Guy's Behavior

What is he thinking?

Long story short, my ex was an alcoholic and a drug addict. He promised change several times but it never happened. I got pregnant. When I was about 2 months I asked him if he’s planning on quitting like he said he would and he danced around it. Was drunk at the time and we don’t live together. So I went through a hard time with the pregnancy the following week. Since that night I asked him if he’d quit he ghosted me for almost three weeks. Then when he did message me I didn’t respond because I was hurt, and also I saw that he was liking girls photos. He had made me delete my instagram and this crossed the line for me. Also, during the relationship he was abusive emotionally and verbally. Was telling his friend how he wants to cheat on me (knowing that I’m pregnant).

Prior to this he once ghosted me for two weeks and when I went over to see him he told me he thought we’re over since we didn’t talk for two weeks and how he already set up a dating app. So I explained to him that we’ve been together for over a year etc that I’m not some fling.

Today after just over 5 months of no contact, he messages me hey. I actually do still love him despite everything and it’s affecting me. I don’t know if he ever loved me or if he just was using me because I helped him out as he didn’t have a job and whenever he needed something I gave. A few months ago his friends wife messaged me asking how I am but I ignored her.

Any ideas of what he’s thinking? He’s also never once actually apologized to me other than saying he’s sorry he can’t stop drinking.

What is he thinking?
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