Why do so many guys hit the gym shortly after a breakup?

Question

I see it all the time. Everywhere. Whether in person or on social media. There are even "guys after breakup" memes. I'm talking about the guys who never cared to go to gym all this time but soon after breakup, things change.

This guy I was friends with (for almost a decade) and I remember him being this sweet guy with a lean build. He was dating someone back then. I was really bad at staying in touch, so I'd be in touch with him on and off over the years. He looked the same for years but when I got back in contact with him 2 years ago, this time I found out he's no longer with her. Not only was he single but he also looked almost unrecognisable. He was now bigger and very muscular. He has this beard too. I was like "Woah, what? Is that my friend?" O. o I was shocked for a moment and asked him when did you start going to the gym? He said, "After my breakup"

He seem very proud of his body and confidence that I didn't see much back then. So, do guys hit the gym to relieve stress and frustration or to gain confidence or there is some other reason?

Why do so many guys hit the gym shortly after a breakup?

YourFutureEx · Accepted Answer

Unfortunately I have an answer to this question lmao.

Primarily for two reasons:

1. Lack of a support system

2. To redeem themselves.

To be fair, women are kinda same. They get prettier near the breakup but the difference is that they get prettier before the breakup and men get jacked after the breakup because women see the breakup coming and suffer before that, while men do not see it coming and the shock breakup gives them, gives them the push to enter the gym premises.

Unlike women, men really-REALLY do not have a support system. When men lose in relationships, there is no shoulder to cry on, no chest to hug, no ear to vent out, but there is a brain that's constantly telling you that you suck.

Women can vent out to their friends and their friends, no matter how much they hate each other, will confort the broken lady in this situation and really help her move on. She will tell her all the nice things to help her heal and make her feel pretty again. While in case of men, they'll only tell you one thing: "leave it bro, let's drink". That only makes their emotional state worse and if they happen to cry, their friends would be like "lmao loser".

We understand this. We know that we cannot vent and crying is out of the question (we do cry by ourselves in the washroom tho) & our mind is constantly telling us that we suck and how big of a loser we are. So, in that case, what's the best thing a reasonable man would do? He will try to be better. Gym is the number one thing that comes to men's mind because as men, all of us have, at least once, dreamed of becoming the stronger man there exists, since childhood. Why else we all love Goku? So we hit da jim.

Not only gym makes us more attractive, gym helps us control our thoughts too. By investing our time in a healthy habit, we don't leave enough time for self doubt and that discipline also expands to our other activities like our business and studies etc making our life overall better. Breakups are chaotic, gym provides structure.

Gym is a social environment where we will meet like-minded girls who are bettering themselves. We may not have our dream bombshell with us anymore but at least we now have our dream body and that gives us positive outlook about everything, which is very necessary for us to give a fair chance to the next girl we may meet.

The mirror no longer tells us that you suck. When we look into mirror, the only thought that comes to our mind is how easily we'll be able to curl her new boyfriend.

So, while we do not have any chest to hug, we do have a chest to pump up the bench press. Breakup? More like bulk-up!

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Females’ do the same shit , I knew a girl that was overweight and her boyfriend wasn’t happy about her weight gain , so she told him to Go Fuck himself which she was smart to do , but he ended up dumping her for someone else and then she disappeared and no one has seen her in awhile , when I ran into her again , I didn’t even recognize her , she lost all her weight and telling everyone how she goes to the gym on a steady basis now she looked good. , but I laughed and thought if she did that for her ex boyfriend he probably wouldn’t of left her for someone else , Unfortunately our society is fixated on weight and beauty , social media plays a part in that as well. A lot of People do whatever it takes to feel accepted in this fucked up society , not realizing our bodies our designed to store weight for survival , Not everyone has the same genes and metabolism like everyone else , Pharmaceutical companies and Supplement companies have a field day making money off of making people believe they need to look a certain way to be accepted. Diet and exercise is good but it’s also not great either , I know people that worked out daily and watched what they ate on a steady basis and they dropped dead at a young age because They weren’t getting all the nutrients they actually needed and put their bodies through hell trying to get fit and taking products that weren’t good for them either. Now people are injected themselves with shit that isn’t even FDA approved to lose weight , stuff that was made for people
With diabetes but people without diabetes are still taking the stuff to lose weight , like mounjaro and ozempic making it harder for people that actually need it to get their hands on it. I won’t be surprised when half the people drop dead in a few years from taking this shit just so they can look good and feel
Good about themselves for a short period of time

DishLady · Accepted Answer

That's not just a guy thing. Both men and women do that for various reasons...

