Maternal affair?

We are both married. We knew each other before our marriages, and have always been close friends. I guess it really turned to an emotional affair around 2016, that’s when our communication began to get hidden, as we were speaking more and more. Of course, ar this point it was platonic. I have been married 17 years, and my husband was the only man I had ever been with. I got with him young and we are still together. Throughout our marriage he had a very drug use, which he did kick in 2022, and has been clean since. He has also been very violent in the past, but this hasn’t been present since he stopped drugs. Ontop of that he’s also gay, or at least bisexual. And I often find him engaging in sexual activity with men. Why I stay, I have no idea. I don’t really have friends and I have no family. my ap has a happy family life; with a woman he adores, and a lovely normal outer family network with lots of friends, he’s very social. My ap was a breath of fresh air, the affair itself was some of the best years of my life. He ended it just over 8 months ago and I have never felt such deep rooted pain, I felt as though my soul had been sucked from my body. I was upset but I respected his decision and I have left him alone, despite my pain I never reached out. The past 8 weeks I’ve felt much more like myself, only now he’s returning in some minimal way, texting me now and then and inviting me out with mutual friends. I don’t believe it to be sex related as the situations he’s trying to create aren’t us alone. He says he wants us to remain friends, and would like to see me now and again. During the breakup, I told him I loved him, and he replied that he didn’t love me, but has feelings and will always be my friend. I’m confused with his return, why leave just to return some months later, I’m happy to have 0 sex, but can it really be done? I haven’t accepted his offers as of yet, but I would love to see him. I’ve done so much healing since he left, I don’t want him to undo it

Maternal affair?
Post Opinion