Why would someone follow and then unfollow on instagram?

[annahouz]

So my ex reached out to be after a year for saying sorry and how much he regrets cheating on me and I found out that he was suffering from cancer and now is better so we talked on call briefly about his health conditions and then he asked me to meet to which I agreed , and he asked me if he could follow me back on Instagram and I said yes so after that he did not plan anything to meet me as he said he will meet me once his hair looks better after cancer treatment and after 15-20 days unfollowed me from gram. I don’t understand this.

[jenn2838]

It’s hard to guess with the limited information you gave, but he doesn’t seem serious enough about you or maybe lacks emotional maturity.. I’m guessing he’s around your age (28). Also if the call was mainly about him and his health conditions with all due respect he doesn’t seem serious. If he apologised and really showed you he reflected and thought about what he did and maybe told you why he cheated and showed understanding thats another story. But otherwise it could just be that he was contacting you to see where you stand and if he still has a spot in your life (basically to validate his ego), or maybe he needed some attention at that specific time and then after he got it he stopped talking. A lot of men are like this they pop up in their exes life to see if she still cares. Would he really care he would have made plans to see you. But as I said its hard to judge someone just based on this few infos.. he also was sick so he might have been in a bad emotional state..

If you still care about him or are thinking of getting back I would: 1. maintains your boundaries, he can’t just walk in and out of you life whenever he wants 2. he has to show more effort and emotional maturity because a person just doesn’t go from a cheater to a bon cheater without reflecting on their actions and deciding to change

My question would be : Were you talking during those 15 days before he unfollowed? or did something else happen?

do you know if he was dating someone new during that year because thats a bad sign if he was in another relationship and then came back?

[jenn2838]

au just realised I forgot to answer the main question: maybe he isn’t ready to face whatever you two are going through so he unfollowed again
or maybe there is someone else and he just followed out of curiosity to see what you’re up to

[annahouz]

No he reached out first saying sorry and he regrets it and took complete ownership of what he did and told me why he cheated and said that he knows it was entirely his fault and all it and seem to want to reconnect again as he said he see some hope after I replied … also he is not seeing anyone as he was going through chemo the entire last year and recently his reports came out great. Also I don't know if he is not ready to face what happened between us or because he lost his hair due to cancer and maybe not feeling confident

[annahouz]

And no we did kot talk during those 15 days
As he said we’ll meet and talk

[jenn2838]

I think you already have your own strong opinion of him and are maybe looking for reassurance. It kinda looks like you would give it a second chance.. I was going to say why did it take him a year to reach out but chemo therapy and everything he may have had too much going out. It still not and excuse for him to give you false hope and then just leaves or unfollows without giving an explanation. If that happened before maybe he its a pattern in his behaviour (getting distant) and this push and pull dynamic might be an endless cycle. He kinda gives me avoidant attachment vibes.. meaning he gets overwhelmed with emotions easily and runs away when it someone gets too close.
But again I know nothing about him you must know best and you know what you want for yourself. Maybe you can give him a call and talk things out nothing wrong with the girl being the one who reaches out first sometimes especially since he already showed interest. Maybe say how are you’d doing hope you're doing better, you could act like u didn’t notice the unfollow. Or if u want ti be direct tell him hey I noticed you removed the follow do you want to talk about it

[annahouz]

Do you think maybe he wanted to het a reaction out of me?

[jenn2838]

A reaction to see if you are still have feelings for him? It’s possible. But if he got the reaction he wanted and then decided to unfollow it’s a bad sign and shows emotional immaturity. Why can’t he be upfront and honest. I have an ex who semi cheated on me too, I found out he was out with a girl while he told me has was with his guy friends. I dumped his ass and when I confronted him about me finding out he denied everything and acted like he doesn’t know her. He was baffled I found out 😂 (I found out because a girl he followed posted the a story of the same vidoe he sent me at the same location). Anyways he tried to get back but I then blocked his number and the other numbers he was trying to text me from. He kept popping up and texting me every now and then on instagram and I used to respond very shortly just out of politeness because we were almost engaged and I knew his parents etc. He eventually admitted there was a girl but said its ‘a mistake guys just do’😂 and he denied if was cheating. He was baffled that I consider it cheating. And yes it was cheating because he basically went to a one day staycation in the mountains with some girl 😂. He was like do you think I would even consider anything serious with her? I said I don’t care I care about you lying to me and doing stuff behind my back.
He regretted everything but it was too late I had already checked out with my feelings.
Now I have much stronger boundaries and I don’t let anyone walk in and out of my life like they please. Men don’t love and respect you for doing stuff for them or sleeping with them or building them up they respect women with strong boundaries and who show them that they can live without them. .

[jenn2838]

They say men always come back and its true that they always do! but for different reasons and its up to you then… some just come to feed their ego and feel they still have you or some might really miss you after they felt the distance and void. But usually when an ex comes back I think about what outcome I want and what we should do differently in order for the relationship to work out.

Men are so weird tbh women are much more emotionally mature. They be cheating on their partner, lie, act like a douchbag and then wonder when she finally leaves because they didn’t see it coming. I actually punish a guy with distance when he does something wrong so that he knows he can’t mess with me😂 it works😂

Sorry for the long rant. But in your situation I would actually find it ok to reach out also given he isn’t well physically.. you don’t have to make it obvious that you want him back just call him and say I just wanted to see how you’re doing and I appreciate your last call something like that and see how he’ll respond

[In_Trance]

Stop interacting with your ex