Get your energy up by adopting healthy habits. This is a natural extension of the type of self-care we're supposed to force ourselves into during a breakup. If you'd stopped taking the time to take care of your own fitness to priorities the needs of your partner then this is a standard habit to pick up (or return to).
Expend pent up energy. When going through a breakup we have so much extra energy to expend -- part of it is the energy we wasted on that guy/gal who is now out of the picture, part of it is sheer stress from not sharing every negative thought we're now feeling about that person, etc. etc.
Looking fit and fab. Some folks crave that "revenge bod" factor and want to look amazing and tell the loser who lost us to eat their f-ing hearts out.

There's more, but you get the general idea...

alli-112 · Accepted Answer

Few different reasons (usually a mix of them actually)

1. More free time that is no longer dedicated to spending time with another person.

2. Needing a distraction - the gym is solid for that, can't be busy crying over your ex when you're holding a hundred lbs right over your face.

3. Depending on how the relationship ended, it might have hurt his self-esteem in some way. Being super fit is essentially in fashion for men at the moment, so becoming muscular can be a way to improve self esteem.

Women essentially do the same thing sometimes, it's just that beauty and social standards are slightly different so there's less push for weightlifting specifically.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

In life the only way to move is forward. After a breakup the way I look at it is that you are back on the market so hitting the gym, working out & taking care of yourself is good way to get out & a good way to meet people as well.

Some people hit the gym, some people hit the couch.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Endorphins. physical activity feels good.  Getting out and working out emotions is good.  we are physical beings.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

"Gym is the number one thing that comes to men's mind because as men, all of us have, at least once, dreamed of becoming the stronger man there exists, since childhood. Why else we all love Goku? So we hit da jim."

- My future ex

I related to Goku as well, as a kid. But not in this way at all lol. In the same manner that some people will read the Bible as a list of facts, some of us will view parables instead. So, by the time I hit teen years, I was looking at Goku as a character embarked onto a journey of exploration, exploring the world, exploring himself.

That was and is what Dragon Ball taught me. Before Z, GT, Super, Daima etc.

Levin · Answer

The question there is did you like what you see?

And for guys, I guess it's a means of empowerment. The woman is always empowered. As they always say, there is at least 3 guys, superior replacements, in her DM when she breaks up that she knows she can get with. With a man it's different. A woman is innately valuable, but a man has to work for and prove his value.

QualityAssured · Answer

As men age I think they find themsleves feeling very different about who they are or should be.

As a younger man, if they aren't a jock who's drop dead sexy, or the party guy, the funny social guy, they don't really get hit on or looked at or even talked to by chicks very much if at all. So as they start rounding out in life, i. e. graduation of college, career, car, stable living, maturity in attitude and physical looks, women are a lot more attracted to them for these things. It's all new to him. So brand new. So maybe he just wants to look as great as he feels or just wants "gym guy" on his itinerary.

Cormac995 · Answer

Exercise helps relieve stress hormones for one. For another it gives you time to think or a distraction depending on how you do it like adding music or something. Also getting dumped can hurt your ego a lot and getting in shape helps boost it back up. In short, it's a coping mechanism for stress relief.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Men go to the gym to receive male validation because they’ve lost the external validation they received from their relationship. Very few men know how to validate themselves and so external validation is the only way they can build enough confidence to try another relationship and the gym is the easiest place to find that

OneViewpoint · Answer

Physical exercise feels good any time and is a productive use of your time after a breakup when some people may get depressed and sit on the couch eating ice cream, letting themselves go. Why not do something good for you that will give you a sense of accomplishment? And time focused on lifting, running, swimming, or biking is time spent focusing on something other than the sorrow of a breakup. This isn't hard to understand.

Phoenix98 · Answer

It's a confidence builder but it's also a healthy way to pour all of your anger or sadness, whatever your feeling into something productive and keep moving foward.

What better way then to go to the gym and get healthy and jacked? You'll be happier, live longer and be more confident and it'll increase your chances of attracting someone new down the line should you decide to do that.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

What would someone do after rejection they will work on the root cause of it.

While some try to loose themselves in liquor to forget the pain others make the pain into something of a positive challenge and try to prove to the lost person that they missed something great and they will never get it again it's Revenge body build.

It's kinda negative motivation to prove there worth and to show they can do better and chances are they do get someone better.

