Guys, Have you ever distanced yourself from a girl because you felt too messed up or scared you’d hurt her?

[Anonymous]

There’s this guy I’ve known on and off for years, he tells me I’m too good to him. He opens up sometimes and says he’s not healthy, and says he feels he’s scared to look me in the eyes because of the way he’s treated me. Then he disappears again, like he’s protecting himself. He’s hinting at kids and wanting a future but always pulls away. I know he cares but his actions are confusing and hurtful.

so I’d like to know guys, have you ever acted this way with a girl, like pushed her away even though you cared, because you felt you weren’t good enough, or were afraid you’d mess things up and how did it turn out?

I'm trying to understand the mindset.

[serious]

Well, yes I can understand why he does this. I am also a guy so I know. People with self protective mentality typically behave this way.

In your case he does this because he knows you are a really good girl, you are sweet and you have good personality traits and he knows you are also of loyal type so maybe this is too much for him to handle. Hence this behaviour from him.

As for the other part of your question, I have never done this to a woman but yes if such a situation then I would also do the same. I would eventually end it and back off.

[spartan55]

No, he's trying to use the bullshit martyr tactic which most people grow out of after middle school.

[OneViewpoint]

Uh no, a normal mentally healthy guy does not act like that. Yer buddy be crazy.

[Danny_dan92]

I only distance myself when I either think there’s no chemistry, or if I think she’s not good for me

[Asker]

I mean when he and I hang out a couple times I noticed the sign like rubbing my wrist staring, thinking I'm pretty, staring exc but it's been a long time for him. He's 27 I'm 28. He knows I'm a good person and he says and thinks im too good to him.

[PaleDale]

Yes, girls have said that I hurt them before so I'm careful

[BobbyLee789]

I didn't want her to be disappointed. Like no pleasure when she was expecting to feel really good.

[Rohaan2020]

Yes, i have

[Asker]

Did you like the girl and were nervous / overwhelmed, what was your mindset were you having feelings were there feelings?

[Rohaan2020]

Yes i still love her…. But i felt she wasn’t happy with me…. It was a 5 yo relationship but i started to feel as if she was just continuing it for my sake and she was disappointed… i’ve got some issues which are not in my control and i admit i wasn’t the best boyfriend… the only option i had was to distance myself from her