Guys, What would prompt you to make a GRAND GESTURE for a girl you're just friends with?

[DishLady]

A fellow has suddenly taken to running all sorts of odd errands for me. I don't even have to ask him. I state that I have a problem (X) and suddenly X is magically resolved and he's waiting to get his praise or scooby treat or whatever it is he's expecting.

I stick with a private compliment and thanks, but also give public recognition, offering the logical credit for his good deed. But then that's it. There's no gushing or anything. And he keeps doing me these favors. I keep thinking it's to impress people in our circle, people who are perhaps more influential, etc. But they're very basic errands that I just didn't have time to complete on my own, so he pitched in. Flawlessly.

More recently he chose to throw a sizable contribution to an event I'm running. It didn't make any sense to me. I called him and told him not to say he'll do such things when he has so many obligations... but he insisted. (He gave me a hard time about it too, asking why I'm upset when he's doing something nice... And I shrugged, saying it's NICE, but don't go crazy doing things that aren't sustainable.)

I don't think anyone's ever said such things to him before, but I'm a level-headed gal and don't like to see anyone overextend themselves, making promises they can't keep. To me it all seems crazy. I'm not sure who he's showing off too when he knows I'm not impressed by "stuff". (Probably some gal he's planning to bring to the event.)

What would prompt you guys to make grand gestures to a woman you're just friends with?

[aaron13547]

I wouldn't make a grand gesture for anyone. Only for myself. I think everyone has a purpose for why they do everything but a lot of the times we aren't aware what it really is ourselves. If I were in your position I'd make dude clear these grand gestures are getting the same appreciation as the small favor and that would be it. Everything else was his choice just because he puts into your universe doesn't mean your required to give back. Let's say he is trying to make a grand gesture for your ❤️... he is doing it for YOUR ❤️. So maybe by showing you his everything you will give back yours... even love is a selfish thing. Just be clear it's always OK to choose yourself. For both you and him, to stay true to yourself are the only intentions I think matter

Might I add, I like reading your stuff so much because I believe you already answer your own questions, you just want to understand more... i do to. You are always true to yourself and i think that's very clear in everything I've read you put on here

[HawkPerception]

I can't speak for all guys, but I'm always happy to help out the people around me regardless of their gender. If I see them regularly and I know they appreciate my help and I have the time to help them, I'm going to help them.

Some guys may be simps though and try to get in a girl's good books in the hopes of getting closer to them.

[DishLady]

Why does that make them simps? (I don't like this new term...)

[HawkPerception]

It means they're willing to do anything and suck up to a girl to get to them to see them in a good light. That is not respectable. You should be yourself around everyone. Not just to a girl to get in their pants.

[DishLady]

I don't know that that’s what the fellow is doing.

[Ascendant_Bias69]

Honestly, it seems like he's hoping to get sex or a date out of it. People aren't that nice, to the point where they go above and beyond for people without hoping for something in return. He'll probably get rude and passive aggressive with you eventually, when he realizes you're not going to "reward him" for his efforts.

[DishLady]

See... you would think so... but we were already through our rough patch. This is weird.

[Ascendant_Bias69]

Hmm. That is confusing, then. Maybe he's trying to make up for the rough patch? Or he's making another attempt at impressing you, and there will be another rough patch if you don't reciprocate his efforts. Time will tell, I guess

[DishLady]

I’m not easily impressed tbh. Not material things anyway. I need to see that heart of gold, not the brick of gold.

[spartan55]

I wouldn't do it, so I can't relate. Stupid young Spartan might have done it to try to get laid, but he had SOME smarts back then.

[DishLady]

Fair enough. How much younger, Grandpa Smurf?

[spartan55]

90's BC... Wilma Flintstone.

[DishLady]

Yabba Dabba Doo coocoo

[worldscolide]

Honestly nothing. I do grand gestures for my wife, both pre and post getting married.

[OlderAndWiser]

The most logical explanation is that he is trying to score points with YOU!

[DishLady]

Meh. For what?

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe he wants to be more than just friends.

[DishLady]

Doesn’t make sense. We don’t speak except for this stuff. He says we’re just friends. I say we’re nothing bc he’s strange this way.

[exitseven]

He wants to be more than a friend.

[DishLady]

🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[DishLady]

I asked a guy friend who knows this guy. He said the guy is a clueless meathead who is just messing with me.

[Staximus]

He's trying to impress you

[DishLady]

For what?

[Staximus]

You tell me

[DishLady]

🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️