I have a male roommate that I've lived with for almost a year now with 3 other roommates. He was originally dating my sister's best friend and after she broke it off with him, we eventually started talking. We are not officially 'together' mainly because I have some doubts about whether I'd really be happy with him, even though I do really like him. I just wish he'd change.
I'll start out my saying that when he was dating my sister's friend, he got a second job so that he'd have money to take her out. He quit that job when they broke up. He works in construction and though the money is good, jobs have gotten slow lately so he only works a couple weeks out of the month. The rest of the time, he'll sometimes do a few odd jobs for friends, but otherwise he's sitting at home watching TV all day. He also smokes pot on a casual basis, and we wrecked his car a few months ago so he doesn't drive, either. I'm sure most of you think I'm painting the picture of a loser - he's not a loser, I just wish he made a little more of an effort.
I do make a lot more money than he does, and I'm starting to think he's taking advantage of me. Almost every time we've gone out for the last few months, I end up paying. I didn't mind at first, but what bothers me is that when he doesn't have money, he still wants to go to expensive restaurants and bars, and expects me to pay. I work late and on my way home he'll call me sometimes and ask him to pick up dinner for him, even if I just spent $50 on dinner the night before. A couple times he's taken me to cheap places like Pizza Hut and thinks that it makes us even, but it's not even close.
The thing is, when he does have money, he spends it on dumb things (the pot thing p*sses me off the most) and ends up dry by the weekend. So I end up paying when we go out. It's gotten to the point where I avoid being home during the day because I don't want him to ask me to "take him out" anywhere, then I'll go out with my friends and leave him at home because I know I'm going to have to pay for everything he eats and drinks. I feel bad about that, but at the same time, if he's out of money I don't think it's appropriate for him to spend all of mine, too.
To make things worse, we're getting our upstairs renovated and I'm going to be moving up there when the new bedroom is ready. The only reason I think it's working out for us now is because my other roommate is in charge of collecting rent and bills, so he makes sure everyone pays up. That roommate is moving out and I'm going to be in charge of collecting, and since I don't have the balls to tell my guy how I feel about his "mooching", I get the feeling that I'm going to end up having to cover at least some of his rent and utilities too when he "comes up short". I feel like I'm potentially dating a little kid - so clearly I don't like the idea of us moving in together, more so than we already have.
What should I do?
I'll start out my saying that when he was dating my sister's friend, he got a second job so that he'd have money to take her out. He quit that job when they broke up. He works in construction and though the money is good, jobs have gotten slow lately so he only works a couple weeks out of the month. The rest of the time, he'll sometimes do a few odd jobs for friends, but otherwise he's sitting at home watching TV all day. He also smokes pot on a casual basis, and we wrecked his car a few months ago so he doesn't drive, either. I'm sure most of you think I'm painting the picture of a loser - he's not a loser, I just wish he made a little more of an effort.
I do make a lot more money than he does, and I'm starting to think he's taking advantage of me. Almost every time we've gone out for the last few months, I end up paying. I didn't mind at first, but what bothers me is that when he doesn't have money, he still wants to go to expensive restaurants and bars, and expects me to pay. I work late and on my way home he'll call me sometimes and ask him to pick up dinner for him, even if I just spent $50 on dinner the night before. A couple times he's taken me to cheap places like Pizza Hut and thinks that it makes us even, but it's not even close.
The thing is, when he does have money, he spends it on dumb things (the pot thing p*sses me off the most) and ends up dry by the weekend. So I end up paying when we go out. It's gotten to the point where I avoid being home during the day because I don't want him to ask me to "take him out" anywhere, then I'll go out with my friends and leave him at home because I know I'm going to have to pay for everything he eats and drinks. I feel bad about that, but at the same time, if he's out of money I don't think it's appropriate for him to spend all of mine, too.
To make things worse, we're getting our upstairs renovated and I'm going to be moving up there when the new bedroom is ready. The only reason I think it's working out for us now is because my other roommate is in charge of collecting rent and bills, so he makes sure everyone pays up. That roommate is moving out and I'm going to be in charge of collecting, and since I don't have the balls to tell my guy how I feel about his "mooching", I get the feeling that I'm going to end up having to cover at least some of his rent and utilities too when he "comes up short". I feel like I'm potentially dating a little kid - so clearly I don't like the idea of us moving in together, more so than we already have.
What should I do?
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