Guys, My son always pays for me?

[Anonymous]

Every time I am out with my son he pays for anything I plan to get. I feel bad because he spends money on me all the time and I try to offer to pay for him sometimes and he simply won't let me. I know he is a generous kind man but I don't want to be a burden on his finances. In what way can I show him appreciation, and let him know its OK if he doesn't pay?

Updates

1 y

Thanks guys!

What I have taken from your replies is that I'm lucky to have a son who loves and respects me.

He doesn't want me to return the favour financially as that negates all his kindness toward me.

The best I can do is show him respect and appreciation for the great son he is.

He feels most appreciated and respected when I implement his heartfelt advice and he can see the positive difference in my life, so I will continue to do that.

Thanks again!

[SueShe]

You don't have to feel bad for letting him pay occasionally. That could mean 2 things:

1. You were such a great mom when he grew up that he feels compelled to show you and pay you back for all the things you have done for him or

2. He thinks that you are not well off enough to be able to afford a number of things. By paying for you, he indicates that you should spend some things on yourself with the money you saved when he is not around.

The best way to let him know is to just talk with him and to show appreciation for what he is doing.

[Vevv123]

Sometimes what I do is sneak my card to the waiter before we order our food if I want to pay and I know the other person is going to want to pay. You can try that. You can also talk to him about it in a serious way, how it’s important to make sure he’s not overspending and you want to minimize his spending. You can show your appreciation by buying him a gift, some wine or a gift card.

[Anonymous]

Honestly you don’t have to. Just being there his entire life is more than he could ever repay. Although I don’t feel as though you think he needs to repay you for all you’ve done, but you get what I mean. If he’s happy to do so just let him. You could express to him your appreciation but not at the expense of putting him in a hole if that’s the case. But I don’t think it matters to him, he loves you.

[molonski2]

Put all the money he contributed into an ETF in his name , this is a very logical way to pay back the debt and improve his overall situation , let him pay , but tally the funds make sure that amount goes into the ETF.

[molonski2]

Sorry , that update doesn't quite cut it.
You need to start making income producing steams , to allow for his financial literacy , the best way to do that is to start the ETF idea , secretly.. you give it to him later.
Don't just take , this solution creates stability for him , he doesn't have much , he needs to understand money markets.

[Nikki1989]

Focus on the thought, and not the money.

[Blueeyes81]

Just let him. I really enjoy helping my parents out, it's the least I can do to repay them for everything they have done for me.

[jahaims]

It makes him happier than you will ever know.