My boyfriend expects me to pay for everything?

Question

I'm not rich by any means but I do have a part time job so when my boyfriend and I go out i usually offer to pay and at the start of our relationship he would put up a bit of an argument and pay half the time but now he just expects it and I'm paying for everything... we are only 17 and I have to pay for train tickets to go see him and then food and movie tickets etc and I'm quickly running out of money. Should I try to avoid activities which involve payment, bring it up with him or just try to work more hours (I'm not going to work more hours my job is soul destroying but I included it to cover all bases, you know)? I would really appreciate help on how to go about tackling this, thank you x

ShaniquaScott · Accepted Answer

I say, don't pay for anything no more, if u guys go out tell him you're no longer paying, if he gets into a 3 yr old baby fit drop him. And I say I think u should work more hours to stock up in money you lost, even if u hate ur job, just gonna deal with it till u find a better one. He shouldn't think you'll pay for everything, he should throw his hat into the ring before it even starts! Half and half is OK, but he shouldn't think u got it covered! If he comes up with any excuse, call him out then, but I really think u should drop him, I feel like he sees u as a walking bank.
I hope he just mans up and take responsibility for his actions and become a better person... probably a better boyfriend to his girlfriend

Fitness-Fanatic · Accepted Answer

Stop being so resourceful with him. Then he can't take advantage of your kindness

Be honest with him , and tell him you can no longer afford to keep paying for everything. That from now on he'll have to pay his own way.

It's ok to be kind to people you love or care about , but not if they are taking advantage of your kindness. There needs to be " give & take" in a relationship

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Talk with him.
It's nice for you to offer to pay everything sometimes, as it would be nice of him, but 50/50 is the fairest.

Also, don't ever lend him money. NEVER.
I used to pay everything with my ex, he would get angry if I mentioned money and he owes me a big amout of money I'm never seeing again.

CactusJuice · Accepted Answer

It seems fair to me that he pays 50%. He is half of your relationship.

Definitely talk with him about it. Tell him how you feel. I understand you don't have a lot of money neither do I. We are both trying to save money. When you don't pay your fair share... I feel like you don't care about me with relationship. I need you to support half of our expenses.

That's the kind of stuff I would say. You deserve to have your needs met and that's not happening right now. This relationship is not only about his needs.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

You should be working hard to be as reasonably close to 50/50 as possible. If one or the other occasionally pays a little more (especially if they have a better-paying job or something), that's okay, but no one should ever take it for granted that the other is paying - even if they do so because they want to.

You definitely need to talk to him, and if he argues about it or otherwise chooses not to step up his responsibility, then you need to kick him to the curb.

Impactaura · Answer

Now you know how most guys feel. Most women just expect the guy to pay every time. I don't mind paying for the first month or so but a relationship is suppose to be 50/50 on everything. It shoukd never be a burden to one or the other. When I was 18, I had a full time job, had a lot if overtime, I bought my own first car. The girl I was going out with had no money, no car, no job. I picked her up, I paid for every meal, we went to the movies and she picked every time. Would go out to festivals and if she saw something she liked, I bought it. After helping my family with all of their bills and covering the apartment, I didn't have too much left to throw around. I later found her cheating. So don't strain yourself in a situation like this. If he wants something, he can pay half. If he can't get money from daddy, then he can get his own job like you did. Never stress yourself to benefit or craddle some lazy ass user.

Anonymous · Answer

The fact that this question is posted with no mention of any discussion about this with him suggests you just want to vent. Update this question with his response. Does he have a job?

It is good that you offer to pay and you mean it, but relationships need to be 50/50. A good way to bring this up is to simply avoid activities that cost money. If he suggests something, tell him you are low on cash at the moment and perhaps you would do it if he pays.

AleDeEurope · Answer

Talk to him about him and tell him he should pay his half.

Unit1 · Answer

And this is how we men often feel. Being used for our money and being expected to pay for everything from our own wallets. Welcome to our perspective.
But I am warning you, he IS USING you right now! Drop him as fast as you can because he is leeching off from you like a gold digger.

Anonymous · Answer

Drop the boy and find a man.
My boyfriend paid for everything for his ex and her kids. she friend zoned him and he never even got to hold her hands. he kept her for 10 -12 years. and was so eager to do more for her.
with me he is counting pennies and i resent that. i talked to him, he is paying now but i still not feeling good about it.
my exes treated me very very well. never allowed me to pay for anything.

Malikai96 · Answer

No self respecting person who isn't using you to some degree is going to sit there and let you pay everything for them without saying a word or even offering to help you out.

Warmapplecrumble · Answer

Do activities that cost less money.
*Going to the park
*Walk half way

Me and my boyfriend walk 2 to 4 hours regularly. Saves us travel money and gym money.

Tell him you are having financial difficulties.

How is he as a boyfriend?

matheus_mb · Answer

Well, I think that he just got used to it since you'd pay a lot and now he does it. Tell him the truth, that you're running out of money and then you see what he does.

Jedah225 · Answer

Don't want to make this political. I do think he's wrong. But reading through the comments it seems like guy pays for everything=gentleman/great man/boyfriend. Girl pays for everything=guys an asshole/ not good man. Guy and girl split bill=guy is alright/nothing special though. Why is that?

WalterRadio · Answer

The solution is very simple: FIND A NEW BOYFRIEND. The guy should always pay. If he doesn't, find a guy that can.

dipta · Answer

You pay for his food and movie tickets too? Either way, just train tickets are quite expensive, so you definitely need to talk and try to come up with an agreement before you start resenting him.

notlrac · Answer

the man should pay talk with him about your side of the equation then if refuse to take heed dump him

luvstoned4him · Answer

You have to take in account like if he is unemployed and if he doesn't get paid well  If you feel so bad about you can talk to him about it or choose venues that cost less or no money at all.

Alwaysthere85 · Answer

He should be paying for half or take turns when it come to a relationship. Talk to him and if he refuses, then it's time to move on.

Chanel1981 · Answer

Try talking to him and if that doesn't work, dump him! The trouble isn't entirely the cost but his obvious lack of character

HOAAH · Answer

Tell him how you feel. I feel like I am being taken advantage of, and I really need you to help out. Or else I can't see you as much anymore

ben1224 · Answer

talk to him about it. if he has a job or an income he should pay his fair share of not then encourage him to get one

Hombre00 · Answer

Your boyfriend probably does not give a shot about you.. most decent guys are going to want to at least pay half.

wilddrawfour · Answer

Make sure you talk to him. He'll probably listen to you and start paying. When me and my girl go out usually one of us will take care of the whole evening. Drinks, dinner, show. Whoever paid last time doesn't pay this time.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe you guys could have a talk about it, and ask to take turns paying for whatever activities you do that day. One day, you do it, then the next he can do it. This seems the most reasonable solution.

My boyfriend expects me to pay for everything?

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