondering how to pronounce your name.

[coxoabean]

How to pronounce my name?

[Dongie]

coxoabean

[coxoabean]

Oh lol it's just cocoa bean but I thought it'd be different to put an x instead of a c

[Dongie]

Ok, that's cool, too.

[Aurav22]

Yes If she ignored me n reply late then boss my ego come to play... I go years without even looking at her..

[AlinaJanowska18]

I think no , but there are all kinds of stupid "sigma male" bloggers who advise to do so, and stupid people listen to them

[DECENTSCOTTISHGUY9]

In my case l would keep in contact with her and message her

[ehatsham_hussain]

I don't think it's normal behaviour.

[coxoabean]

May I ask why

[ehatsham_hussain]

It's just my common opinion on the base of your post.,

[coxoabean]

Okk thanks

[Wise4myage]

Sure, a few days is no big deal.

[Cubus]

No, unless he had a good reason.

[WilliamPamer446]

Yes he's just trying to give you space

[WilliamPamer446]

Hit me up and I'll explain more nuance

[eagle1951]

probably not. I wouldn't

[Jennz6]

Maybe

[In_Trance]

probably not