Why did he say he did not want to lead me on and mentioned he has a girlfriend during the party?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy at a party tonight. I thought he was cute and I like his style, but I was informed everyone was taken at the party. So, I wasn't even gonna think about anyone like that. But I swear this guy had his eyes on me when he saw me walked in, he started talkin and he was like just friendly with me the whole minute until I got him to take a shot because he lost during a game he wanna play with me. Then, we had a moment where we stopped talking and just looked at each other... all I did was smiled up at him. Then, he mentioned that he did not wanna lead me on because he has a girlfriend. I told him that I'm glad he said that because I was informed everyone is taken. Then, he was a bit taken back by my response and didn't say anything else. Someone else walked in and started talking to us. But I purposely kept my distance afterwards because I felt a little awkward he mentioned it... I don't get it if he thinks I was making moves on him or he was afraid of himself with me because he made me feel like he was friendly and attracted to me.

[DishLady]

Ok, so at least he's being HONEST with you and telling you straight up from Day 1, hey I have a girl.

A guy can't help what his eyes are doing. There's a mental "glitch" (sorry, guys, I'll work on a kinder word) that goes off in a guy's brain when he sees a gal he finds sexy. But if he's a good guy his logic will kick in before his libido does and he'll be up front with you.

Regardless of whether he thought YOU were making moves on him, HE was saying it out loud to remind himself that he's taken. It's one of those things. A lot of guys I know do that.

True story? I asked a guy for a pen once and he blurted out "I'M MARRIED" really loudly. I was a college kid at the post office asking for a pen to fill a form out bc mine stopped working. He was literally the only other person there, which was the only reason I asked... At the time I was too young to understand why the guy yelled like that... I thought he was drunk or something... So I just gave him back his pen and went to the counter to ask the attendant for a pen (which I got, but with a nasty eyeroll)... Anyway, SINCE that day I've noticed that a lot of guys do that. They mention it. It's sweet, actually, because they tell you up front. A bad guy won't say a word and will just get what he gets... or worse, tell you he's taken AFTER he gets what he gets.

[Asker]

This makes some sense to the situation…

[Asker]

I actually kept my distance and didn’t talk to him after that conversation. I went over to the same place today which is the next day… odd enough… he was really quiet and low energy. I didn’t really give him much eye contact or say anything to him because I feel weird. He also did the same… I don’t know if he also feel weird now?

[DishLady]

Yeah, I've had that happen as well. It's ok. In my case I ignore the guy completely unless there's a specific reason to address him.

[Asker]

But why do you think they act distant afterwards? So odd…

[DishLady]

🤷🏻‍♀️ I was told by someone who also deals with loads of people “boy will be boys.” He’s just messing with you. Leave it and move on.

[DishLady]

*boys (sorry for the typo)

[236color]

Was his girlfriend at the party. It might have been for her benefit, not yours. Might have also been that he suspected someone at the party, (possibly even you) was going to report back to her.
If you're interested in him, check back ever few months. That relationship doesn't sound like it's grounded in trust.

[Asker]

Actually… crazy enough she was there but I didn’t know until after the conversation someone else told me. I kept my distance after… when I said bye, he was the only person who seem timid to say bye… and the next day I came back to the place to grab something, his energy was low where he was quiet but everyone else was like excited to see me. I noticed him and his girlfriend didn’t sit together either.. I don’t know if I’m overthinking it…

[In_Trance]

So he shows you red flags, but you still want to proceed... unreal

[Asker]

Reread the question and not put words that wasn’t said.

[In_Trance]

See my first response

[Asker]

see the initial Question and prompt

[linka_pat307]

Ig being good honest

[BarryLiverstone]

He wasn’t told that everyone was taken