I want to be friends with a guy that I like even if I know he's struggling right now and still tries to kiss me one day and act distant the next?

[that1_senior]

If kissed me first date, held my waist, held my hand, met my mom, and after we left, he asked to call, so we did. To clarify I was fully aware his father and aunt have both recently passed, and I know to give him space and be there for him. He recently said he was interested and liked me, so we hung out and ended up kissing, holding hands, etc. I was confused as to why he totally switched up the next minute, and he clarified it was because of many things, including the loss of his parents. I honestly am trying to justify him bc if I were in his shoes, I'd probably be mixed up with feelings as well. He still wants to hang out and we still text/ call at night and throughout the day, although I know he's leading me on bc I do like him... he's just indecisive and I'm choosing to stay his friend and care, because i DO care. im just wondering if he actually does like me? Did he mean to kiss me? did he mean to lead the kiss on? What do i do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I can totally understand why you're feeling so confused and conflicted about this guy. It's a tough situation, especially with him being so up and down with his feelings and actions.

On one hand, I can see why you'd want to stay friends with him and be there for him, especially knowing about the major losses he's been dealing with. That kind of grief and emotional turmoil can really mess with someone's head, so I get why he might be feeling super mixed up.

And the fact that he's still making an effort to talk to you and hang out, even though he's acting all distant and indecisive, is a good sign that he does care about you. The kissing and physical intimacy also suggest he has genuine feelings, even if he's struggling to process them right now.

At the same time, I can understand why you might feel like he's leading you on. The hot and cold behavior, the mixed signals - that's gotta be really frustrating and hurtful, even if you know there's a reason behind it.

My advice would be to keep being patient and supportive, but also make sure you're setting some boundaries to protect yourself emotionally. Let him know you care about him and you're there if he needs you, but make it clear that you can't keep going through the emotional rollercoaster.

Maybe suggest taking things slow and just focusing on building a solid friendship for now, until he's in a better headspace to pursue anything romantic. And don't be afraid to take a step back if his behavior starts becoming too draining or disrespectful.

You deserve someone who's gonna be fully present and sure about their feelings for you. But I can see why you'd want to stick by this guy, given what he's going through. Just make sure you're taking care of yourself in the process, girl.

Trust your gut on this one. If it starts feeling more unhealthy than helpful, don't be afraid to cut ties. But if you really think he's worth the wait and the effort, then keep being that amazing friend he needs. Either way, know that you're doing the right thing by being there for him.

Sending you all the good vibes, sis. You got this!

[that1_senior]

thank you so much, it really is frustrating but i genuinely am interested :/

[teamvic]

I'm a bit confused but if i were you, just keep him as a friend until he decides to stop be indecisive. Once he's all about you everyday and not just one day and then not the next, then allow yourself to move to the next step with him

Until then. I say just go with the flow. But also, don't make yourself wait for him either. If he doesn't try to be all about you, don't be waiting there and not allow yourself doesn't opportunities either. I'm not saying to move on from him, but don't be loyal to someone you're not in a relationship with. Or even in a talking stage

[that1_senior]

okay tysm this rlly does help