My boyfriend makes me pay for everything?

[Anonymous]

I pay for every date, every meal, etc. I pay for both of us.
We're in the same boat financially (moderately well off college students.)
I asked him if we could pay for our own portions or maybe take turns paying and he gave me some shit about feminism. He still refuses to help out. What should I do?

[Chiper91]

That is a first for me. My previous relationship was the other way around. My girlfriend expected me to pay for EVERYTHING which is to some degree understandable since men are supposed to pay for dates etc. But once we made official, I expected her to at least pay her part sometime or even threat me to dinner. She did not. I ended up in the same situation as you are now. I stopped paying for her and it became an "issue" for her. She later dumped me for a much older and richer guy.
If I were in your shoes, I would ask him to pay for his share. If he does not, I would break up with him since he acting kind of a gold digger. Also, feminism entails women paying for their part but not for both people. Hope this helps.

[Scooby225]

Your such a gentlewoman. Omg, see you're showing that you really care. You're a "real" woman that knows how to treat a man. Well girls usually pay. Ask him to split the bill. He probably wouldn't mind, but you probably wouldn't be getting a second date.

Think about your situation and read the bullsh*t i just typed. Understand it, and remember it for future reference.

[Asker]

You're preaching to the wrong choir. I don't expect men to pay for my shit, just their own.
Try again.

[Asker]

How about you take that lecture to the girls who actually expect men to wait on them, thanks

[damnbiatch]

Dude I guess that what he really meant is to make u see how wrong is this kinda like he is typing what a manipulator look like ! And then he is asking u to rethink twice about yourself and care for yourself when he throws the " ask him to split the bill but you won't get a second date " He actually is meaning
that this guy doesn't care about ya and that what u typed is no bullshit but your situation is a real bullshit !

[damnbiatch]

And please do believe me I am in the same boat as you , my boyfriend does the same shit !

[Scooby225]

@damnbiatch bingo

[milamila]

He clearly doesn't care about you hun. If he cared, he would have treated you differently, in a special way. He would take care of your needs. I dont say guts should pay all. But a true gentleman at least tries to impress his girlfriend. He wouldn't give u bs about feminism or care about such a subject. This guy is using you/playing you. If I were you I would dump him immediately. Show some selfrespect. You deserve way better than this selfish, greedy prick. I hope you take my advice.

[milamila]

thanks!:)

[needhelp999]

Sounds like he'a using you for food srs lol.

I would start telling the server to slit the bill, and you only pay for your portion of the meal, and give him his bill. How is that feminism? If he still refuse to pay for his own portion than he would break up withhis ass.

[xxmamichulaxx]

So he makes you pay for everything because feminism? He sounds like an entitled prick who blames feminists And women for every time he doesn't get his way. Dump him, your his girlfriend not his sugar momma.

[TheLuckyPizzaDog]

tell him your broke for the week and can only afford your half of the meal. or dont go out with him see what happens. its shitty when girls mooch, and it's equally as shitty when guys mooch.

[ivaneca]

Anything about feminism would only make sense if you were asking him to always pay for you, which you're not. You want to at least split, right? Seems perfectly reasonable. I'd go with only one of two choises if I were you:
1) Talk to him about it (again) saying it's hard for you and potentially dump him, if it's not something you're comfortable doing.
2) Stop putting out and give him the same shit about feminism he gave you.

I'd go with #2 :)

[AleDeEurope]

Lol sounds like it's not fun when the roles are reversed, huh? XD

Honestly, if he's not willing to pitch in and pay his part, he may be using you, so time to find someone else.

[Asker]

Agree. The thing is, why doesn't this shit happen to girls who actually use men like that lol. I've never used a guy.

[AleDeEurope]

It does happen, though. Maybe not this, because girls who use guys don't go for guys who don't pay, but they also get fucked a different way, like being cheated on, for example.
It's not common to see a guy use a girl for her money, though.

[Asker]

True true. I think there should be a stigma against anyone who uses people for money. Not just girls.
I had another responder basically tell me it's ok because a majority of girls do it too. But whatever

[AleDeEurope]

There is a stigma against guys who use girls for money, just look at the replies on here, except for one or two the rest say it's wrong. You wouldn't get these replies if the genders were reversed.

[Signinggirl123]

The idea of a relationship is to work as a team to build a healthy bond with your partner. If you dont want to pay for everything and he refuses to make an effort i would question his intentions.

[AnswerMe44]

He sounds like a douchebag, so unreasonable. If he's just going to make you pay for everything and not even split the bill then don't take him out anymore lol

[dolemite68]

dump him if he doesn't start chipping in it sounds like he's playing u

[CrystalChild]

if this is real then he's a free loader and dump him. My s/o and I split everything. Sometimes I pay sometimes he does.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a dick to me.
Tell him you can't afford to always be paying for him also.
And if he gets mad or has something to say than maybe he is just using you.
He should be decent enough to split the bill.

[SovereignessofVamps]

He should pay for himself, so just don't pay for him anymore.

[Blonde401]

Dump him. Gotta be equal. He obviously likes taking advantage of you.

[Prof_Don]

He most likely won't budge on this, so u either stop seeing him or continue to see him understanding the arrangement.

[RaisingKaneFromHell]

Yes he should pay for his own share of stuff if he can't afford to pay for the whole meal , you got your self together he is slacker.

[Kit_Kat88]

He is using you, he's just a male gold digger and an irrational one at that. Break up with him.

[NajemEddine]

if u want sharing its okay
if u want him to pay all than no

[Asker]

Like I said in my original comment, I want sharing.

[pupitko]

you should break up with him. he abuses you in a way. i can understand that sometimes he's out of cash but come on, everything has its borders. you deserve much better.

[Theduff101]

If this is occurring now in your relationship and your not happy , you need to speak to him about it or break it off. Can't imagine what the would grow into in the future , you may end up unhappy

[Lizyea]

Dump him! A relationship only works if both of the parts takes part in it in anyway.

[Anonymous]

he just eats your money
i mean he just spends your money then, he is not good boyfriend
i wish i had a girl, so i could pay for her meals too..
if i have enough money ofc

[gobsmacked3]

tell him to step up or f.. k off- very simple

[Anonymous]

LOL. Sounds like he found a keeper. Not sure you did though...

[VictoriaVille]

Refuse to pay. Don't go out on dates anymore.