Is it a red flag if he doesn’t want me around when he’s annoyed?

[Anonymous]

My newly boyfriend (24M) and I have been friends for 5 years.
We are very similar and very different in ways.
My flirting is more like soft bullying and pulling his leg. He’s extremely sweet and sensitive so sometimes we don’t understand each other.
Takes very little for me to get upset and I only get upset by serious stuff and I’ll talk about issues.
He is sensitive so he takes jokes 100% serious and his moods go from happy to sad real fast and he doesn’t talk about stuff.

We got in a disagreement last night- he also forgot to take his meds so he was off already. He then told me to just go home and not sleep at his house.

Now I’m upset cause I feel we need to talk about stuff and not just separate and leave it.
Like he didn’t want me at his house cause he said things would feel weird cause we were both upset.
Even if we’re upset I still want to be around him

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t say it’s a red flag. You said yourself he missed his meds. Men need time to process things. To think about things. When we have problems we usually turn into a recluse in a corner to figure them out. Don’t push it. You’re going to push him away, you’ll be more of an annoyance. Just let him know you’re there if he needs you. You said yourself he’s sensitive to criticism. Amazing how when women are like that we as men are supposed to support them, give them time but when it comes to men oh he’s just a big ass baby or something. Man up, etc, etc. If you don’t like the situation you need to find someone else. I doubt that your joking is like soft bullying, instant he surprised if you treat him bad. A man who is like that is usually going to find a girl who acts in that way. Who talks down about their men. Mistreats him, etc.

[blackgaletiger]

Its not a red flag but an opportunity to learn his limits. You joke with him that your style but he is sensitive and that his. Its not uncommon for guys to distance themselves from their partners when they are upset or angry. Sometimes pushing him will just make the situation worse. Now that you know his boundaries give him some space to cool down a bit then talk about the situation and come to some conclusions. Some time is needed to much time won't help either.

[CuriousKevin_]

Have you researched his condition?
Sounds like he is sensitive to criticism and your soft bullying or banter is triggering.
For example kids with adhd experience upto 20,000 more negative comments that kids without adhd by the age of 12.
All that extra negativity puts a massive stress on your social resilience.


I’d advise being mindful of if he’s had his meds and look into his condition so you better understand him.