Are men running off women from dating? If so, why is that?

Question

After reading many posts and comments on here from different guys and posts and comments from guys on instagram, It seems like they are trying to run off the good women who actually want a long term relationship.
Now first to start with is cheating, I’ve seen a few mention that it’s in a man’s nature to be with multiple women.. where exactly is that stated? Because I’ve also seen men say it’s in a man’s nature to be loyal, so that leads me to think that the first guy is talking out of his ass. Same thing as how “a man is supposed to have sex with as many women as possible” I’m pretty sure that’s not a thing either, more so a game that men think of.
I’ve also seen people refer to a set few as “incel” I’m not really sure what that means, if someone could explain that? And of course the guys who say “what would a man benefit from being in a relationship other than sex” I’ve seen that a lot but then realize that it’s the same guys that go and complain about how they can’t find a women, or how they were rejected by a women they liked. So I assume that they say those things to steer other women away from wanting a relationship because they couldn’t get the girl they wanted?
Please correct me if I am wrong, butt this genuinely confuses me

Vevv123 · Accepted Answer

You’re getting these opinion from men online, which in itself is a very limited demographic of men. But I completely agree with you, things like saying “it’s in a man’s nature” are just ways for people to justify things like cheating or lusting. The people who don’t think like this rarely ever comment on it because it probably seems like common sense that’s it’s not in someone’s nature, so you’ll probably never see them writing a post about it or talking about it. I think some people on this website also write some extreme things to get attention. There’s a lot of toxic content on here.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Well, if you only knew men from what you read on here, for example, you would be turned off by men forever probably. Instagram was never so bad back in the day when I was on there.

slatyb · Accepted Answer

Those men are more common online than in real life. Anonymity attracts assholes.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

No. It just hard with the rise in online dating and post covid lifestyles.

lightbulb27 · Answer

you'll get more viewpoints than the colors on a color wheel. Were humans with a drive towards women (for those whom are men seeking women). Beyond that, we've got all sorts of development issues, assumptions, traumas and beliefs.

You have to sort through all the baloney to find someone youd like to share life with and work with.

answer is yes. The psychology of each person means you can have a guy that likes you that runs you off, doesn't approach. Some guys are givers and some are selfish and will abuse you.

you have to learn to filter people out based upon your values and as well build your self esteem and worth so you are strong not to put up with the demented ones.

dragoblack · Answer

I don't think it's that. I believe it is most of society doesn't self-reflect on their actions & what they say to take time to heal. Much of society is quick to jump from one relationship to another taking no time to heal or see if their own actions were the problem, then bring the toxicity & drama into the next relationship. There's also the issue of people trying to turn their partner into the mental ideal of them, and people having unrealistic and/or outdated ideas of how a relationship should function and that there are roles. Relationships have been dehumanized into being give and take instead of genuine interaction, romance, & companionship.
Cheating is never a justifyable reason to leave a relationship, but when you partner is abusive, it seems like a good choice to leave, instead of packing up their things and just ending the relationship... which i think is stupid. Literally just end it and leave if you are not happy, but pack up your stuff first, so no destructive petty & vindictive shite goes down.
Point is, it's not a men problem or a women problem, both are shoving eachother away from dating because both are the problem.
Also, i see so many relationships come from a 1-night stand and the relationship is based solely on having sex, but as soon as it's not fun anymore both know next to nothing about who they truly are, and end up screaming, yelling and making it to where everyone else has to see or hear. Next to noone knows what love is, but confuse love with lust & obsession (and sometimes stubbornness).
Get to know eachother as people, don't see them as a role in a relationship; if you have problems in a relationship, talk them out without yelling and throwing things; if your partner is vulnerable with you, accept them, even if it makes you slightly uncomfortable because you are not used to it or know how to handle it; don't treat your partner as your ex, what happens in your past relationship stays in your past relationship; if you are both in a fight, take a moment to think about what you said and did to see if you were in the wrong (the longer you blame your partner the worse it will get); being petty is a choice, just don't do it even in impulse; cheating is always a choice, even if someone puts you in the mood, it's still not an good excuse; if you both are fighting frequently, just sit down and talk about the relationship going forward and whether it should continue.
When it comes to dating, getting mad isn't an ok reaction; Dont test and play mindgames even if you think it is fun, because you are abusing someone else's emotions & trust; hinting is not communication, because communication requires understanding from both sides; and just don't be an a$$h0le, it's not hard to be a genuine person.

aceleon · Answer

man's nature to be loyal? based of what?

i can defend the multi woman thing by just showing how our reproduction system works.

how the fuck the loyalty defender can defend this shit other than sprouting emotional shit?

girl think about it, countless amount of sperm is made in only one of a guy while we are talking right now, yes most of them will go to waste but this is the interesting part, male reproduction organism is never a waste like woman cycle, your eggs are very limited compared to our sperm, male reproduction is almost limitless while female human reproduction is severely limited.

get 1000 woman and 1 guy breeding for 10 years you can have 10.000 kid from out of this.

