Why is it so hard for a male to find a friends with benefits situation?

[Anonymous]

So I’m a male in my mid 20s and I’m more of the nice guy conversation type but I always see and hear from friends that are much more “aggressive” all these success story’s with girls. I thought a girl would want someone that’s more open to listening to what both parties want and can actually maintain a friends with benefits rather then a toxic guy that doesn’t care at all what the girl wants causing the situation to fall apart

[Abbycado]

Okay, so the whole being "friends" when it is all about (or in theory should be) sex might be your issue.

I am just guessing that girls that agree to that kind of relationship just want sex and not the other part. Again, just a guess.

[Asker]

I see what you mean, I just feel like a basic level of companionship or care about the person makes for better sex. Like imagine the guy is like I want it but the girl doesn’t but the girl feels inclined because of the agreement. By being a bit more close they could communicate that rather then it being this toxic thing

[Abbycado]

I agree with you, which is why I would never have a friends with benefits relationship. Not my type of thing.

[chrissykerdock]

i met a guy from a website i met him gave him a blowjob so we became friends with benefits it's fairly easy

[Asker]

Yes from the girl prospective , but you just chose a guy, a guy can’t just choose a girl. So what factors can a guy change the make it more likely or less likely etc

[chrissykerdock]

i got him from the internet you can do the same

[Anonymous]

Because unlike you, the vast majority of women are not LOOKING for friends with benefits. When it happens, it just happens. But not very often.

[spartan55]

Because friends with benefits is not a situation most girls prefer. Some do seem to get talked into it pretty easily though.

[mandyfire98]

I mean I have done the friends with benefits thing in the past and it was never with someone who was toxic.

[Indianagirl1980]

Maybe try seeking an actual relationship with a girl rather than this immature crap.

[Asker]

I agree Indian girl1980 I have tried that too the standard that a woman has for a male partner is either have your entire life together with a job that supports 2 people (in this economy lol) while also giving up your social desires to be consumed and assimilated into your partners oooor just being a fuck boy that has no ambition but feeds the sexual desires of the woman till she wants the other thing mentioned. I’ve dated in person and I’ve done apps too (11 of them) it’s all the same once you get to talking if you can even get there. And after all that the partner in question doesn’t meet the standards they ask, not even close, normally come with a lot of psychological mess. And I promise this isn’t just a few demographics, it’s very wide spread

[In_Trance]

It's not

[Asker]

Imagine downloading an app for discussion and putting this level of effort in, at that point why even jump into the topic..

[In_Trance]

See the part where you wrote "i thought" and everything after?

You're wrong.

Do what the others are doing. Would you like you coming on here and asking a question is looking to find out what works for others.
So , to answer your question of why it's so hard...
It's not

You're making it hard