We are casual, but he says he is interested in me?

[Anonymous]

A bit of background, we've had sex a couple of times but any other time we've hung out, we've cuddled, got food together, went for drives and just talk and I like the guy, romantically and physically. Recently he's been saying he's attracted to me and it is throwing me off. We each put each other in the friend zone and have each kissed someone different since we started hooking up. We both agreed not to do that and just be exclusive and if anything changes we would just communicate. Now he's been saying he's attracted to me and he's always done little compliments but those kind of have stopped but I don't know.

He wants to hangout, go shooting together, even stay the night. It seems so silly but even just standing there talking, he squished my face and gave me a forehead kiss then an actual kiss and I'm trying to be indifferent about it all but it's just eating me up you know?

I'm probably just looking to far into it but any insight and or tips would be helpful!

[Anonymous]

After all this time, if he hasn’t giving you a title then he’s not going to. The fact you keep looking for rays of hope is sad because you do want more you just keep playing into his game and soaking up whatever he will give you. You have integrity in there, so why give it up for him the way that you do? This guy is manipulative, because he will tell you he’s interested so that you don’t dip out how other women would’ve, and then show the exact opposite of interest with his behavior. I know all about complicated relationships and I know there’s a lot to it, but your history can’t matter more than your present and future and no matter what you can’t get anything you’ve given him back, not your time, your body, none of it. That excuse of “we’ve been through so much” or “it’s complicated” keep women in situations they should’ve left months ago for more weeks and months maybe even years to come.

[Asker]

That is very true, it's like getting caught in a spider web. Thank you for your reply 😊

[linka_pat307]

I think you should consider this relationship first... what do you want it to be and what are your expectations from a serious relationship. I think you should stop having this relationship just because you want to be around him. Be honest with him and let him do the same and come to a agreed point in this relationship. I mean we aren't young to be exploring relationship... and if we are doing... we should work with healthy relationship. You can't be in a relationship where you are indeed both interested but can't take things seriously.

[BarryLiverstone]

You like him romantically and he likes the casual sex and friendship. Seems cut and dry. If you need to communicate that you are falling in love then tell him.

[Asker]

Sure yes, he knows I like him but as of recent he's been giving mixed signals and it was just a lot to try and explain you know?

[BarryLiverstone]

It does sound like a lot to explain. Is there more to the story? Like you said, he likes you to hang out with

[Asker]

Yeah there is more to the story, I tried to keep it short and sweet best I could lol
He says he likes me but as of right now not pursuing anything because he probably will have to travel for work and such. But he said that that could change in the future and he's always been super affectionate and what not. I just keep having these nagging feelings which causes me to doubt quite a bit.
He is 22 and I'm 19, so there is that age gap and like he can go to bars and stuff but heck I just worry. He seems to be kind of protective or at least seems so to me if I talk about other guys and for a little bit he would say stuff like "we aren't dating but I think this or that" kind of deal and now he's saying the whole I'm really attracted to you stuff.
Hell as of writing this, he's at a bar after being at a motel when we were supposed to have plans today. But then he'll make up for it and stuff
It really is a lot and I'm definitely gonna bombard you so I apologize

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s ok. You said you liked him so I can read all of it. But ya if he’s out at a bar rn and not with you like was planned then that action tells you he’s not wanting a romantic relationship.

You said you are worried. Is it because he could meet another girl at the bar tonight?

[Asker]

Yeah potentially I guess, and also just worried with drunk driving and stuff. it just is something that I don't care for being ignored hours on end and getting a message because I think worst case. But who knows maybe he'll explain like last time why he didn't respond etc.
The whole plans changing doesn't bother me as much just because we each have had to cancel plans on each other multiple times but it's so dumb getting worked up over a potential other chick you know?

[BarryLiverstone]

Exactly, don’t need to get worked up. He’s not in a committed relationship with you and he’s choosing to be out and at a bar. So while I can understand concerns of drunk driving, he is an adult and you are his friend. He could make mistakes and you can’t control what he decides to do

[Asker]

Very true, from the sounds of it he just hung out and talked to people so I guess whatever he tells me is all I'll get and I'll just stick with that, no reason to get more worked up, thank you !

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome.

[Anonymous]

How long has this been going on?

[Asker]

Since October it's been going on

[Opinion Owner]

There could be something. But I’d say slim chance. Hard to say. Sometimes men do that to keep you wrapped around their finger, giving you hope so that you’ll continue to sleep w them.

[Asker]

I seee, yeah we talked about it and he still wants of course causal stuff but holy moly he freaking sucks at plan making because we were supposed to hang out yesterday and guess what it did not happen and like I don't know, it's my fault for getting into the mess but heck he's so much easier to talk to in person as well, you know?

[Opinion Owner]

I get it. So you don’t mind if it’s just something causal than? If you’re happy w that that’s fine. I’m not sure if it’s planning or just a lack of respect for you thinking you’ll always be there no matter what.