get 1 woman and 1000 guy breeding: you will only have 10 kid unless you get twins or triplets, fuck it let's say you gave birth to 10 kid every year, it will still be 100 at best and more than likely most of your mans won't be the fathers of those kids.

evolution is all about continuing life, a crowded pack structure/population is always stronger and safer than smaller populations.

human kids needs long periods of childcare so they need their mother's full attention because they won't grow in the past 2 year and be ready to took of to the world alone so a human mother can't be having multiple offsprings to take care of (it would be torture)

male has no such need, we don't have to linger, we are the spreader while you are the caregiver

so we are desgined in a way we can spread almost limitlessly and you for long term childcare and as biological machines our desires comes from our bodily structure, lions wants meat and not gras because this is what their body is designed for, they desire what their body is designed for.

please stop with the romantic masculinity shit some guys created to look appealing to woman.

yes we can not engage with our innate design but this is still what we are inside.

RavVid · Answer

I don't know what you mean by 'running off women'. I think you might be meaning pushing women away but I might be wrong.

Incel is easiest to resolve for you because it is a contraction of involuntary celibate and is referring to men who are celibate because they are unable to form a relationship with a woman. Often used in a dismissive sense.

A large part of what confuses you is that you are assuming that a concept is either true or false but in real life contradictory things can be true at the same time. The former is called the 'pure slice of reality': everything is logically consistent and nothing is contradictory.

Lets suppose at work a person above you leaves and management asks you to act in that role. You can be very happy that your good work and skills are being recognized by management. But you can be very unhappy at the same time. You are not being paid more and you have to work late to do both jobs. Plus you may not be promoted to the higher position and being asked to act is tantamount to saying you will not be promoted.

It is very possible to be both very happy and very unhappy with the same circumstances at the the same time in the real world. It is also quite common to want multiple things at the same time. Plus people are able to want X most of all today but consider Y to be highest priority tomorrow.

All the contrary things you have read can be true at a point in time and not true at a different point.

Sal_Monella · Answer

That is true. The modern culture of wokism, feminism and Karenism has made dating unworkable for men. There is simply too much expense (emotional and financial) and risk (legal and reputation) in taking that chance.

I wore a wire and body cam to work for the last years of my career. I saw to it I was not alone with a female EVER in a room or elevator.

When I was in Da Nang, I knew that "Charlie" would pour your coffee in the AM and could cut your throat at night. That, grasshopper, is what dating is becoming. It is better to hook up or rent.

The one compensation is that men are recruiting women from the Orient and Latin America to bear our children and warm our beds. You can call them Mail Order Brides. I call them Happily Ever After. I did not rob the cradle. I have already done this for 17 years.

Are men running off women from dating? If so, why is that?

I am ever so glad you asked. Women can fix this but it will take a generation. They are riding in the horses of lawyers and leftist judges. When social change arrives (war financial and cultural collapse) women will again cling to men like baby possums.

You may not live to see the holes you all dug. But the browning of America cannot come soon enough. You can fix this if you want to. I'm betting you don't.

jshm2 · Answer

LOL, a lot of what you read online is rage bait, bullshit or user content. Never absolutely believe anything trying to shape your opinion.

As for the "dating scene" there is no such thing. It's really just "hookup culture". Where guys (and a lot of girls) are expecting a bit of chat, then a dinner, then maybe sex and taking it from there.

It's why there is so much animosity on both sides when that "movie script" doesn't work out. The guys doesn't think you're worth his time, or should have a share of his wages, or be treated like a "queen" etc etc.

Everyone thinks they are the shit, until they hit the wall of reality and realize they were mostly shit, and little else. Then invent a narrative online to make a community to boost their ego again.

heruncommonsense · Answer

Incel is short for involuntarily celibate. Most of the time it specifically refers to males who use their celibacy as an excuse to hate women.

Listen, males are motivated by three things. H0rniness, hunger, and hatred of women.

All males cheat if they have the opportunity. Sometimes they lie about it in hopes of getting laid (yes, males try to get laid through internet posts lol)

Except for some lesbian relationships, relationships are entirely about s3x. Males make sex miserable for the woman on purpose, and they try to keep women coming with money.

Males say they want women to be virgins, but I'm a virgin and males hate me too. Besides, how could all males have sex with as many women as possible, while every women stays loyal to one male?

The truth is, males just want to control women. :(

Anonymous · Answer

The term Incel stands for involuntarily celibate, so guys who would like to have sex but can't find a woman who is willing. However, people have expanded the definition to include all guys who are angry and bitter toward women and society.

You mentioned guys say they "drive good women away" for different reasons, but they are all right because every guy is different. There are a few things going on here. First, things are very different today than they were decades ago. Women have reset the expectations about casual sex, and now guys expect it. And they know if one woman doesn't put out, the next one probably will. It's a no-win situation for good women who are looking for a relationship and not just sex.

And finally, women are different today in other ways. The divorce rate is very high, and women file 80% of divorces. Many men have just decided it's no longer worth it, and casual sex is the only safe option.

dustybiker2 · Answer

You miss an important lesson here.

