Guys, why do some guys rebound after a break-up?

[Anonymous]

I'm not saying all men are the same but I'm trying to understand what is the point of having a rebound girlfriend if she just ends up getting hurt? I speak from experience, I was unknowingly a rebound girlfriend. My ex told me that he really liked me and wanted to have meaningful relationship. But we only saw each other whenever he felt like it. He broke up with me because I got angry at him. I got angry because we didn't see each other for a week and he cancelled 2 dates on me but he insisted he really wanted to see me. That's not why I got angry, I was sad at first that we'd hadn't seen each other but then he sent me multiple texts saying he was moving away and never coming back and he knew about it the whole time. I asked twice if it was a joke and he said no. So, I got angry and cussed him out. I felt bad so I left a voicemail asking to talk it out. He called me back and said he wasn't going anywhere that it was just a joke. He said because I got angry that I scared him and he wanted to break up with me. He said the whole purpose of going out with me was because I reminded him of his ex of 2 years, I looked and kissed like her. She had just broke up with him one month before he asked me out. He insists that he really did want a relationship with me but also he just wanted to get over his ex faster. I was devastated and angry. He was my first boyfriend and everything. I never had a boyfriend before and was sad that I ended up getting hurt. After we broke up, we saw each other at work about 3 times. He just smiled and waved. I didn't acknowledge, just kept walking. Honestly, I feel a little better that the last time I saw him he got fatter and his face dark and bloated.
Why rebound? Do guys even feel bad about it?

[NomadAnon]

Girls do this too so it goes both ways. Not all people do it but for those who do, it's basically a low-risk way of getting 'back out there' (for them, at least).

Regardless of who ends a relationship, both sides still hurt so 'going on the rebound' is a way of testing how capable you are of being with someone without the same risk of being hurt again - almost like taking control of the situation.

It definitely sucks for the other person, especially if they don't realise at first that they're a rebound/fling for the person they're with and, I'm sorry you've went through this sort of thing. It's part of life though and hopefully you've learned something from it yourself (how to tell if the other person is on the rebound or not).

[Asker]

When they rebound is it because they want to feel attractive and wanted?

[NomadAnon]

Mainly. It's not really something I'd do myself so I can only go by what my friends have said but, that's definitely a big part of it.

As I said, it's a 'low-risk' way of finding out where they're at themselves, emotionally - I'm not gonna lie, sex is a big part of it, maybe they're just looking for "some fun" rather than a full-on commitment but, ultimately, it's about them psyching themselves up for their next proper relationship (same goes for girls who do this).

[reptocarl]

It isn't just guys that do rebounds. There's two reasons. The first after coming out of a LTR it's a way of finding out if you're still attractive to the opposite sex. The other reason is because it temporarily puts off the pain of the loss after a breakup. Both of these only last temporarily which is why rebounds never last. Eventually the sad feelings will surface and will have to go through the grieving process to get over the breakup. A lot of people's instincts is to get a rebound fling thinking incorrectly it'll help them get over their breakup. It won't and only delays the grieving process which makes healing take much longer

[Asker]

When they rebound could it be because they find the girl attractive or attraction has nothing to do with rebounding?

[reptocarl]

I don't think it's so much the attraction. It's more about someone finding the one that just broke up attractive. It's an ego thing

[Asker]

What do you mean finding the one who just broke up attractive? Like, finding someone who looked similar?

[reptocarl]

No. You just broke up and a person you've never met starts showing interest in you. You're a little stunned and flattered that this person finds you attractive so you agree to start seeing them. You're excited that you're still attractive to the opposite sex. A breakup is a blow to the ego and this phenomenon helps your ego

[reptocarl]

But it's also a rebound that won't last

[Asker]

That's interesting considering he showed interest in me and pursued me. I was very shy but he kept on. But it's an ego thing like you said