Batsy01010101 · Answer

I don't have much of a choice i do it for my cancer checkups once every 3 months now once every 6 months. The cystoscopies take a lot out of me physically where it takes a month minimum for the deformed messed up skin to heal and my insides are still swollen inflammed and blood vessels ready to burst open. In fact sometimes it does and im left pissing out blood from the damn procedure

Vevv123 · Answer

It might be to feel better and gain their confidence back, yes. Personally I know it feels very empowering and it also distracts your mind, which is really great when you are going through something tough, so it forces you to stop thinking about negative things. Other times tough situations give you drive too, so it kind of depends on the person and situation.

abc3643 · Answer

It doesn't matter how pumped up you are as long as you reach your pumptential.

Kelley1 · Answer

I don't believe most men hit the gym after a breakup. However, if they do, a primary reason is they were dumped and believe the reason was because they were not attractive enough. Moreover, not that they are single, they want to date prettier (better) than they can currently attract. Hitting the gym is one way to improve their looks and desirability.

RavVid · Answer

Another reason is relationships take up time. So after a breakup you have free time, so you can go to gym as you have thought about.

glennos89 · Answer

To gain confidence again. Woman are also doing that same thing after the breakup. In the relationship they wouldn't dress up or putting that much make up any lre but once they get single they go all out

alice55 · Answer

They feel ugly and want a new girlfriend or maybe it's their revenge dress xD

WonderingManII · Answer

It makes sense to me. He just got out of a bad relationship and feels like He needs to improve himself.

Xawyx-2 · Answer

Realistically speaking, some of them go to the gym just to watch girls in shorts ;)

MrChinaski · Answer

Ummm... to pick up other women, to distract themselves from the misery of singlehood, to build themselves into a better man... I'm sure the reasons vary

LiaRaven · Answer

Because he’ll be available in the market again competing with others lol

FreyaRed · Answer

Most people think when they get dumped it's about their appearance. Women go to shopping, guys go to gym

Joshydavid25 · Answer

It's basically good therapy.. And not to mention if they improve, they might make their ex get a second look, or find somebody they perceive to be better..

Nikki1989 · Answer

They have more money than good sense, usually.  Anyone can work out for free.

Jeff51 · Answer

at least the guy can focus on something else than his ex.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Stress they are feeling from the breakup and to get in better physical shape to get another girl.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

I workout regularly so the gym is a big part of my life

Valdemort · Answer

It starts with aesthetics and they stay for the mental health benefits

beenherebefore · Answer

To unwind, feel better about themselves and improve their physical appearance.

trumpetplayerforlife · Answer

To start getting into shape to look good for a new girl

ChiTown33 · Answer

All of it. There usually multiple reasons. But what percentage of reasons is probably unique to each guy.

genericname85 · Answer

cause that's how you focus on yourself instead of the breakup.

Summeroflove · Answer

It’s about self improvement and even women should do this. Some people let themselves go after a breakup and it’s okay to need time to recover. But. Recover…

Dongie · Answer

They gotta buff it up to get a better lookin woman so the ex can lump it!

TwoToTooTutu2 · Answer

Broken heart hurts self confidence. Lifting heavy objects raises self confidence.

katiesmuff · Answer

Maybe looking for fresh meat!

236color · Answer

The obvious reason is to look better to attract a new girlfriend. But also, it helps relieve stress.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Same reason that some women, post-breakup, start paying more attention to their appearance.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

They think having a great bod will get the broads.

AviatorTom · Answer

Isn't the gym a good place to meet the next girl to date?

SotiCoto · Answer

I'm guessing for the same reason that women cut their hair: They want an image change to distance themselves from the version of them that was in a failed relationship.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

To become like johnny bravo 😄

Brandi555 · Answer

Prolly to get in shape. lol. Lazy boys. 😂😂😂😂

JohnnyB123321 · Answer

Gotta look good for the next girl! And also maybe just to stay busy and keep your mind off it.

Staximus · Answer

Same reason as girls getting a makeover or losing weight after a break up

sage2021 · Answer

Maybe to let out their aggression. 🤷🏼‍♀️

exitseven · Answer

It is probably both those things.

soe11 · Answer

To get another girl.

AudreyPom · Answer

It serves as a distraction and stress reliever. My brother said it. His girlfriend was a trash cheater. As most modern women are.

cheating-test_com · Answer

To keep the mind occupied and for self-improvement.

HelpfulGirlll · Answer

His body loses prolactin

hello4433 · Answer

Both genders do the same thing

Maninderdeepsharma · Answer

Absolutely right

robocop666 · Answer

Johnny Bravo was so cool I want him back

Why do so many guys hit the gym shortly after a breakup?

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