He keeps drinking and I am entering 9 months of pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

Since 8 month of pregnancy, my boyfriend started drinking every day. 😌😌😌 He used to come home at 5 after work, but now it's always 8-9, and every day he comes home drunk. I am sick of it. We talk about this every day, and every day he says I am sorry, and the next day he does the same thing again.

Yesterday he had a day off, and I went out to have lunch with a friend at 12pm, it was her birthday. And I told him you can go out, too, but let's come home at the same time and spend the rest of the day together. I was home at 4 pm and called him to come home and he said that he will not come home now on purpose because I am nagging him. So at like almost 8 pm he texts me asking "Will you make dinner, I am on my way home". And I told him "You had beer for dinner". Anyhow, after he arrived I started making dinner, but he fell asleep before it was ready and I had dinner alone and left his half in the fridge. I saw he ate it in the morning. He was sleeping, I was crying, baby kicking... He kissed me before going to work but I just ignored him. I got a few texts and calls from him and I picked up and he said he loves me etc.

I don't know how to make him stop. What can I do? 😔😔😔

[Malemajor]

As a dating and relationship coach, here are my two cents:

The worst-case scenario? He’s found someone else to spend time with. But here’s the good news: if he’s still able to kiss you, then he hasn’t completely fallen for another woman. Trust me — a man who has emotionally checked out can’t fake that kind of intimacy.

From your comment, “You had beer for dinner,” (I appreciate your sincerity and boldness to give us the complete picture instead of trying to put the blame completely on one person.) I’m sensing there’s already a bit of tension, probably amplified by the pregnancy. That’s completely normal — pregnancy changes not just your body, but the emotional atmosphere in a relationship. Intimacy might shift, communication might get pricklier, and little remarks can start to feel bigger than they are.

When he says you’re “nagging,” my read is he’s probably not running to another woman but rather stepping away to reset his mind. Many men retreat to bars, hang out with male friends, or find other small escapes when they’re stressed. It’s not about replacing you — it’s about clearing mental space.

The truth is, pregnancy hormones can make emotions run high, and guys (often cluelessly) find this exhausting because they don’t fully understand it. That’s why, for the sake of both your peace of mind and the baby, I recommend deep breathing exercises or short moments of mindfulness when stress hits.

Without more details, I wouldn’t assume he’s a “bad guy.” Alcohol and cigarettes are tough habits to break — people reach for them when they’re sad, happy, bored, cold, or celebrating. Personally, I’m still working on quitting smoking myself, all while sharing life with a spouse who happily pops open a wine bottle most evenings. That’s life — imperfect, messy, and still worth working on.

If you’d like more tailored guidance on how to navigate this chapter in your life— especially as you prepare for parenthood — feel free to reach out. I also work with couples on bridging these tricky moments into stronger, more connected relationships.

[Stevepro68]

Drinking that generates problems for the drinker is almost universally someone who is unable to stand or modify their emotional state. The alcohol is a diversion of dealing with the unpleasant emotional problems that person is suffering with. I am sure that soon to be a parent is a confounding factor but not the cause. You cannot make those emotions go away and you cannot force someone to face the their own emotional demons. There is a rainy chance that if you go to him and say your drinking is a problem and he needs outside help he may agree but substance abuse is extraordinarily resistant to negative stimulus. Repercussions don't matter because the emotions are worse than anything you can do.

[Anonymous]

Haha you’re nine months pregnant and complaining about him but you’re on GaG. Think you’d have more pressing matters.

[CoffeeNut]

He's not going to change. It sounds like the equivalent of a guy having to deal with a disrespectful girlfriend flirting with other guys and calling him "insecure" for saying something about it. In other words, it's already over. If I were you, I'd dump him and build up a support network among your friends and family to help raise the child. It's going to suck for the kid to be fatherless and leave him/her at an early disadvantage ((s) he will need a substitute father figure (so to speak) like your brother, uncle, or some other guy you trust to avoid becoming super messed up), but it is better that than seeing his/her own mother and father in a dysfunctional relationship that is not getting any better. Your child's wellbeing comes first, and if that means cutting ties with someone that will be a horrible influence, so be it.

[slatyb]

He's anxious or unhappy about the responsibility of being a father. Did you plan this child, or did it just happens?

[Malemajor]

This is a very important question !

[Asker]

he wanted this baby, it was planned and intentional, no kind of accident

[MasterKS]

High time to talk seriously and take some action for life with this shitty asshole alcoholic.