You only need one good man. And if men are saying "It's male nature to..." that is a beacon to the type of man they are. A bright sign to avoid them. A guide to the great men. Step back. Pay attention. Details in life matter and so many big ones are easily overlooked.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

The more men and women listen to other women or men the more the listener muddies their mind. Especially true if you spend your time online as a measurement of the opposite sex. I mean if I did, reading mens comments here I would avoid women. In ready some of the comments by women … this would cement this sentiment. I imagine the reverse is the same for women in reading the comments. The net is polarized. Two extremes flinging shit at what it perceives as, “the other side”. Don’t get sucked into the rhetoric. The loudest voices always come from the smallest fringe minorities and not from the majority. Which is where most well adjust men and women exist … in the majority.

godfatherfan · Answer

Are you kidding? If anything, women are making men choose being single over putting up with the nonsense and unrealistic demands of women. I don't know where women get the nerve to demand the ridiculous things they do, but sorry... no.

I have just started dating again after taking the last 6 1/2 years off. I was happy being alone. No nonsense. Dipping my toe back into the dating pool reminded me why I stopped.

Anonymous · Answer

For me, it's like this:

I'm a virgin, I've never been in a relationship, and I never had a kiss.
All of my loves were unrequited.
I'm not an incel, because I respect women, and I don't blame them.
I'm aware that I don't have much to offer (I'm not rich or handsome).

I'm very shy, and I lack self-confidence, so I can't make the first move, I need a dominant girl, who likes to take initiative.

Girls I like usually don't like me back.

Girls who like me are usually not my type.

I won't settle for just about any girl, because that wouldn't be fair to her, or to me.
I won't delude her that I'm in love, if I'm really not.

ohsheeT · Answer

For some reason there a lot of men or boys that hate women it's like they got rejected or something and they don't know hot to deal with so they take it out on all women.

Here's the funny part is one day they will giving a girl a hard time and he missed out because no thought him it's a part of life it was a lesson to learn from not make worse.

HawkPerception · Answer

These 2 videos shed some light on the reality of the dating world right now in my opinion.

dwreborn · Answer

Iam sure every man is different I myself have only had sex with 2 women in my life and have been with my wife for 25 years and married for 17 and I want no one but her I've never cheated not even close and I do find other women attractive but I have just been really in love with her and that feeling is stronger then ever and it's not about sex for me love doing it but it's the connection with me that keeps me around it's not the sex

Miristheiss · Answer

I read a report that more and more women are left leaning now (feminist, open borders, promiscuity is fine, trans in womens sports, soft on crime more entitlement spending) and more men are right leaning.

Most may not have the same values anymore.

Alex-Snow · Answer

Guys that do that are idiots! I'm not sure what an incel is either! I have always enjoyed longer term relationships even at my young age of 20. (Yes I have been guilty of one hookup for a night) but I enjoy dating, the convo and some honest fun. Message me if you want to her more about it from guys perspective. Have a great rest of the day.

Anonymous · Answer

Only a few guys are actively giving up on women. Most want a relationship, though a lot of the more socially confident ones want to mess around and hook up when they’re our age and into their late twenties (but definitely not all of them). But after that they mostly settle down.

blackeagle007 · Answer

Two possibilities.

1. Not used to dating a good, normal guy. Get scared when they meet someone with potential.

2. Not looking for anything serious. Just fun, attention. Having a goal of “Changing the bad boy to a nice guy”.

You can’t change anyone! They have to do it themselves.

Anonymous · Answer

Different types of guys. Some are loyal and want a relationship, but it seems most women want to have fun having sex with lots of guys that aren't relationship types, then those guys that couldn't get dates are settled for later on when she's older. That's why a lot of good men have given up the dream of relationships.

Zionne · Answer

Most men aren’t trying to scare women away, it’s just a loud minority online saying extreme things. “Incel” means a guy who can’t get dates and blames women. Real men who want love still value loyalty and relationships.

MJVillarama · Answer

Not all men are like that, some just act out of insecurity or frustration. “Incel” means “involuntarily celibate,” guys who can’t get dates and get bitter about it. Most people just want connection; ignore the noise.

zagor · Answer

Incel = involuntarily celibate. ie they can't get laid. And continually whine about it.

The fact is men are NOT all the same, in spite of what some women here seem to think. Probably because they keep dating the same type of men.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I'm a loyal man and a one woman man, i only want a long term relationship which leads to marriage, to me a woman is a lot more than sex, a woman who has only sex to offer me is rejected, so tell me what am i?

girlyisaskinh · Answer

Honestly based on men i spoke to here i want nothing to do with any man ever. I dont want to speak to them. They can go f each other idc.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

No. It's internet propaganda. In life outside the basement dating is going on as its been from the beginning. The weirdos sitting at home masturbating to porn are the extreme minority.

Filthy_Immigrant · Answer

look around you. are today's worth the fucking effort?

jahaims · Answer

Poor cultural and societal values are scaring off both genders

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

A man isn't supposed to club EVERY broad, just SOME broads.

spartan55 · Answer

I think you have that backwards.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Nah. Simply put I’ve given up entirely

MasterKS · Answer

casual sex is easier.

BigIdiot · Answer

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