Why would a guy turn down friends with benefits?

so i had been hanging out with this co worker
he would always call me to come over to his apartment
since day #! he made it clear that was not looking for a girlfriend and only liked me as a friend. As times started going on we started hugging, slow dancing without music, cuddling, and even grocery shopping and cooking for me. One night we were cuddling way to close and i sucked his neck, he told me that was his turn on point. So, i made a hicky on his neck and he touched my butt so i slightly slapped him and told him not to do it again. we laughed a lot that day. Next week, i went to his house after work because i didn't want to go home after a fight with my parents. He said i could sleep on his sofa but he would not move out of the sofa so that i could sleep, so i went to his bed and he went behind me. He said he was sleeping on his bed and started to get naked. One thing led to another we kissed and messed around, he wanted to have sex i told him i could not have sex lol... we had a great time and he told me he enjoyed it, But he also told me that he liked me as a friend, that was really hurt from his last relationship, that he enjoyed very much every time we got together, but he did not want to be sexual all the time, If the sexual thing happen once in a while it was fine. He finds me attractive but only as a friend that he did not know if maybe in the future he would want a relationships with me... who knows maybe.

Ever since he has been acting distant at work. so started ignoring him too. But he will stare from far specially when i walk in front of him, but he doesn't talk me.

What is going on?
i do not understand this guy!!!
i am trying to act normal, and i wish he understood that i am perfectly fine with what happened


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't see where friends with benefits was ever offered? When he touched your butt you told him not to do that again, then the other time he wanted sex and you told him no. From what I read, you are putting up the barriers, not him. Did I miss something?

    • Well he proposed to be friends with benefits i said no... but then obviously i was being playful and we started messing around. I kinda told him ssex would eventually happened, but when he walked to my car he said he likes as a friend, enjoys spending time with me, he is heartbroken and doesn't see a relationship any time soon, but who knows maybe in the future there could be one between us, and that he still wanted to hang out with me but he doesn't want to be sexual all the time

    • Well, I hope you find what you are looking for. Just be a good person and be there for him. All guys get horny eventually.

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What Guys Said 1

  • from the previous answers I've read from you+ what you've originally read, he was trying to get a friends with benefits situation going on and you turned him down then started playing games with him. And now you're confused as to why he's ignoring you?

    you cray.


What Girls Said 1

  • It looks like he wanted friends with benefits but you turned him down. Which is good if you want a serious relationship with the guy. He is obviously not ready for a relationship but he does seem to like you more than a friends. However he is doing that push and pull method where he wants you and then he doesn't. Now it seems like he pulled away completely. What do you want? a relationship or friends with benefits? If you want a relationship dont get to close to the guy because he isn't ready and if you don't then talk to him. However if he is being distant do the same and try to forget about the guy. Have fun with friends and enjoy work and be happy. Then he will see that you don't need him.